the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Everytime our eyes meet,
This feeling inside me,
Is almost more than I can take.

Baby when you touch me,
I can feel how much you love me.
And it just blows me away.

I've never been this close to anyone or anything,
I can hear your thoughts,
I can see your dreams.

I don't know how you do what you do,
I'm so in love with you, it just keeps getting better.
I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side.
Forever and ever.

Every little thing that you do,
Baby I'm amazed by you.

she smiled
at 1:25 PM

been reading up on japan.
am glad to report that i've memorized japan in one hour!
-smiles- at least i'm getting somewhere.
social studies o-level exam is coming up.
everyone is spotting chapters and stuff.
and they've left out venice!
-sobs- i like venice. it's pretty interesting! hahaha.
well, just hope what they say will come out will come out.

was supposed to go to school today for the ss class.
but was too bloody lazy.
-sighs- how am i gonna do well for Os?
i'm scared i can't get into acjc.
and YES i really wanna go there.
despite having only 3 loyal supporters.
everyone else can take their own opinion and shove it.
hahaha. i'm mean.
but really, it's not a bad place if you just give it a chance.
yupps. caught up with yilin yesterday.
she's so funny! haha.
didn't know that we had hair down um there.
lols! (: so crude.

mmm, shall go study switzerfuckingland now.
it's such a stupid topic.
it's just singapore fishing for compliments.
'oh, switzerland are top producers of intricate, gorgeous,
delicate products. they're thriving! they're multiracial!
aren't we just like that??'


she smiled
at 1:18 PM

shawn and tricia.

she smiled
at 1:14 PM

joachim and shawn.(:

she smiled
at 1:13 PM

jeremy, val and carol.

she smiled
at 1:12 PM


she smiled
at 1:12 PM

Friday, October 22, 2004

and this is wyna, the narcisstic twit of whom i have about 11 pics of in my phone. (:

she smiled
at 11:28 PM

john and me! (:

she smiled
at 11:26 PM

been studying quite a bit this past week, but as alyssa says, the nearer the Os get, the less i feel like i'm pushing myself. for example, i watched two movies this week! can you believe it? TWO!! i must be out of my mind. ooh, and i watched 2046 (which sucks. it's all about sex. and how tony leung spent 6 christmas eves having sex with babes and ditching them. urrghs.) and white chicks today (which was shit funny! (: shawn wayans and marlon wayans are uber funny!). yupps, so that's about 6 hours wasted already. hahaha. so that's IT. starting sunday (tomorrow's open house day for both SAJC and ACJC), i'm going to be working my butt off. it'll all pay off in the end. right?! haha.

anyways. chemistry practical was really bad. i think i screwed up plenty! which is worrisome. and now i think that i've to score really well for the theory paper so that i can get my beloved A. -sighs- back to the ole' ten-year-series, i suppose. but i will do it yet! (: oh, and my mother is being a bitch. i haven't been online for the whole bloody week, and she wants me to get off and go to bed. -scowls- she's sucha fuckshit. can't i even have a bloody hour of the net? -glares-

and in other news, i heard this morning that sly and maia are together. i don't have a big problem with that, but... ohmyfreakinggoodnessbabecanyouplease

yes. and, i cannot believe maia is out.

singapore, i truly think you lot are demented.

she smiled
at 11:19 PM

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Any moment, everything can change.
Feel the wind on your shoulder,
For a minute, all the world can wait.
Let go of your yesterday...
Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing,
And take control?

right now, i'm currrently schooless. and it's quite a weird feeling. hahaha. thursday was our last day of school and everyone went trigger-happy! haha. took many pictures which i will definitely upload, but 'cause mine were taken by a normal cam (yes, i am quite digitally-retarded) it'll take longer, so for now, i've stolen some off sam and stephi who are both such dolls. (: ahhhh. 4/9 2004. four9. 4nine. i'm going to miss you lot of wackos!

