the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Sunday, February 08, 2004
what would you do if my heart was torn in two?

-big smile- camp was awesome! on thursday, before camp, sam and i were talking online and we were both saying how we hoped our class would share and open up about things and that hopefully it would be an extremely special and meaningful camp to us. and it WAS! gosh. it's probably the best camp i've ever had in my entire life so far. x) let me start frm the beginning haha.

went to school yesterday in our class t-shirt and berms (along with 4/5) and after a short briefing from ms tan, we were on our way. arrived at CHIJ Bukit Timah Primary and it was such a picturesque(sp?) place! hahaha like a little cottage. found out mrs lewis teaches there too, though she never taught me. haha i just used to look after her classes. anyway, i had my apprehensions of course. hahaha. the mattresses are NOT mattresses. sleeping on the floor would probably be more comfortable! haha i'm exaggerating, but still. (AND THEY STINK!!!) the sides of the mattress are hardened? they're rock solid mann. haha. and the pillows appeared to be made of little balls of separate cotton wool. LUMPY! hahaha. i think the school should invest in a few newer mattresses and pillows. haha. but in the end we didn't really sleep that much so it was fine.

the first session was basically about rules and regulations, i think. don't really remember much, but there were ice-breaker games that were really funny! =) after that i think was the much more serious sessions. the picture language thingy >> omg. the sharing session was just so powerful. what we had to do was to look at pictures scattered on the floor and pick one that we can relate to and that describes our present or past life. and the things everyone said... well, at first it wasn't really sad or anything... just normal. then it started getting sad, and sadder and sadder still. haha rachel was the first to cry, then before i knew it, val was crying, jieying, frances, sam, corinne. everyone on my side was crying. then it was this one girl's turn (i don't want to mention her name.) and the things she said about her problems with her family... i just started crying there and then. i mean, i never thought that i would cry in front of so many people. i think that's the first time that's ever happened to me, to lose it in front of so many others. it's just that when you can relate to that person's problems with memories of your own that caused you sadness, you automatically feel sad, y'know?

and what made that session so precious was that everything they were sharing came from the heart, and willingly, and i never even knew that so many people in class are going through the same things, and feel the same pain and sadness that i feel sometimes. and for once i think the facade that some of us where was finally taken off, if only for a while. so yeah. i think during that session what we learnt was that we're never alone. if we'd just open up and talk a little bit, there's always some out there who could help in so many different ways.

anyway, after that we had lunch which was great. haha the food was always fantastic 'cause i was always hungry. more sessions and stuff after lunch which were fun too, though i'm not sure i can remember most of it now. oh, we had to make these envelopes with our names on it and like, write little messages to our friends and stuff and put them into their envelopes! haha that was fun and the messages were all sweet and so nice. haha we decided as a class we're going to continue to put our envelopes up and write more little notes to everyone. =) Mass after that was BEAUTIFUL. haha so we sang out of tune, and it didn't flow very well, and we actually sang the "Alleluia" before the Responsorial Psalm but hey, we're only kids right? haha. it was beautiful in the sense that EVERYONE sang, and it just sounded so perfect. and the 'peace-be-with-you' part was naturally a lot more livelier than ever. hahaha. plus the guitarists, jo, jessica and wyna played beautifully and yeah. it was lovely! haha but i love the dedication song the most! (haha the one i suggested! -beams-) "More than Words"!! jessica's playing was SUPERB! hahaha. and all of us were in a circle singing. -tears- haha. after we finished that song, someone wanted to sing "Last Kiss" so we started singing that! and we're so full of it, y'know! when we didn't know the words we just went "da-da-da-da-da-da!" all the way through. LOL. then we started with the "Dip-Dip" song again. we're all mad! x) it was a blast. xD

games! games was funfunfunfunfunfun. two thumbs up to the games comm! you guys did a fab job. =) haha the games were interesting! the hello game and stuff. hahaha don't feel like elaborating. x) SO. after the games, all of us went to wash up and start writing our little loveletters to each other haha. managed to be one of the first to bathe. haha. right so after writing to about 20 people (for those i didn't, next week yeah!) yilin and candice wanted to play truth-or-dare, one thing i was so looking forward to! haha. don't know what it is with girls and truth-or-dare. x) anyway, didn't dare try the dares 'cause shireen and candice and qibing and cheryl and all were playing and i'm pretty certain that any dares given from them would require some point of self-humiliation. haha. so i chose the easier way to humiliate myself by choosing truth. riiiiight. thanks yilin! (haha and no, i'm not angry, this is just for fun haha.) hahaha anyway. soon got tired of truth-or-dare and that's when the confessions started. haha it was all just questions and then we'd go in a circle answering it. mmmm think there were about 10-13 of us there huddled in a circle. haha. omg. of all the things we were talking about, we were going on and on and on and on about sex in a nunnery. -snorts- irony! hahahaha. but it was really cool to talk about stuff (not sex!) and it kinda cleared my head a little. haha. =) don't think i can mention the things we spent a good two hours gabbering away about here, but jiyeing, wyna, val, qibing, carol, shireen, candice, cheryl, yilin and all know la. x) but i feel crappy that i didn't get to spend the night yakking with the bitchfest family (which was not really together since chris was with shireen and erika and carol was with me) about their Confucius sayings. hahaha you have to listen to them! they're hiliarious! (like: Confucius says "Man who marries Jo shall not be f**ked." 'cause jo's grumpy at night and only perky in the morning! haha lame shits! lol. xD )

didn't even sleep in the bed that i'd prepared for myself haha. the whole lot of us slept together i think? woke up this morning (6.30! UNGODLY!) next to jieying! haha i had tried to pull her blanket over in the middle of the night 'cause i was cold. haha everyone was bloody freezing! anyway was probably one of the last to wake up! hahaha. and i didn't even help with the cleaning up and all 'cause i was outside walking with a few others taking a breather. whoooops. sorry 'bout that! -embarrassed- so after everything was cleared up, we played some games i think. haha my thoughts might be a little jumbled and confused 'cause i didn't bring anything to write down what happened. anyway, shared more, yakked a little and cleared up and said our goodbyes in the form of the "Shalom" song that jo and i came up with. x) hahaha and then after that, the WHOLE CLASS (well not whole, some had to go home. -grumbles- myself included.) went to town to have lunch! hahah that must've been quite a sight, all 20+ of them going to town just to eat. lol! x) see, this is class unity mann. -beams- yupp. so on the whole, i've had an amazing time. it was truly kick-ass wonderful.

oh where, oh where can my baby be?
the Lord took her away from me.
she's gone to heaven so i've gotta be good
so i can see my baby when i leave this world.

fourNINERS: i think you'd all agree with me that that camp was one of the best experiences we've had ever since we entered CHIJ Toa Payoh Secondary around three years ago, and i'd just like to say that i enjoyed every moment of it because i spent it with you guys. in some way or another, all of you have touched my life and made a difference. maybe i've never said anything of significance to you, but you being in 3/9 and 4/9 has made an impact on the class nevertheless. =) so! haha let's work together towards achieving the discipline that our class needs (i, for one, will try to remain quiet even during periods i don't have any interest in!) and yeahh. we *can* do it, and we *will*! 4/9 -- together til the end. -beams- hahaha that's so cheesy! lol. x)

all you have to do is reach out your hands and touch me, hold me close and never let me go.

she smiled
at 1:49 PM

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