the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Tuesday, December 28, 2004
realised i haven't blogged in a while. carolling was great, i thought this year's one was comparably better to last year's, but then again, who am i to judge? haha. even though i kinda screwed up my lines (trust my luck to be stuck with a new song that is the most weirdly-tuned thing i've ever heard) i still think it wasn't that bad. haha and i'm SURE cally found it memorable too eh? lols!

went out for brekkie with val and joa today. surprisingly very few people could come, which of course is due to my "poor public relations skills" from joa's point of view. ha-dee-ha-ha. anyhoos. had food, bought myself some white chrysanthemums, went down to cat high to collect some thingamajigs and then bought chocs (high point, finally. :)) and came home. i've lost my apetite even though i am hungry. it's like those weird days when you're sick and can't bring yourself to eat anything even though you know you should.

i feel weird. and a bit on the bonkers side. i don't even know how to describe it -- it's like a swirlpool of emotions inside. happiness, anger, fear, regret, remorse, annoyance and a twinge of sadness. i just don't know where one ends and the other begins, so i don't know how to sort through such a tangle of everything. i read a book called "The Beat Goes On" about this girl, Emma, who contracted HIV because she had unprotected sex -- just once -- with a guy she barely knew. and there was one phrase in there that kinda made me think -- we always hear of cases like these happening to one unlucky sucker in about a hundred. so we kid ourselves, how could we be that one sucker? it's just too absurd. but WHAT on earth stops us from being that one unlucky soul? how do YOU know your whole life won't be ruined by one silly careless and stupid mistake?

sacre bloody bleu. and tres patheticos.

i'm turning into a barmy psycho. good grief.

anyhoos. let's not turn into a loonybin before jc. yes. christmas has come and gone and the new year looms. so, it's the time of the year when people start buying new pens and new pencil cases (as did i! it's purple and spotty and so fun to look at) and new diaries and notebooks and schoolbags and everything. a new year, a new beginning, eh?

let's see.

Things That I've Learned This Year (2004)

1. joteo is a great english teacher. and i miss her.
2. i definitely do not like amaths. (or the teacher)
3. or chemistry for that matter. (ditto above)
4. remembering your best friend's birthday and reading her delighted sms reply is a joy in itself.
5. make new friends, keep the old. one is silver, one is gold.

1. SAC was still the best thing that happened to our class.
2. Valentine's Day is a day to be celebrated with someone really nice. :)
3. in the end it doesn't matter whether or not you received presents to others for v'day.
4. the happiness... is in giving. truly.

1. getting really into knowing somebody can be wonderful.
2. holidays are not really holidays if there's a mountain of work!
3. going out with dad is sometimes frustrating, even though i love him.

1. april fools' day is still fun, no matter what age you are.
2. do not eat roadside taiwanese sausages before you go for a concert.
3. bulimic people really don't have fun.
4. a simple kiss on the cheek is too much for a silly schoolgirl. :)
5. "i'd rather chase after my own happiness, than to merely watch it from a distance and hope it comes to me."

1. physics exams are the best.
2. mid-year exams are still yucky.
3. you're not the only one disappointed when you get lousy grades. your teachers and parents are sad too.
4. making a promise to work better is always beneficial.
5. founders day mass can be sad.

1. harry potter is cool only because of the cute bad blonde boy.
2. and the fact that they're all english. :)

1. no matter what anyone says, it's always nice to sing them a song on their birthday.
2. even if they're as similar as night and day, it doesn't mean that 2 people will get along.
3. to have your birthday remembered can bring tears to your eyes.
4. keeping secrets is alright for a while, but after a while you get angry.

1. national day mass rocked because WE DID IT.
2. i still love my class.
3. chemistry tuition sucks.
4. belly-piercing hurts like crap. but it's so worth it. :)

1. even if he's the world's most horrid person, you still love your brother.
2. although you may feel that a friendship is the same, it might not be so.
3. chemistry tuition may not be so bad after all.

1. if you haven't woken up by prelims, you're pretty dead meat.
2. if you have, you'd better give thanks to the one up there.
3. getting improved marks on your prelims can really make you smile.
4. saving your friend's mum's number is always a good thing.
5. surprising your soulmate (THIS MEANS YOU, WOMAN) with a belated birthday thingy is just the funnest.
6. it is when you can do the chem tys over and over and not feel like burning it, that you know you've really overcome your obstacle.

1. exams are really nothing to be afraid of.
2. stinky examiners are.
3. when the exams are finally over, no one can really believe it for a while.
4. THEN. the smiles start coming out.
5. i really do like chemistry now.
6. grad night is a sad affair even though everyone looks so happy.

1. sometimes you should read in between the lines and people's emotions and what they're really thinking.
2. even if you've been hurt by a friend, it does not mean the end of the friendship.
3. do not ever do anything out of obligation to another person. it just makes it hurt more if she finds out.
4. you should always be honest with those you love, even if it hurts.
5. christmas is still beautiful even if everything around you sucks.
6. do not commit reckless mistakes, unless you want to possibly ruin your life.
7. it's horribly saddening when you think of people that you love leaving.
8. even though change is for the better, it can still be sad sometimes...

the next time you read from me, i shall have more ponderings up here. i've been doing a lot of that lately, and i guess it's 'cause i'm reading more. :) hmm, a list of things that i'm thankful for, and a list of things that i will be happy to say goodbye to come 2005... and so on. :) loving all of you. -bighugsallround-

(oh, and have i mentioned that i look british books? actually i lover everything british, including a boy called thomas felton. -winks- i'm currently in love with a girl though, and her name is georgia nicolson. :) for those of you who have yet to get me anything for christmas, now you know!)

she smiled
at 2:44 PM

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