#vanessa;
the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

240788-->leo;
ex-IJTP.4/nine2004;
cjc.1T05;
swimmer; drama mama; councillor;
laugh_out_loud247[at]hotmail[dot]com;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
pinkstilettos;
temporary insanity;
guestbook;
poetry;


angels`
-friends

4/nine.
chij.
alyssa.
angie.
benjamin.
bernie.
bert.
brendan.
carol.
carol n.
charles.
cheryl.
chris.
corinne.
dalun.
darren.
elsa.
erika.
gen.
joachim.
jolene.
judette.
kimberly.
lester.
nat.
qibing.
roxy.
sam.
sean.
seb.
sheryl.
stephi.

-snaps
[Carolling]
[Dinner&Dance]
[CJC]
[Chinese New Year]
[Poetry]
[Misc]
[Sentosa]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

-thanks
blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

-memories
July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;

layoutandimages[by]q|en

Thursday, May 27, 2004
that girl was a one-time teenage drama queen!
a hacked-up everyday wannabe!
but she'll have changed her destiny.
now she's a somebody.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNNY! hahaha my baby! happy sweet 16! you take care of yourself and remember i love you lots yeahs. *hugs!* here if you need me. x) oh and hope you liked the present? haha.

todayy! had quite an alright day i guess. had chinese intensive revision for the first part of the morning in the freezing AVA but couldn't really concentrate, so it wasn't as productive. gotta study more later i suppose? mmmm. then left early and had recess before going to the hall to watch a few sec2s and 1s throw each other about the room and tackle each other to the mats. hahaha quite entertaining! especially when corinne sam roxanne and kyna (?) took on candice and helena! hahaha super fun to watch. whenever candice moved towards them, corinne would automatically sit down! hahaha. x)

mmmm! then went to cut cake! haha. so darn yummmmy! hahaha. headed back to class and shireen and i caught a veryveryveryvery cute photo! haha qibing playing with her pink bouncy sweet thingy. haha cute! xP hmmm. chem practical wasn't too bad. at least there's no titration! haha. ohh and did i mention i'm dead for the parent-teacher dialogue thingamajig? my mum has been "invited" to talk to 4 of my teachers. gosh. i'm just going to hide at home while they bitch about me to her. meep! scary stuff man.

thinking of going to pierce my ears again after chinese Os. haha my mum will kill me (if i'm not already dead by saturday night) but hey, it's worth it man! i don't know why, but i like piercings. as in, not that i'm obsessed with them, but i guess i'm just intrigued. hahaha does that make sense?! lol! hmmm. this holiday is going to be one hell of a busy one, there's so much work to do! for every subject there's at least one test paper to do. oh! and for those who failed amaths (or gotten anything below a C6), there's an 'exam' on 30th june and for 9 weeks after! so that's 10 papers!! and even one on my birthday? sometimes i really want to shoot mr tan.

mmmmm. ohh! this song rocks! yuwen and i are both totally into drama and acting and all. haha only found out recently at tuition! haha. so we've to watch 'confessions of a teenage drama queen' together! hahaha. x) and this song is from the movie, by lindsay lohan. loving it! x)

There was a girl I knew who always wanted to
Be the one to stand out from the crowd
Always believed that she was gonna live her dreams
That what went down was gonna come around
For all the doubters, non-believers
The cynical that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize...
That girl was a one-time teenage drama queen!
A hacked-up everyday wannabe!
But she'll have changed her destiny,
Now she's a somebody!
That girl was a wild child dreamer!
but she'll find herself,
'Cuz she believes in nothing else!
And was a don't look back and you won't believe
That girl was me!
Armed with an attitude that she knows how to use
She's gonna get there any way she can
Now she knows what she wants, no one's gonna stop her
Nothings ever gonna hold her back.
For all the doubters, non-believers
The cynical that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll know that you were wrong!
Who would know?
That girl was a one-time teenage drama queen
A hacked-up everyday wannabe
But she'll have changed her destiny
Now she's a somebody
That girl was a wild child dreamer!
but she'll find herself,
'Cuz she believes in nothing else!
And was a don't look back and you won't believe
That girl was me!
Life is a work of art,
You gotta paint it colourful!
You can make it anything you want!
Don't ever stick to any rules!
You don't need a high IQ
To succeed in what you do.
You just gotta have no doubt.
Just believe in yourself!