anyways. it is now sunday. the exams are SO close and everyone is busy studying like crazy. somehow i don't feel like i'm studying hard enough? guess i gotta start pushing myself and giving it my all. (: i don't want to look back and regret this! haha. (: anyways. i've no chemistry tuition for the next week and a half 'cause my tutor is uber busy. so i guess i'll be going to school to ask mrs selvam or mrs tay questions on chemistry. ooh! and brilliant news, i actually scored a 37/40 for one of the mcqs! -beams- yes, i am very very happy about that! haha. maybe there's hope after all. (:

went to see acjc yesterday! it was really nice. haha they've got a rooftop pool! (: nice nice. haha. but i suppose i'll go to cjc for the first three months 'cause my results aren't ideal (just yet!). ooh, and i heard SOMEONE'S 14 points got moderated to 10? -boils&fumes- unfair! why doesn't IJ do that for us? -sulks- haha. but then again, we've only ourselves to blame, no? ahh well. time to get back to the books! and make this shot at the exams count.

i'm suddenly really into chinese songs. and my love for a certain mr jay chou has been rekindled thanks to my brother. i'm in love with the song 'Jian Dan Ai'! -melts- it's such a sweet song, and it's so nicely put together. i swear, i'll marry the man who sings that song to me! hahaha. (; ooh and wilber (i wonder, does he curse his parents for giving him the name wilber? i know i would.) pan's 'wuha' is very lame, but i still like it. it's cute! (:

she smiled
at 1:28 PM

i don't care what ANYONE says. i love him! (: chris, he's mine! ahaha. (:

she smiled
at 12:39 PM

all pics here are courtesy of these two sweeties. (:
stephi and sammie!

she smiled
at 12:38 PM

roxy! the woman who's constantly stressing me out during every exam. (: but i still lubeth her!

she smiled
at 12:37 PM

as quoted on sam's photos: candice looking tortured!

she smiled
at 12:36 PM

funny pics time! -beams-
corinne! (:

she smiled
at 12:35 PM

tell me, how can ANYONE not like this adorable teacher of IJ's?
jo teo, we lubeth you! (:

she smiled
at 12:33 PM

i really didn't like her at ALL.
but i suppose now, ms teo isn't too bad after all. (:

she smiled
at 12:32 PM

4/9's favourite literature teacher! (:
we love you, mrs alex!

she smiled
at 12:30 PM

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

sam and me! (:
i think we were the two of the veryvery few that that cried during the retreat. hahaha. (:

she smiled
at 11:40 AM

she drove a long way through the night,
through an urban neighbourhood.
she left her mother in a fight
for a dream misunderstood.
and her friends, they talk on corners,
they could never comprehend.

but there was always something different
in the way she held her stare.
and the pictures that she painted
were of glamour and of flair.
and her boyfriend, though he loved her,
knew he couldn't quite fulfill.
he could never meet her there...

she's never gonna be like the one before.
she read it in the stars that there's something more.
no matter what it takes,
no matter how she breaks,
she'll be the queen of hollywood...

at home now, while the rest of the 4/niners are in school slogging it out. haha! ooh let's see what i've to do today:

1. one amaths paper.
2. two emaths revision tuition papers.
3. two chem mcq papers.
4. english comprehension.
5. complete anderson sec sch's physics paper.

i'm fed up with chem. i can hardly ever score above 30 for the stupid mcq sections! and i'm aiming for a one for the Os? -sighs- it's times like these that i think the Os are going to be a disaster for me. especially with amaths and social studies and all. anyhoos. i shan't dwell on unpleasant stuff! haha. hmmm, tomorrow's the last day of school! am definitely bringing my camera and at least 2 rolls of film. haha. -sniffs- wonder if anyone will cry! haha, i know i might. i'm just a sap! :( i hate saying goodbye.

