#vanessa;
the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

240788-->leo;
ex-IJTP.4/nine2004;
cjc.1T05;
swimmer; drama mama; councillor;
laugh_out_loud247[at]hotmail[dot]com;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
pinkstilettos;
temporary insanity;
guestbook;
poetry;


angels`
-friends

4/nine.
chij.
alyssa.
angie.
benjamin.
bernie.
bert.
brendan.
carol.
carol n.
charles.
cheryl.
chris.
corinne.
dalun.
darren.
elsa.
erika.
gen.
joachim.
jolene.
judette.
kimberly.
lester.
nat.
qibing.
roxy.
sam.
sean.
seb.
sheryl.
stephi.

-snaps
[Carolling]
[Dinner&Dance]
[CJC]
[Chinese New Year]
[Poetry]
[Misc]
[Sentosa]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

-thanks
blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

-memories
July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;

layoutandimages[by]q|en

Friday, February 18, 2005
i've spent the last hour crying between intervals.

to know that you're hurting, hurt me enough.
to know that you're hurting and i can't do anything, is much worse.
but to know that you're hurting, and i'm the reason for your hurt...
it's unbearable.
i never knew i was capable of hurting someone so much.
i never knew i had this capacity for cruelty.
i never knew that i could feel this way about myself.
i'm not good enough for you, or really, not good enough for anyone.
you don't deserve someone like me.
you deserve someone who's kinder. sweeter. lovelier. more caring.
i wish i could lie to myself, but i've not been that to you at all. you know that's true.

I have dreamed of a time when I'd leave this all behind,
But I thought that I'd be stronger or I hoped that I'd be blind.
But now I know that I am neither and it hurts to say goodbye.
I will always have your skyline in my eyes...

fuck it.

and you. i don't know what to say about you.

she smiled
at 5:57 PM


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