Doubters, non-believers
Once were her dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize...
That girl was a one-time teenage drama queen!
A hacked-up everyday wannabe!
But she'll have changed her destiny,
Now she's a somebody!
That girl was a wild child dreamer!
but she'll find herself,
'Cuz she believes in nothing else!
And was a don't look back and you won't believe
That girl was me!


("that girl", lindsay lohan)

she smiled
at 6:20 PM


Tuesday, May 25, 2004
U-G-L-Y! you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY! hey, hey, you UGLY!


-big smile- today was awesomest! much much better than yesterday which is a very good thing. mum dropped me off at toa payoh early this morning so carol's dad could give me, wyna and qibing a lift to kallang netball centre for our netball carnival! gosh, was already crowded by the time we got there.

4/9 DID FREAKING WELL. WE ROCK! x)

a bit disappointing that we didn't win, since we practised sooo hard and all, but at least we lost to 4/6 and not 4/1. hahaha s'qutie mean to say this, but all of us were saying that any class could beat us except 4/1! haha 'cause apparently, they're always saying they HAVE to beat 4/9 since we beat them for the International Friendship Day decorations and stuff. hmmmm! haha is it just my imagination or are we getting a bit too competitive? hahaha. but 4/6 played really well. i only played a couple of times in the 2nd half of the games, so all the credit goes to the players! candice, wyna, alyssa, qibing, val, jess, marie! you guys are DA BOMB! hahaha. and everyone was cheering and cheering! see, 4/9 is so bonded! haha. x) while we didn't do THAT well or THAT bad, i guess all of us just had a lot of fun and just enjoyed the experience? haha that's how i feel anyway! x) took lotsa lotsa pics too. yayers! xP

went to KFC after the whole thingy with a whole bunch of people, 12 of us in total? hmmm let's see. jieying, frances, lulu, roxy, sam, alyssa, corinne, cheryl, qibing, carol and marie. wooot! so many. (hahaha by the way, i've no idea what wooot means, got it off jo i think. and plus i like making non-sensical words. or noises haha. like meep! and poots! and bloosh! haha. right, let's mosey on along now...) yupps! had lunch and then went for a very looooooong walk to kallang mrt, stopping every now and then to take pictures, so much so we looked like tourists! haha. but it was fun, if not very sane. haha then took the mrt back home.

gosh. my face is burnt. there's a collar or redness around my neck. my thighs are red and my arms are red and greyish for the elbows down. oh no. freak! mmmmm. amaths tuition later. wheeeee.

nothing you can say can tear us away from 4/9! (4/9!)
nothing you can do, 'cos i'm stuck like glue to 4/9! (4/9!)
i'm sticking to 4/9 like a stamp to a letter,
like birds of a feather, we STICK TOGETHER!
i'll tell you from the start, we can't be torn apart from 4/9!
4/9!
4/9!!!




funk.

she smiled
at 5:11 PM


Monday, May 24, 2004
you know the feeling you get when you catch your fingers between the door or in a drawer or something, and it hurts so badly that it brings tears to your eyes? and you know it's terribly silly and stupid but you could honestly cry if you wanted to?

funnily enough, that's how i'm feeling now. it's been an awful day. yupps.

things that are going wrong today:
1. i deleted ALL the messages in my phone accidentaly.
2. i can't remember how to spell accidentally. (sp?)
3. my shooting is so bloody bad.
4. the netball thingamajig is tomorrow.
5. i went home late.
6. my brother ate my lunch.
7. chinese Os are in seven days.
8. i'm not even halfway done with chinese revision for said Os.
9. my results S.U.C.K majorly.
10. the (inevitable) parent-teacher dialogue is on saturday.
11. people aren't who you think they are.
12. i haven't finished my chem tuition homework.
13. chem tuition is in two hours.
14. i can't be bothered to do my chem tuition homework.
15. my computer is still screwed up.