alright, gotstago and get my ass down to work. that which doesn't kill us only makes us stronger, no? (:

girl you wanna come to my hotel,
baby i'll leave you my room key.
i'm feelin' the way you carry yourself girl.
and i wanna get with you 'cuz you's a cutie.
so if you wanna come to my hotel,
all you gotta do is holler at me.
'cuz we're having an after party,
checkin' out 6 in the mornin'.

she smiled
at 11:38 AM

this is one of the girls i'm going to miss so much. (: and don't bother asking what she's doing on the trash can, lulu's just like that. (:
and we all love her for it. (:

she smiled
at 1:10 AM

i don't know why, but suddenly i'm falling.
i was so blind - i was loving you all the time.
now i'm hopelessly addicted...
helplessly attracted...
chemically reacted...
naturally we acted.

haha, 'chemically reacted'? i guess The Corrs were stuck for words or something. (: today was an alright day, had our last ever formal english lesson with ms chow. which was quite sad now that i think about it. and mrs alex didn't come for class today! that was pretty sad too. now if she doesn't come to class on thurs (actually, i'm not sure if we have lit on thurs, but oh well) i'll cry! 'cause i'm not going to school tomorrow. decided to stay home and study! haha, praise me, quick! haha. anyways. i'll really miss mrs alex! and joteo. and ms yue. -sniffs- all the sec4s are getting emotional. haha, actually, maybe only some. i know NAGGY sammie is! hahaha. (:

oooh, i like the seating arrangement now even if it means that i'm stuck in the front of the class. at least i'm sitting with the bitches! minus carol and abish though, which kinda sucks. ohwells. ooh! and tasha was being wacko again today. haha! was irritating her throughout lessons with the 'hotel' song. it's SO stuck in my head. i love! hmmm, had a chat with erika today too. you should read her blog, she describes me as a microphone. -smiles sweetly- how lovely. just what i always wanted to be! ahaha, just kidding, erika, you know i love you! haha. (:

after that, natters and i went for coffee at starbucks and she taught me some amath! haha. much thanks to her. (: she's much nicer to listen to and a far better explainer than janny lee (whom i fell asleep listening to again this morning.). it's quite surprising that she hasn't really exploded at me yet. haha, i guess that means that she really doesn't give a flying rat's arse. haha! (:

not much to talk about today actually. haha, just felt like blogging and whining again. ooh, linn i'm turning into you! (: -huggs- will miss you so much next year. -sniffs.

i'm the reason why you can't get to sleep,
i'm the girl you never get just quite what you see.

get tangled up in me.

she smiled
at 12:05 AM

Monday, October 11, 2004

taken at 4/9's SAC 2004.
just some of the faces that i will miss dearly next year. :(

she smiled
at 11:09 PM

i'm not sure why my previous post doesn't turn up here but rather in my october archives? hmmm! strange strange. anyhoos. anyone care to guess the reason why i'm up so late? BECAUSE! of SAM! and ROXY! -tears hair- stress ahh! autograph books everywhere in class now. as angie puts it, "it's a post office!" haha. won't be updating frequently now, night study at the void deck's study corner with angie every day. :( ohwells. if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain. :)

she smiled
at 11:07 PM

Friday, October 08, 2004
i'm sorry that i was angry with you. guess i was just being petty and narrow-minded. hope you can forgive me? yeah, and hope that we can go back to being bitches again. haha.

today, school wasn't too bad. had triple physics with mrs tang and surprisingly, that was quite painless. (: she's not too bad a teacher, and i'm slowly starting to lose respect for mr tan. i mean, where IS he when his students are having their O-level exams? doesn't he know that we need him to be around and that he does have a duty to be here? i don't mean to judge, but yeah, i hope he has a good reason for 'deserting' us like this.

hmmm, the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. went home, changed and went out to study and met my dad. (: i've been missing him alot so it was nice to see him. anyways, after that met christine and the rest at novena and had dinner with her, erika, gen and ethel after that. chris was superbly hyper! then after that during mass i think her hyperness just died. haha. (: mmm, bonnie messaged me something after mass, and i was really touched by that. haha, see, it's hard to spoil and IJ friendship! was quite happy about that. but onto other things...

