#vanessa;
the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

240788-->leo;
ex-IJTP.4/nine2004;
cjc.1T05;
swimmer; drama mama; councillor;
laugh_out_loud247[at]hotmail[dot]com;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
pinkstilettos;
temporary insanity;
guestbook;
poetry;


angels`
-friends

4/nine.
chij.
alyssa.
angie.
benjamin.
bernie.
bert.
brendan.
carol.
carol n.
charles.
cheryl.
chris.
corinne.
dalun.
darren.
elsa.
erika.
gen.
joachim.
jolene.
judette.
kimberly.
lester.
nat.
qibing.
roxy.
sam.
sean.
seb.
sheryl.
stephi.

-snaps
[Carolling]
[Dinner&Dance]
[CJC]
[Chinese New Year]
[Poetry]
[Misc]
[Sentosa]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

-thanks
blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

-memories
July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;

layoutandimages[by]q|en

Saturday, January 31, 2004
i'm living for the only thing i know.
i'm running and not quite sure where to go.
and i don't know what i'm driving into,
just hanging by a moment here with you...


look here!!

she smiled
at 9:51 PM


you packed in the morning and i stared out the window and i struggled for something to say.

had physics tuition today! haha jennifer is really great. she's thorough and very clear and (here's the best thing) speaks properly and doesn't use much slang. haha i guess it's anti-singaporean to say this, but i don't really like slang words like 'sia' and 'power'. hahaha i don't know, it just sounds funny? but alot of people say that, so i've come to accept it haha. =) anyway, after that met mathilda and we went shopping! haha more like i went shopping and dragged her along. bought a bag for camp (i've no duffels whatsoever. deprived!) ate at kfc 'cause that silly goose didn't eat her lunch. went to popular after that to buy the silly goose's stupid set-squares. haha i think i irritated her too. lol. oh and she told me a bit of news, and i'm going to post the advice here: (for about the millionth time. haha she's going to kill me.) CARPE DIEM! SEIZE THE DAY! GO FOR IT! x)

headed back to church after that and while i was sitting with my mum and bro, carol came in and practically bellowed "vanessa ann!" -embarrassed- thank goodness there were only about 5 people in there. luckily my mum let me sit with her for mass. hahaha she's the most indecisive person in the world! haha so we sat with the cyf people. i think she annoyed shawn who was sitting in front of us. -snickers- hahaha i apologize on her behalf. lol. x) found out my brother's being taught by lester and lai. haha les! i knew it! hahaha.

feel like writing alot today, so forgive me for any incoherent rambling. need to de-stress haha. =) ooh ps! everyone read erika's blog. it mentions how i was irritating her yesterday hahaha. have i mentioned how much i like oldies? haha well except for the bee-gees. they're just unnatural. my mum bought both the "sentimental hits" CDs and i'm listening to one of them now. -sniffs- they're so sweet.

Look at this face, I know the years are showing.
Look at these eyes, I still don't know where I'm going.
I don't know much, but I know I love you.
And that may be all I need to know.


oldies rock. x)

you left in the rain without closing the door... i didn't stand in your way.

she smiled
at 9:29 PM


Friday, January 30, 2004
you are all i need to get me through.

ahh. TGiF! friday finally. -beams- today was pretty alright i guess. wrote an essay for chinese class. got back my essay for english -- made my day! x) had social studies though, which sucked just 'cause i don't like mrs tan. she's so racist! and bigoted! apparently she told 4/7 that their class was really bad 'cause only half the class was catholic and that the catholics shouldn't mix with the non-catholics! -outraged- wth! and she said that indians were ineffective and lazy too. and she teaches SOCIAL STUDIES. the irony of it all. =) hahaha tash was complaining i was being irritating today during amaths. -innocent- haha could'nt help it. was bored out of my mind! mrs lee sucks sucks SUCKS. -puke-

missing cyf again. i seriously think my mum can't count how many days there are in a month. but at least i've got physics tuition with marie and lulu tomorrow! that's nice, but i won't see my dad, and that sucks. busybusybusy.

when winter comes in summer, when there's no more forever, when lies become the truth... oh you'll know then, baby, that's when i'll stop loving you.

she smiled
at 5:37 PM


Wednesday, January 28, 2004
could you look me in the eyes and tell me that you're happy now?