whatever. catch ya on the flip-side.

and everyday is the worst day ever.

she smiled
at 5:48 PM


Sunday, May 23, 2004
did you think that i was gonna give it up to you, this time?
did you think that there was something i was gonna do then cry?
don't try to tell me what to do, don't try to tell me what to say.
you're better of that way.


friday
finally allowed back at school? haha. got back some papers and they're really not good. -sighs- i don't know why, but every time i tell myself i've really got to work harder the next time, but when the next time comes i'm just screwing it up all over again. gosh. i hope it isn't like that during prelims. if i got 20++ for prelims, i'd cry mann. -frowns- someone motivate me! quick! hmmmm. english was quite disappointing since i only managed a B3 when i was aiming for an A2 and above. emaths! haha. that's about the only thing i'm glad for since i got an A2 for that. physics -- another disappointment. wanted a B and above, but i got a lousy C5. meep. and amaths... well. f9? haha. what, were you expecting something else, vanessa? haha. sooo. it's chemistry, literature, geography (so far my SS is a C average) on monday. oooh joy. haha guess my holidays will be one of constant studying (hahaha. you don't *really* believe that, do you?) NATTERS! HELP! =/

played netball today after a veryveryveryvery long while. haha candice is quite a good teacher. she'd correct us and stuff and show us how to play. well, i'm not playing for the carnival on tuesday though. only a reserve since i didn't go to school on wednesday and thursday and missed quite a bit. oh well! haha. i'm sure we'll do FINE! -cheers!- haha.

saturday.
the ij walkathon! the whole lot of us actually walked 8km from chijmes at victoria street to our currently-building school at toa payoh to our holding school at thomson. oms we were dying! haha. there were actually only three of us in the group since chris fractured her foot and tasha didn't show. oh well. anyway! walked til we nearly died. abish was quite close to throwing up i think? so it was a good thing that we were quite near school by that time. and nat and i were just totally beat. but we were the first 4/niners to reach school! -cheers!- yay! hahaha cheap thrill, eh? haha. hmmmm. after a while, the rest of our class came and a few of us ended up playing monkey. was quite fun! haha. then they had the prize-giving ceremony and it started raining and val, judette and i were completely soaked and then we went to novena to eat and then i left early to go home to eat somemore (you pig, vanessa!) and then i went for physics tuition half and hour late and i swear that wasn't my fault and then for dinner then mass. boring day actually, minus the walkathon.

ohh and i broke my specs! oms! i'm completely screwed.

today!
no tuition todayyyyy! -screams- hahaha. it's really quite sad when the only joys you have in your life is when your emath tutor's fallen sick and tuition is cancelled. hahaha well okay, not entirely true, but close! hmmmm. went to thomson for lunch and to fix my stupid specs. now i'm wearing my old ones and i look like a complete NERD! -makes face- yucks. haha oh well. no chem tuition today, but it's been pushed to tomorrow so now my total tuition-days-per-week count stands at 5. sat-phys. sun-emaths. mon-chem. tues-amath. wed-chem. -makes face!- this is seriously UNFUN. mmmm. been studying chinese the whole day. all of you better be proud of me! this takes a great deal of self-control okay. especially when i'm on my bed and no one's 'supervising' me. hahaha. x)

have i mentioned my mum's so -tears hair out- irritating? yesh. we're currently not on speaking terms because i accumulated $7+ of fines on my library card. -eyes widen- THAT'S THE REASON WHY SHE WAS SCOLDING AND SCOLDING AND SCOLDING ALL THE WAY HOME? hello, give me a break!

No, I won't let go, know what we can be.
I won't watch my life crashing down on me.
Guess I had it all right there before my eyes.
Girl I'm sorry now, you were the last thing on my mind.


she smiled
at 7:43 PM


Thursday, May 20, 2004
somewhere down this road, i know someone's waiting. years of dreams can't be wrong. arms will open wide, i will be safe and wanted. finally home, where i belong.

i wanna be in school. it's dead boring here. nothing to do. AT ALL. except study stupid chinese. -makes face- ARGHHH.

