the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Saturday, January 01, 2005
<1:19am, 1st January 2005>

i hope you don't mind,
i hope you don't mind,
that i put down in words...
how wonderful life is
when you're in the world.

-sighs- and you thought the year would never end! well, it has, unfortunately. or fortunately, whichever way you look at it. it's been about an hour since my mother picked my up from Yishun Safra! alotta the CYF members all went down to celebrate! :) it was absolutely a cool experience, and superbly exhilirating. :D spent the afternoon bit with shawn (his parents were both in, and his mum very kindly offered me clarinase for my cold. and it works! i'm never taking panadol again.) and then his dad gave us a lift there. and thank goodness for that too, it was pouring. -makes face-

anyhoos. got there and saw the rest! val in her pretty tube!; angie in her grad-nightish gown!; mal in the world's shortest skirt! wahaha! :) everyone looked great. anyway, we went in after waiting a while and had dinner. the emcee was really funny! not like the lame one we had for grad night, a REALLY funny one. hahaha. and we played this game where a guy had to get all gussied up, and our very own shawnyboy got dolled up a la marilyn monroe, minus the blonde curls and real boobs! :D he looked hilariously funny! (and so did heng and owen! ;))

dinner wasn't fantastic, but it was passable. really liked the sharksfin soup. :) ooh, and the lucky draws!! -scowls- why don't i ever get lucky enough to win a prize! haha, i don't care if it's the last one, i WANT ONE! hahaha, see that's my singaporean side. ;D anyhoos. after that came performances (not too bad!) and the dancing!

normally, i'm quite shy when it comes to this kinda stuff, but for once i'm glad i surrendered all inhibitions and just LET GO! :) it's like you're getting rid of all the old stuff -- all the sadness, fear, anger and regret that you might feel for 2004 and just "morph" into a new YOU for 2005. :D i think it's great, letting go of grievances and starting afresh. :) danced with so many people! gosh, it was great fun! and the songs too! ahaha, though they weren't really the r&b songs that erika, shireen and i were groooovin' too during grad night, they were pretty good anyhow! :)

anyway! mum came to fetch me at 12.20, so i had to leave. i really look forward to the day when she trusts me enough to let me do stuff on my own. she says she doesn't let us (my brother and i) do stuff 'cause there's no "other person" to share the problems with if anything should happen. and that why should we put ourselves at risk of any danger when we can avoid it totally? i get what she's driving at, but it's silly when i think about it -- everyday when you're outside, there's a chance that you might be molested, pickpocketed or killed. a very, very small chance, but a chance nonetheless. does that mean that you're going to stop leaving the house because of it?

i understand that it's stupid to put yourself in harm's way for no good reason, but don't you have to understand that every situation is risky to a certain extent? i say we should just not worry so much. (easy for me to say, i'm not a mother!) yeah, i know. but as a wise man once said, "do not dwell on the past, that you forget to live." he means, don't be terrified of past bad experiences or the uncertainties of the future. no one wants to live a life of "what-ifs" and "could-have-beens". sometimes, we just gotta take it by the horns and screw it. :D

hell. if it happens, it happens. :)

anyhoos! enough about that. it is now saturday, 1st January 2005. to begin this new year, i'm going to round off 2004 with some very necessary thank-yous. :)

natalie + bitchfest'04: god, you guys. i don't know what else to say. y'know, whenever someone asks me what's the one thing i'm going to miss the most about IJ, i say: "my bitches, especially the slashy one." nat, i love you. sec school would have been crazy without you, and i moste probably would've lost it. you're my angel, remember that yeah? bitches -- stephi, carol, abish, chris, tasha, nat. 2005 is a new beginning for us all, and though i might not be next to you, i'll keep you in my hearts if you'll keep me in yours. i love you guys! -hugsallaround-

carol, val, angie, wyna, qibs: angie, my void-deck stufy pal! i still have the chilli packet, you know. :) one thing i find amazing about you is your capacity to love. i've never known someone whose smile is so ready, and whose hands just reach out to touch the lives of those in need. thank you, friend, for loving. :) val+wyna+qibing! macs and church study buddies. hahaha! let's hope our efforts pay off yeah? thans for studying with me, and especially val, for always encouraging me when i feel dejected or unmotivated. i truly appreciate that! and carol... last but not least. recently i haven't been treating you too good, and i realise that i have to do something about it, so thanks for telling me before i lost anymore friends. it's been a long road, you and i. and i'm glad that CYF and MS will keep us together 'cause there's really no one i'd rather be gossiping and walking down this road to adulthood and rebellion with. :) i love you, please don'tever forget that. :)

sebastian; da-ge: surprised to see your name here?! haha, i'm surprised i put it down. :P can't say we're that close, or that i'm the number one person in your life (someone would slaughter me. or rather, both our someones! haha!) but i can say that despite everything, it's funny, but i can sorta "feel" your care for me, and that's a feeling i hope won't go away. when i was 10, and my 'rents were first going through the big D, i kinda wished that i had a big sister or brother, someone to look after me when my parents stopped. well, they didn't, but i got my wish anyway! :) i'm glad to have you as my "brother" and y'know, i hope you're thankful to have me as a "mei" too! hahaha. ;)

joachim: y'know that time when you affirmed me? i don't think i told you, but it touched me in a way that very few people could've. and only after a few days of getting to know you! ahaha. i hope you don't mind, but i'm really going to hold onto you as a friend. :) you're special, and you better realise it soon. thanks for listening that time, and straightening out my thoughts. it helped, really. and come to think of it, i guess you could say you're my favourite leo too. ;) rock on!

shawn; hubby: feeling shy to see your name here? haha. :) i don't know if i've told you, but getting to know you, being with you, has really affected me. you've changed my mindset, my personality (a bit!) and in doing so, i guess you could say that you've changed my life. YOU gave me confidence; YOU gave me encouragement and hope when i needed it most; YOU gave me a shoulder to cry on, and a ear that listens. i guess i can only hope that i've given you a quarter of all the things that you've given me. y'know that song... "let the sun stop burning, let the world stop turning. let them tell me life's not worth living for. let the world fall apart, i will know deep in my heart, the only thing that mattered had come true... in this life, i was loved... by you." :) i love you.

<2:17am, 1st January 2005>

she smiled
at 10:33 AM

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