school these days are so UN-like school, in that i'm having so much fun and enjoyment. hahaha 4/9 rocks! oh but today, mr tan blew his top at us. and it was such a minor incident (abish asked him to move away 'cause he was blocking the board) and he just said "you want me to move away? fine." then he took his things and walked out. everyone thought he was just playing with us! -disbelief- i don't think any of us would have thought that he'd get so upset over a little remark like that. guess he's having a bad day, and we can't blame him for that la. but later on, corinne passed this 'petition' around saying "dear mr tan, we're so sorry" and we ALL signed it and gave it to mr tan but he wouldn't accept our apology! he even said he's having a cold war with 4/9 until 2005. i think that's going overboard. i mean, of course we can understand about having an off day and all that la, but to *not* accept an apology by someone who didn't really do anything wrong in the first place? -raises eyebrows- right. wonder how it's going to be during double physics tomorrow. =/

oh and mrs alex wasted her period again by digressing and talking about her family. hahaha she's always doing that! but at least she's funny and interesting and not stale and boring la. =) mmmm during emaths, carol, stephi and abish passed us a story that they'd taken turns writing! hahaha everyone in our row was *shaking* with laughter. haha it was hilarious! -howls- haha. OH AND I HAVE ALOT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT! those assholic supposed-friends of mine drew over my pictures of 5566 and toro in my notebook! -fumes- and i couldn't even erase it 'cause they wrote in pencil ON TOP of the pictures from magazines and newspapers. -outraged- just wait! i'll get you lot back for this, i swear! x( my poor pictures... -sobs- haha.

had a green house meeting for assembly period and things were going quite well until elsa saw me and made me go up and run for level rep. -whines- i didn't want to go! haha but anyway, ratina is the level rep now so it's all good! haha. after that, met carol at her house and went to macs to meet greg for a 'bitching session'. hahaha that was quite fun. =) lol. lalalala. physics tuition this saturday! hahaha can't wait! it's gonna be fun. but after that it's so busy, 'cause i have to buy berms+duffel (shopping with matty! hahaha.) at least two days before camp which is next week. then i have to plan (and save) for v'day presents. then i have meetings for mass comm for camp and trainings and tuitions. i'm in for one hell of a bumpy ride if these are supposed to be the best years of my life. hahaha. xP

chem practical tomorrow. ughh. ("Awak Gila!")

i think you're so mean, i think we should try.

she smiled
at 5:01 PM


Tuesday, January 27, 2004
i believe the grass is no more greener on the other side, i believe you don't know what you got until you say goodbye.

today's been quite an okay day. hahaha had ME! everyone in class looks forward to moral.ed these days. mr armstrong's a riot haha. mmmmm. can't remember what i wanted to say.

ms wan's words of wisdom.
Think positive thoughts, intensely!!!
Grow enthusiastic images, boldly!!!
Speak only wonderful words to yourself, constantly!!!
Feel fantastic, NOW!!!


you don't know how you met me, you don't know why you can't turn around and say goodbye.

she smiled
at 5:30 PM


Monday, January 26, 2004
love me mouth to mouth now, you know i can't resist. 'cause you're the air that i breathe.

happy birthday stephi! mysweeeetie* hahaha. it's been a blessing having you as a friend all these years. hmmm we've known each other about 7-8 years already right? hahaha. all those quirky things you come up with in class never fail to make my day a better one. may god bless you always! happy sweet sixteen! -hugs&kisses-

today was not such a bad monday. hahaha. stephi's birthday first of all! hahaha. ooh we had a chinese test! hahaha blasted thing. didn't study *anything* until recess time, then started cramming. surprisingly i could remember most of the words. hahaha. x) actually not much happened today. ooh and natalie wrote me another fic! she rocks. -beams- but i had to promise to be quiet and not bother her for another fic ever again. -pouts- oh well. i'll find a way... haha. there's moral.ed tomorrow! hahaha mr armstrong rocks. always giving us free periods and that's when christine or shireen will come over and we'll yakkkkk away. hahaha i'm talking rubbish as i've nothing else to talk about. hahaha right. laters!

"my father used to say that fate is what you call it when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over."

she smiled
at 6:03 PM


Sunday, January 25, 2004
all i want is you; come over here, baby.

happy birthday andrea! my bestestest friend haha. been nine years and counting, and i'm glad distance hasn't broken our friendship. you'll always be that special someone in my heart! love you babe! -hugs&kisses- tkcare sweetie!

went for mass yesterday with matty. haha that girl's mad! had lotsa fun with her. oooh and bought RnB's album. hahaha eh it's not that bad k. mmmm. carol came over just now, to return my chinese book. anyway, we watched mvpqingren! and i just finished watching the whole thing. lol gaoxing looks so strange with blonde hair!! ahh but he's the best player if you ask me. -beams- don't know what else to say so i shan't say anything. x)

it's alright, that's okay. you never loved me anyway. and i think it's time for you to just move on.