:(

she smiled
at 11:36 AM


Wednesday, May 19, 2004
IMPORTANT: my phone's screwed, so don't message me! anything urgent or anything like that, please call my home number! will let you guys know when i'll get it back. thanks lots!

stayed home today and studied chinese. tomorrow i'm staying home too! hahaha sometimes my mother can be a human too. -beams- but i still have to study stupid chinese. yucks.

God must hate me, curse me for eternity! God must hate me, maybe you should pray for me! i'm breaking down and you can't save me! I'm stuck in Hell and i wanna go HOME.


she smiled
at 5:09 PM


Tuesday, May 18, 2004
("All My Life" by KC and Jojo)
And all my life, I've prayed for someone like you.
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you.
All my life, I've prayed for someone like you.
And I hope that you feel the same way too.
Yes, I pray that you do love me too.
I said you're all that I'm thinkin' of... baby.
You're all that I ever known.
When you smile, on your face all I see is a glow.
You picked me up when I was down.
And I hope that you feel the same way too.
Yes, I pray that you do love me too...

("Still on Your Side" by BBMak)
Don't you know that I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through?
I'm still on your side.
Any time day or night,
Don't care if it's wrong or right.
I'm still on your side...

("2 Steps Behind" by Def Leppard)
Whatever you do, I'll be two steps behind you.
Wherever you go, and I'll be there to remind you,
that it only takes a minute of your precious time,
to turn around and I'll be two steps behind.


she smiled
at 5:29 PM


the smile on your face lets me know that you need me.
there's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me.
the touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever i fall.
you say it best, when you say nothing at all.


-beams- today was quite nice actually. :) haha. had hymn singing practice with... *drumroll* mrs drysdale! gosh. i've never even been taught by her, but i've always looked forward to her singing practices just 'cause she's personable and just makes everyone laugh. and to see her there today, singing with us all those songs and stuff... it made me feel like crying! haha i don't know what's wrong with me these days. the tiniest things can make me want to start bawling my eyes out. haha. it's just that it seems as if everything's moving so fast. all of a sudden i'm sec4. i'm no more in lower sec, let alone primary school. and it kinda sucks 'cause ij has always been a huge part of my life. heck, school has always been a big part of any kid's life. so to leave it, is a little like leaving a toy in a foreign country when you go on a holiday. you miss it and wish for it a lot, but you know you can't get it back. yeahh. haha a bit saddening, isn't it? =/

haha. anyway! am thinking about ponning school tomorrow. every morning now there's "intensive mother tongue revision" and i really could do without it! plus all the teachers' deranged activities. oh! they're going to have some inter-class netball competition with cheerleading and banner-painting competitions too. WHY CAN'T THEY SIMPLY LEAVE US ALONE?? it's after exams! nobody wants to WORK! -sulks- oh, but today we watched some short films. didn't get most of them, but they were nice! hahaha. and some were pretty funny. BUT STILL. i'd be ten times happier if they just left us alone in class to talktalktalk. -scowls-

until you're back here baby.miss you, want you, need you so.
until you're back here baby...
there's a feeling inside i want you to know.
you are the one, and i can't let you go.


she smiled
at 5:05 PM


Sunday, May 16, 2004
Random Things i'm Thankful For.
1. that i live in Singapore and even though it's strait-laced and all grandma-y-ly puritanical, we're still one of the safest countries in the world. (yes, i'm feeling very generous now. haha.)
2. that there's no war happening around us.
3. that my friends are (relatively) happy people and not altogether plagued by poverty/disease/traumatic experiences.
4. that my family is still (relatively) alright.
5. that life in general is quite alright.
6. that there's always God to turn to when things are not.
7. the double mushroom swiss at BK.
8. my phone!
9. the internet! God bless Bill Gates and whoever!
10. yummmmy roasted greasy oily ba-kwa!
11. tony sun!
12. jay chou!
13. black-eyed peas!
14. the radio dammit! x)
15. hang ten and giordano! =)
16. calvin klein scents!
17. the beach even if i haven't been there for a damn long while! *hinthint*
18. jason hahn in EightDays mag.
19. studying sessions that turn into gossip sessions with friends.
20. **censored!**