this issue has been bothering me for quite some time now, and i'm just so frustrated. spent the last half-hour crying. i know there are some people who think i'm immature, and that i'm overly emotional, especially in affairs of the heart, but please try to understand that i'm only 16. i'm a teenager, and while i'm not excusing myself from all my vulgar outbursts with such a lame statement, i do think that i should be cut some slack. i'm not an adult, please don't expect me to behave like one all the time. i try to be sensible and adultish, but sometimes it's just not convincing enough, and my 'real' age peeks through. just don't be so quick to write me off as being shallow and silly like any typical teenaged girl, because i'm really not. if you'd bother getting to know me, you'd see that. i know i sound like i'm rambling so yes, i'll get to the point:

i don't know why CYF is getting it's knickers in such a twist because of us. it's not like we planned it to happen, and it's not like we're shaming their name outside. i don't see why we're being so severely 'disciplined', but others seem to have no problems at all. i mean, is it really so wrong? i know YOU'VE talked to me about it and tried to stop me from thinking and feeling this way, but it's hard. sometimes when i've had a rotten day and want nothing more than a hug as soon as i see you, i can't have it until we're somewhere secluded where no one will see. sometimes when i'm happy and just want to reach over for your hand, i've to stop myself. sometimes when i miss you and want to see you, i can't, 'cause if not people will start talking. at times i think i'm very selfish, because i don't think i deserve this. i'm only 16, don't i deserve a hassle-free type of romancey-thing? but it's only two months more... i guess i'll be able to stick it out.

i don't know, maybe it's just the stress of the exams and it's affecting me, or maybe it's just everything that's so overwhelming. i don't know, and i'm tired to think. well, think i shall go get some shut-eye now.

i'm looking down now that it's over,
reflecting on all of my mistakes.
i thought i found the road to somewhere,
somewhere in His grace.

i cried out, 'heaven, save me!'
but I'm down to one last breath,
and with it let me say, let me say...
hold me now,
i'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking,
that maybe six feet ain't so far down.

she smiled
at 11:43 PM

Thursday, October 07, 2004

the cousins, erika and rox! (:

she smiled
at 10:20 PM

stupid cupid, you're a real mean guy.
i'd like to clip your wings so you can't fly.
i'm in love and it's a crying shame
and i know you're the one to blame!
hey, hey, set me free!
stupid cupid, stop picking on me!

begged off school today 'cause there was 3 periods of ss. haha, and my mum actually let me! i was all cranky when she woke me up and whined so badly that i didn't want to go that she let me off. haha! (: am i good or what? hahaha. anyways. studied at home in the morning, was trying to do my social studies but both times when i opened my book, i fell asleep in fifteen minutes. i swear! -makes face- i hate ss. stupid subject. haha alliteration! (:haha. so went to school, saw angie and she came up with the idea of studying at the study corners in our neighbourhood. haha that's quite a cool idea! after all, school's night study ends at 9 and there's still time to study before bed. hmmm, see how things go i suppose. mmmm, met shawn for tea (my tea, his lunch) and then back to school.

studied all by my lonesome self until erika came, and we moved to the library instead of staying in the canteen and being eaten alive by all the mozzies. yeeesh, that is ONE thing i won't miss -- this yucky thomson site! haha. anyway, did quite a bit of work, and now i'm doing my stupid statement of experiences and reflections. i can't think of shit. ): looks like it'll be another long night at the com. oooh, and i heard that tomorrow there's an amath test. urrrghs. that sucks. -sighs- ohwells. some things you just can't run away from.

someone's gotta do it,
why not you?

she smiled
at 10:18 PM

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

stolen off linn's blog. (:
lulu, cheryl, linn and jieying.

she smiled
at 10:50 PM

i thought i knew what love was,
what did i know?