she smiled
at 5:29 PM


Friday, January 23, 2004
Be With You by Mr Big.

i'm the one who wants to be with you*
deep inside i hope you* feel it too
waiting on a line of greens and blues.
just to be the next to be with you*...

haha off to watch tv. in a while, crocodiles. ;)

she smiled
at 1:47 PM


'cause i'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when i'll be back again.

chinese new year day two. went visiting yesterday and that was nice even if it was with people i only see/talk to once a year. haha found out my eldest cousin (in her second year at university) went to VJC and her younger sister who's a year older than me is studying there. haha but the thing is they stay at siglap so it's really easy for them to go there. i'll probably take over an hour every morning, assuming i actually get a score good enough to enter. -sighs- oh well. anyway, updated my site yesterday. haha it's soo piiink. haha and bimbotic.

new link!
gen!

oh baby, i hate to go.

she smiled
at 1:28 PM


Wednesday, January 21, 2004
i'm standing here until you make me move, i'm hanging by a moment here with you.

happyhappyhappy. -beams- today was nicee! hahaha. let's see, no lessons today! haha but of course it's the eve of chinese new year. -beams- can't wait to wear my new jeans tomorrow! and get hongbaos! hahaha. but we have a lot of homework too so that kinda sucks. oh well. i'll study on saturday. =) mmmm daddy met me in school today to pass me the camera. i'd messaged him the night before to ask if it was convenient for him to bring the cam tomorrow and he came all the way! he's the best dad in the whole world! x) lovehimtobits. took pictures with the bitchfest gang (minus tasha 'cause she's in bangkok. -pouts- unfair!) hahaha so anyway. before i digress, had open-air mass today too and though it was really really really irritating with the sun in our eyes and all, mass was great 'cause of the Father. i don't know his name but he was really funny, told lots of stories. i even teared when he told one story about a girl who's best friend was raped and murdered and how she came to church to tell Father she didn't believe in God anymore. today, he said, she works with the UN helping children around the world. and all because he asked her to write a letter to her best friend, thanking her for her friendship and in all, getting some closure. after that she had a dream of the friend, that she thanked her for the letter and all. -tears- it was so touching! haha even nat nearly cried. =) and 4/1 and 4/2 did a great job with the songs! it was really cute. x)

celebrations were a little lame. there was an interhouse "beauty pageant" and... well i better not comment on that. haha but some of the girls were pretty and cute haha. disappointing not to see Mr Tan up there though! why Mr Ng! haha christine, nat, robyn and i were all shouting "Mr Tan! Mr Tan!" hahaha lame. x) hmmm band music, lion and dragon dances after that and it was nice on the whole la. =) the celebrations ended late so nat's dad so kindly gave us a lift... in his yellow porsche convertible! serious! and it was so cool 'cause my hair was flying all around like a mad woman and we were all squashed in the car and everyone was staring and we waved at people we didn't know even haha just like celebrities! -breathes- hahaha enough rambling. and bert and greg didn't believe us! -outraged- haha carol and i are so going to take pictures of that gorgeous car.

anyway, got to j8 and found marcus already at the cinema. bert, elsa, sam fern, colin and greg came after that and we decided to watch 'Cheaper By The Dozen'! i know alot of people watched that today including mat, val and angie (haha i think they were in town) and i've only one thing to say... that show ROCKS! haha it was hilarious and so touching at the same time. the part where that little kid with the carrot hair and the specs was crying in the train 'cause his toad died and his family didn't seem to be including him was so sad! then the dad came on the train, crying too and i was tearing again! tsk! what's wrong with me! lol. but it made me feel like having 12 kids! i mean, my grandma had 12 kids - two sons and ten daughters. and i've only one bro. haha i think it's be a perpetual party having eleven other brothers and sisters! not to mention the queues for the bathroom every morning. haha the horror.

mmmm. after the movie, sam fern, elsa, colin and carol went home and bert, greg, marcus and me went to EAT! hahaha and as we were sitting in Macs, after this horrid couple stole the table i was eyeing, i saw carol waving at us from Mos opposite so i went over. turns out lester, lai and another guy i didn't know were there! haha they were gonna watch 'last samurai'. i still think cheaper by the dozen was a blast though! hahaha. hmmm. after that walked home with marcus and greg. (haha sorry bert, didn't see you leave!) haha they're both mad. and they both don't like jay chou/5566. that confirms they're really mad. xP

right. so came home and slept a little. had steamboat with my bro and mum just now and that was sorta nice. =) going to watch tv (hopefully some mvpqingren again!) later. i hate mosquitos! i've got 21 stinking mosquito bites on my face and it's ruined my complexion! so blotchy and all now. -whines- that's going to need A LOT of concealer tomorrow. i'm such a vainpot haha.