Random Things I'm NOT Thankful For.
1. having to have my period for forty damn years.
2. amath + janny lee.
3. chemistry.
4. rules and regulations at times.
5. the bits of vegetables in burgers.
6. the pickles in burgers.
7. the humid weather in Singapore.
8. descrimination + prejudice.
9. crying +wailing + shrieking babies.
10. boring sermons. (haha is that a sin?)
11. computer viruses! *kickscom*
12. animal + child abuse. (get a life, you assholes!)
13. stifling air-con-less assemblies in the hall.
14. having to sing the majulah and say the pledge every freaking morning.
15. lagging computers.
16. being almost-but-not-quite-sixteen.
17. O-levels.
18. not having a digicammmmmmmmmm! *whines*
19. that there's no BK at junction eight.
20. that there's no direct bus home from school. -sulks-


places/things i'd rather be/be doing right now.(written on CHIJ Sec4 Express Pure Chemistry Mid-Year 2004 Section A MCQ paper:)
1. sleeping in my bed.
2. blogging on my com.
3. blogging on seb's laptop! funnnn! x)
4. in town shopping.
5. at the beach tanning.
6. listening to my cds.
7. getting my ears pierced.
8. getting my naval pierced.
9. getting my nose pierced.
10. getting a tatt on my hip.
11. reading my jill mansell book.
12. working (read: earning shopping money!) at mos.
13. sleepingsleepingsleeping.
14. drinking the english breakfast tea at coffee club.
15. playing with my darlings.
16. seeing my dad.
17. playing with my phone.
18. painting my toenails and cutting my fingernails.
19. making my sweet16 present! (haha.)
20. NOT taking a chemistry exam knowing i'm going to fail.


*mat rocks*

she smiled
at 2:14 PM


i'm a bitch, i'm a lover. i'm a child, i'm a mother.
i'm a sinner, i'm a saint.
i will not be ashamed.


mmmm. it's a sunday! and there's no school tomorrow! -dances around the room- can't get any better than that. but i've still got chemistry tuition later. -grumbles- so irritating. can't she give me at least a day off or something! -sulks- unfair. hahaha i'm a brat, yes i know.

anyway! went out with my dad yesterday. how come every time we go out together we always end up at his office? i mean, i know he's a busy guy and that he's hardworking and very dilligent and all, but can't he like, set aside just a few hours for one saturday to spend with my bro and me? i don't want to be seen as thoughtless or selfish, but it's just a strange feeling when he's always dropping by the office and not like bringing us out and doing fun stuff. hahaha. okay i guess i probably don't make much sense. never mind! :) hmmm. so anyway, we went to see one of my uncles, 'cause we haven't seen him in 5 years. haha and he's so heeep! his phone has a camera! x)

after that, we bought lunch for jill and mel and then went over to their house to eat. my dad kept feeding duchess! and actually, she's a pretty cute dog. huge, but quite adorable. hahaha. anyway! watched a bit of 'what a girl wants' and then headed back. left for ada's party after that! gosh, the chalet was niceee! and the food was great too. but i felt a bit sad at one point, seeing all her relatives and little cousins there. hahaha okay i think the current blood loss is affecting my mind. x) ohh! and we were playing silly games! haha this number game that we played was damn fun. hahaha lazy to explain but shawn's luck was rubbish! lol. mum came to fetch me a while later though. wish i coulda stayed longer! haha.

so anyway now it's a boring sunday afternoon. and this computer is completely screwed up. -makes face-

sometimes i wish people would try to understand. sometimes i wish that they could see the deeper meaning behind things. sometimes i wish they would love just a bit more, and hate just a bit less. sometimes my wishes don't come true. <--- HAHAHAHAHA. oms. something bitter i just came up with. oooh dear. xP

i wish that i could cry. fall upon my knees.
find a way to lie, about a home i'll never see.
it may sound absurd but won't you concede,
even heroes have the right to bleed...?


she smiled
at 2:13 PM


Friday, May 14, 2004
seven days and seven nights of thunder.
the water's rising and i'm slipping under.
i think i've fallen in love with the eighth world wonder.