those days are gone forever.
i should just let them go.

i'm supposed to be doing my trillions of social studies work, but i'm tempted by blogger. haha. mum and brother have gone to bed, and for some strange reason i feel so lonely out here by myself. haha. i swear, i'm pmsing. was quite snappish before recess today, got irritated at the slightest things. haha, well that could be because i hadn't eaten anything too, but yeah, i think the crimson wave is coming! haha. right, i shall not discuss female anatomy with you lot. (:

hmmm, chem today with mrs selvam was great! really enjoy being taught by her, she's funny and quite eccentric. and she explains things in depth too. but, she goes extremely slowly. in three periods today, we didn't even finish one mcq paper! -makes face- still, enjoyed myself so yes. that's what counts! haha. oooh. val (vera?) fam is getting on everyone's nerves -- and especially mine! she stands next to me and HOLLLERS and BELLOWS to the entire class. scream a little louder ms fam, i don't think the people in pulao ubin heard you! xP and she tells us the most insane things, like speed-reading your passages for english comprehensions. if you don't read it carefully, you won't know how to answer for crying out loud! urrghs. she just irks me. -frowns-

ooh, read yilin's blog. hahaha she's so cute.
il miss the freedom we have in ij.
how we can jst shout across the room "WHO HAS PAD!"
thats sth u can nv do in a mix sch.
and how we can come to sch with our hair all messed up, looking like a deranged chicken and no one really cares.

hahaha. i'm going to miss her so much. why do you have to go to thailand?! -sniffs- and y'know, she hardly talks to me very more. which is very sad, because i don't get to listen to good gossip anymore. -pouts- hahaha. (: love you loads girl.

and alyssa's msn nick caught my eye just now:
Algebra was easy for the Romans because 'X' was always ten.

(: -sighs- where are these two classmates of mine going to go? what's going to become of their lives after ij? what's going to happen to mine? i don't know about anyone else, but i'm thinking about it often. so yeah, it's back to the i-don't-wanna-leave-school thingy again! i'm just so full of joy right? hahaha. still, as much as i love chij and don't ever want to leave, i won't go to cjc because of that. i know that cj will be a lot like ij, and that i'll enjoy myself tremendously there, but i don't want to be in an environment similar to ij's for the next two years. not that i don't like i's atmosphere, but rather i wanna expose myself to the environments of other schools that's enormously different. so that i can learn to adapt to new places and new people, and so that when i enter university i won't get such a huge culture shock. the world out there isn't always as beautiful as we make it out to be, and catholic schools have a way of masking that. haha, i don't know why. THIS is my reason for going to acjc. talked with my mother and tutor (ex acjc student) and decided that once my results slip comes in, i'm going to see the principal and appeal to get in. might be hard, but maybe i'd get in if i promise to do drama? haha, my tutor said i had flair!! wooahh. that's the biggest compliment (and only one) he's ever paid me. hahaha.

what a huge chunk of words. haha, is anyone out there going to bother to read the entire thing? hahaha. everyone's planning for their futures now, deciding what jc or poly, what courses, what transport and where to end up. it's all so ambiguous, really. right now, you can FEEL the o-levels coming, you can FEEL that the inevitable goodbye is near, and yet school is still merry and filled with happiness. it doesn't feel like my last days in a wonderful secondary school. haha, y'know what? i think i'm just a bit insane. ((:

so, where will YOU be in ten years?

she smiled
at 10:24 PM

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

had a great talk with mysweetie* today. (: iloveyou!

she smiled
at 10:31 PM

coincidences are small miracles in which God prefers to be anonymous.

