#vanessa;
the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

240788-->leo;
ex-IJTP.4/nine2004;
cjc.1T05;
swimmer; drama mama; councillor;
laugh_out_loud247[at]hotmail[dot]com;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
pinkstilettos;
temporary insanity;
guestbook;
poetry;


angels`
-friends

4/nine.
chij.
alyssa.
angie.
benjamin.
bernie.
bert.
brendan.
carol.
carol n.
charles.
cheryl.
chris.
corinne.
dalun.
darren.
elsa.
erika.
gen.
joachim.
jolene.
judette.
kimberly.
lester.
nat.
qibing.
roxy.
sam.
sean.
seb.
sheryl.
stephi.

-snaps
[Carolling]
[Dinner&Dance]
[CJC]
[Chinese New Year]
[Poetry]
[Misc]
[Sentosa]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

-thanks
blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

-memories
July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;

layoutandimages[by]q|en

Sunday, January 18, 2004
I'M NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

been a lousy day and i feel terrible. don't feel like elaborating. i've finally quit swimming, gonna talk to mrs alex or someone about joining LD. i think i'm seriously fickle and that's never going to work out for me. anyway, went for tuition this morning. it was okay. came back and studied quite a bit and that was okay too. oh, and i read something interesting yesterday about the green river killings and the murderer who got sentenced to life imprisonment. it's quite sad really, him being sexually abused by his mother then going around killing 60+ women 'cause he hates them. a crazy world, full of crazy things that i never quite understand.

i try not to think about the pain i feel inside.
did you know you used to be my hero?
now all the times you spent with me all seem so far away
and it feels like you don't care anymore.
now i try hard to make it, i just want to make you proud.
i'm never gonna be good enough for you.
can't stand another fight... and nothing's alright.
'cause we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
'cause it's just too late, and we can't go back.
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

been thinking of simple plan's 'perfect' the whole day 'cause it's a nice song, but i swear if i hear it now i'll be bawling my eyes out. why can't i be like other people? why can't i have what they have? i can't believe she said those things. i didn't think it'd hurt so much but it did. is that what she really thinks of me? a disappointment? a selfish, heartless person who only thinks of herself and doesn't care about other people as long as she gets what she wants? i don't know. maybe i am.

nothing's going to change the things that you said.

she smiled
at 8:48 PM


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