IT'S OVER!!!


hahahahaha. no one has any idea how happy i am that it's all finally over. there is a god! haha. anyway! after the paper today (amaths. do not ask.) nat, carol, stephi, abish, julianne, erika, marie and me went down to town to watch TROY! overall, i'd have to say it was a pretty powerful movie. the actors were well-cast and really awesome! haha. and carol is now guuuuushhhhing over brad pitt's abs/thighs/arms/biceps/hands whatever. hahaha. i think the greatest characters were eric bana's "prince hector" and brad's "achilles". haha i was taking quotes with my phone! whoops! sorry, stephi! hahaha. in any case, it was a good show minus all the gory+bloody+fighting+dying scenes. i was hiding behind my bag okay. definitely NOT pg stuff. more like NC-16. -rolls eyes- our singapore censorship system is screwy! the NC-16 ones, they label RA and PG! -raises eyebrows-

anyway. on the way home, carol and i had a "talk". hahaha. carol, i guess i didn't say much during that time but i did think about it while going back: my priorities haven't changed. you guys are still as important to me as anyone ever was. boyfriends+lovers can change but it's your girlfriends that stay by your side all your life and i KNOW that! haha. carol, you bitches* will always be my special ones! hahaha. you're all practically my sisters! haha. so yeah, don't think that that'll change anytime soon ok? trust me on this one. x) *hugs* haha. oh, and right i'l take your advice on that other thingy you mentioned. -winks- x)

i bought that cute little bag i saw a week ago! it's so cute and just nice for putting a wallet and phone inside when i go out. -beams- happyyyy! oh, and a pair of shorts too. OH! and i saw the tube at taka. sorelytempted* hahaha. have i mentioned that nearly our entire school was at orchard today? hahaha. gen, jessica+eunice+cheryl wee that all caught troy with us. plus lots of our juniors all over.

-sighs happily- it's really over! x)

i do cherish you, from the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control.
i will, love you still, for the rest of my life. you don't have to think twice.
i've waited so long, to say this to you.
if you're asking do i love you this much?
baby, i do.


she smiled
at 5:51 PM


Thursday, May 13, 2004
if you say that you love me, more than anybody, than anyone's ever been loved before...
no matter how much you love me, baby i'll still love you,
baby i'll still love you more.


chemistry today. -sings- i don't want to talk about it...! haha. yes, that bad, thank you very much! xP anyway. thank goodness tomorrow is friday! finally a nice end to a semi-disastrous week. still have to study amaths later though. -sulks- x(

lalalala. i'm BORED. and this-kick!-stupid-kick!-com-kick!-fucking-kick!-SUCKS.

fuck what i said, it don't mean shit now.
fuck all the presents, might as well throw 'em out.
fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack.
fuck you, you ho. i don't want you back.


she smiled
at 1:26 PM


Wednesday, May 12, 2004
so i take it just a little bit. i hold my breath and count to ten. i'm waiting for a chance to let you in...


todaytodaytoday! geography's over! it's wednesday! tomorrow's thursday! the day after is FRIDAY! -screams-

30th April: English
6th May: Social Studies
10th May: Emaths and Literature
11th May: Physics
12th May: Geography

13th May: Chemistry
14th May: Amaths

6 down, 2 to go. -cheers!- haha. ohh but i think i'm pretty much finished for amaths. my differentiation is complete rubbish. i see words like 'tangent' 'normal' and 'gradient' and i'm automatically confused! -pouts- anyway. geog today was quite alright. didn't study AT ALL for it. haha. went back late yesterday after studying and had tuition so i went to bed early. THEN. i woke up at 4.45 today with every intention of studying (i swear i did!) but only managed to read one page. -sheepish- oh well. i thought my paper wasn't too badly done! haha. but i'm a biased source. OH MY SHIT. ss! oh, and did i happen to mention that my mother sounds like ELT when she speaks to someone? -makes face- irritating!