school was fine today, had amath/emath, lit/english. haha, english was FUN! for once. haha, 'cause stephi and i were clowning around while writing our functional writing. haha, we wrote about how our 60-year-old grandfather is engaged to be married, is planning to get married in the field in our estate and how our dog bobo is a great dane who has fallen in love! don't even ask. we were very bored. (: oooh. and lit was fun too, 'cause we were all sitting around bitching about Singapore Idols (namely lamenting how Jessea got kicked out, how Jerry truly sucks and how Daphne looks like a man in drag.) and even mrs alex was talking about it! haha, she's the reason why lit this year has been loads of fun. she digresses so much, she really makes learning lit less painful. (: i'm going to miss her a lot.

anyways. everyone's talking about which jc to go to these days. some of the more fortunate ones in class *coughnatcough* and *coughlysscough* get to choose whichever ones they want, owing to their great prelim scores, while the rest of us are limited in our choices or can't apply for jc at all. well, i guess we've just gotta see how things turn out? and to those who failed to get into a jc thus far, it's not the end. the beeeg test comes in a month! and we've got the power to make it happen, be it a 6-point aggregate or an L1R4 good enough to get into a good poly. (: i sound so brenda wan-ish now right! hahaha. oooh dear. (;

triple chem periods tomorrow. with mrs selvam 'cause tym kicked us out of her class. she ONLY takes a1s and a2s. -makes face-

i'm the one who wants to be with you.
deep inside i hope you feel it too.
waiting on a line of greens and blues,
just to be the next to be with you.

she smiled
at 10:29 PM

Monday, October 04, 2004

curiosity killed the cat, eh? -beams- //too cute for words// (;

she smiled
at 4:05 PM

my darling kittens. (: well, they're cats now but yes. they're adorable! x)

she smiled
at 4:04 PM

how come yesterday i could open blogger but today i can't? urrghs. computers, who needs them! haha. xP hmmmm, today school was just tiring. don't feel like i accomplished anything much. had geog, ss (i fell asleep listening to the teacher who's, incidentally, a WHOLE lot better than elt anytime!) english (where evon fell asleep and got ms chow pissed) and chemistry (where 24 of us got sent outside because we didn't bring our worksheets.

ineffective, yes?

should have just stayed home and slept man! ): ohwells. anyways, gotta run. going back to school for night study with chris and erika.(: laters!

she smiled
at 4:00 PM

Sunday, October 03, 2004
i hope this shows! ooh, i can finally blog here again. yayers! (: have linked my pinkstilettos to this blog, it's where i've been blogging for the past month or so 'cause blogger was throwing a tantrum. anyways, gotstago already. today's post is in the other one. (:

Grant me a quiet heart, before the examination starts.
Teach me to use my leisure hours, to reinvigorate my powers.
My mind from day-dreams liberate, give me the will to concentrate.
From all distractions set me free, that in my studies I may be.
A student with this sole intent, to make my work a sacrament.
From my faint heart in love expel, all failures, fears that therein dwell.
And from my pillows drive away, all dark forebodings of the day.
Help me in faith to rest so deep, that I may have untroubled sleep.
While notes and lessons I prepare, may I not lose my zest for prayer.
And may I not forget to look, for daily guidance in Thy Book.
In quietness, confidence and peace, may I have swift and sure release.
From needless fears and apprehension, from outward strain and inward tension.
May I ever grateful be, to all who offer prayers for me.
While for myself I intercede, for all other students too I plead.
So may examinations find, each one alert in heart and mind.
Thus inward joy and peace possessing, exams will prove a source of blessings.

she smiled
at 9:51 PM

let's start with the basics. (: i love them all! haha.
tricia yeo, mathilda, bonnie, val, kelly, inka, tricia tan and me.
i'm going to miss all of you. ):

she smiled
at 9:08 PM

stolen off corinne!
i'm gonna post all my photos here, but most of mine have been royally screwed by mypicgallery (which i can't access for some reason, so thank YOU darren for saving them all for me! (:

she smiled
at 8:02 PM

Friday, October 01, 2004

at marie's barbeque! marie, me, val and stephi. :)

she smiled
at 10:51 PM

an inspirational pic for all sec4s.

she smiled
at 10:48 PM

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