yesterday's physics wasn't too bad either. i wrote a lot of bull, but i hope mr tan can give me a bit of marks for that. it was well thought-out bull! x) hahaha. mmmmm! i can't wait for exams to be OVER. i wanna watch Van Helsing! but carol wants to go shopping now. maddd!

chem tuition later. yucks. and for the record, norton anti-virus is practically a virus in itself. DO NOT ASK.

we were 16 and feeling so right, sleeping all day, staying out all night...
if i could find you now, things would get better!
we could leave this town and run forever...


she smiled
at 3:48 PM


Monday, May 10, 2004
on this perfect day... tomorrow's gonna come too soon.

yeps, tomorrow will come too soon! i'm not done with my physics. well, okay, "not done" is stretching it. i haven't even started! so, yes. what am i doing online? answer: no motivation. -sighs- haha. i predict a repeat of last year's til-three-wake-at-five mugging spree again. -makes face- hmmmm. today's emaths and lit were alright in general. found the emaths paper pretty okay, but then again, the last time i found one okay i got 50++? haha. hope this isn't the case! and the lit one... well. it's damn stressful to sit next to rox! hahaha. gosh everytime i look up, she's written another paragraph. and in damn neat handwriting too? -shudders- haha. can get heart attack! and i've a feeling i wrote nonsensical rubbish. i found myself repeating myself OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER again. plus my hand was hurting like shit. haha. okay, enough!

has blogger changed or am i just imagining things?! oms! <--that means oh my shit haha. i'm trying to go off swearing! hahaha. anyway! after that, went for lunch then tuition then dinner and now i'm home. dreary existence!let me breathe, stay out of my fantasies! <--beyonce's+sean paul's 'baby boy'. loving it! have i mentioned i like michelle branch's breathe too? was thinking of it throughout the exams today. haha my mind's funny. it was on rerun! alritey. i'm bored.

:( >> :D

baby boy, you stay on my mind. baby boy, you are so damn fine! baby boy, won't you be mine? baby boy, let's consider laying down...


she smiled
at 6:28 PM


Sunday, May 09, 2004
well today. happy mothers' day to all mums! haha. hope my mum liked the books i bought her. ironically, it was my dad who gave me the money and said 'buy a little something for your mum...' so, technically, he gave her the two presents? yep, pretty stupid but, oh well. haha. anyway! had emaths tuition in the morning and ms millie kept us back an entire hour! yeeesh. and i think next week she'll yell at me 'cause i handed in a completely no-effort made test paper. but i couldn't help it, i was already about 40 minutes late. yikes! haha.

after that, my mum and bro came and we went for lunch and then a bit of shopping. haha we both bought a pair of shoes! oooh and i love mine. haha i hope someone is glad that i've no more ah-lian slippers! -raises eyebrow- haha. we didn't really do much, but it was a nice way to spend mothers' day i suppose. :) had chem tuition a while ago, and i'm quite pleased to say that i am slowly beginning to understand. granted not fast enough to be able to get a pass for this MY but i should be able to in Os la. -fingers crossed!- x)

anyway. found this song written in my S3 emaths textbook, desiree's 'gotta be'. damn nice and very meaningful. haha. can see why i liked it so much.

listen as your day unfolds.
challenge what the future holds.
try to keep your head up to the sky.
lovers they may cause you tears.
go ahead release your fears.
stand up and be counted.
don't be afraid to cry.
you gotta be bad, you gotta bold.
you gotta be wiser.
you gotta be hard, you gotta be tough.
you gotta be stronger.
you gotta be cool, you gotta be calm.
you gotta stay together.
all i know, all i know love will save the day.


haha i'm writing a lot today and putting a lot of lyrics up. haha. it's a poignant sunday. hmmm. emaths and literature exam tomorrow. best of luck to everyone! hope i can remember my stories haha. =/

seb; heyy, just read your blog. y'know what i said about how life's always gonna slap us around a bit? yeahh, sometimes we should slap life back. haha if that makes sense? anyway. you know i'm shit at giving advice, so the only thing i can say is that i'm but a call away. that song up there's going out to you, sebs! -hugs- here for you always yeah? haha. i think i've nagged at you enough about that. haha. -hugs!- takecare dear. and trust in Him.

in the heat of summer sunshine, i miss you, like nobody else.
in the heat of summer sunshine, i'll kiss you.
and nobody needs to know.


she smiled
at 7:37 PM


Friday, May 07, 2004
today's been quite an alright day, although i guess i didn't do a great lot of studying as i'd hoped. haha. anyway, talked to seb this morning and that's the reason why i have nice music to listen to now! haha. clay aiken hoobastank michelle branch five for fighting rock! thanks, music guru! haha. went down to toa payoh after that to meet carol and study. haha that girl bought about $30 worth of make-up?! hahaha. i'd die before i do that. anyway. went to ec macs to eat and study a bit, and seb came later (due to carol's insistence that eating alone will cause one to commit suicide. yes. go figure.)

anyway! headed down to church after that, where carol and i had a very loud and heated argument. hahaha. we made resolutions for each other, and she wrote 6 points, all to the effect of not being obsessed. that girl is insane! and she said i was insecure. am i? i'm still thinking about that, wondering whether it's true... haha but can someone as thickskinned as me feel insecure? hahaha. oh well. but thanks carol, for the hug. haha and your very valued opinions on how i should handle my lovelife, thank you very much. hahaha. xP

had physics tuition after that and now i'm home. i realised that i've got tuition every day til wednesday! tomorrow it'll be physics and amath. sunday it'll be chem and emath. monday it'll be physics again. tuesday it'll be amath again. wednesday it'll be chem again. oooooh. joy.

mmmmmm. eating eggy porridge now! yummmm! haha. x)

It's in the way that you move me,
and the way that you tease me,
the way that I want you tonight.
It's in the way that you hold me,
and the way that you know me.
when I can't find the right words to say...
You feel it in the way, you feel it in the way.


she smiled
at 6:39 PM


Thursday, May 06, 2004
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty.
He said no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever.
And he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave, would he cry?
And once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough.
As she walked away, tears streaming down her face, the boy grabbed her arm and said...

"You're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever, I need to be with you forever. And I wouldn't cry if you walked away, I'd die..."

*sniffs!*

she smiled
at 7:57 PM


this is an outrage! my tube is GONE! now it's at taka and i'll be so damned if i have to travel so far just to get the damn thing. -scowls- sucky. so anyway, here's my life for the next week.

tomorrow: studying
saturday: trng + amaths remedial+ phys tuition
monday: emaths + lit
tuesday: physs
wednesday: geog
thursday: chem
friday: amaths... OVER!



What month should you have been born in?
Made by Erin @ Bored Now

You're active and dynamic. But hasty and you tend to regret things later. You love attention and are friendly. You're brave, fearless and adventurous. You're loving and caring, yet aggressive and emotional.

-frowns- s'not me!

I'm sorry that I hurt you.
It's something I must live with everyday.
And all the pain I put you through,
I wish that I could take it all away.
And be the one who catches all your tears.
That's why i need you to hear...

I've found a reason for me.
To change who I used to be.
A reason to start over new...
and the reason is you.


she smiled
at 7:37 PM


social studies paper today. was quite alright, considering i didn't study that hard for it. haha and switzerfreakingland didn't come out, so on my paper there's this huge "AMEN" there. :) after the paper, val linn binny candice and me went to novena to eat! yaY. haha then bummed around and now i'm home.

mmmm. going down to church to meet carol wyna and val to study now since i can never get any proper studying done at home. to all who've signed my guestbook, thanks so much and i'll reply if i can soon alright. til then, everyone take care and don't stress! it's only mys!

lotsa love,
van.

she smiled
at 2:05 PM


Wednesday, May 05, 2004
sitting in school now! the first time i've blogged sice april fools' day. gosh, it feels good to be connected again! oh, and i'm stressed out of my mind. stupid mid-years. okay we've got to go down for assembly. laterrrs!

she smiled
at 7:14 AM


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