'cause if my eyes don't deceive me there's something going on around here.

she smiled
at 8:43 PM


Tuesday, January 20, 2004
if i coud fall into the sky, do you think time would pass us by?

had lit and physics tests today and although i'm not very confident of either of them, i think i gave alright answers so i'm not going to worry about that. =) in other news, i've decided (be still, oh fickle mind.) to not quit swimming after talking to mrs tang and ms chow today. both of them said i'd lose my swimming points 'cause i wouldn't even be in LD for a whole year. SO i'm going to start training and complete 120 hours -hopefully- by may. then i'll just concentrate on studies and my mother won't have to pay for club trainings anymore. yeahh. sounds like a plan. -shrugs-

had moral.ed again with mr armstrong. hahaha he's really really funny! and he's always letting us have free periods for moral.ed. -beams- x) talked to linn today too! really missed talking to that crazy girl. anyway, it was emaths period and we were sitting on the window ledge talking. haha chris actually read our (linn, candice, alyssa, sam and me) palms! she said i would fall ill alot. (hyeh yun once read it and said i'd die young 'cause my 'life line' was the shortest she'd ever seen. hahaha at least i'll die pretty! *thick-skinned* haha.) and that linn would die soon after her business ends. xP hahaha it was pretty hilarious!

oh, and got our class t-shirt today! it looks nice even though the motto (bonds that will never break) on the sleeve looks more like dirt than words. hahaha but it's BEEE-YOOO-TEEFUL! *fourninerocksyoursocks!* haha i'm going mad. oooh and i finally bought a new uniform. i've only two! -sobs- deprived. haha but it's 'L' and just the right size for me. this is DEPRESSING! i'm not supposed to be fat. -sighs- right. after chinese new year, i shall go on a diet immediately!

i think ms yue's one of the nicest teachers i've ever had. today she actually helped us decorate our class bulletin board with black paper and markers she brought. so lulu, carol and stephi stuck the paper up in the shape of a '9' 'cause there wasn't enough paper. hahaha. and then ms yue gave us each a small coloured card and asked us to write down our L1R5 target and our ideal JC/Poly. and it was just a really nice feeling to see everyone's card so prettily decorated with numbers and JCs/Polys on them. hahaha maybe i'm sentimental, but it was quite a sad thing... just imagining where everyone will be in a year's time. tasha wants to go to london to study, linn's migrating to thailand... and that's only two people. what about everyone else? will i see them again? will our bonds be still as strong? haha maybe i think too much. :/

so anyway after school, val, abish, carol and stephi and i walked to the interchange together. haha carol, abish and stephi went to little india to eat!! haha those piggies. (or piglets?) hahaha. so val accompanied me to go buy my jeans. haha super cheap, only $19! -breaks into a song- i love my jeans! and val rocks too! haha had fun with her today. happyhappyhappy. -beams- if only all days were like this.

and if you wanna be the teacher's pet, baby you just better forget it.

she smiled
at 5:47 PM


Monday, January 19, 2004
like children need their mother.
like rivers need a sea.
like lovers need each other.
like prisons need a key.
like winter nights need fire.
like temples need a shrine.
like lovers need desire.
like prophets need a sign.


got that *points up* from erika's blog. haha if i'm not wrong it's from that musical, the forbidden city or something, right? =) school was fine today. had an english comprehension test which was okay, but tomorrow there's literature and physics so hope i do well for those. did a chinese essay today and that was fine for the first time in my life. hahaha i actually didn't really mind writing the stupid thing. =) mmmm. our sec4 self-awareness camp's coming up! can't hardly wait. -beams- we'll get to bunk together and all again, just like we did at confirmation camp. haha carol's so excited. xp haha.

wanted to write a lot more, but i can't seem to remember what i was going to write. hmmm. oh well.

(got this from linn's blog)
the trouble with love is,
it can tear you up inside.
make your heart believe a lie.
it's stronger than your pride.
the trouble with love is,
it doesn't care how fast you fall,
and you can't refuse the call.
see? you've got no say at all.


she smiled
at 5:57 PM


Sunday, January 18, 2004
I'M NEVER GOING TO BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

been a lousy day and i feel terrible. don't feel like elaborating. i've finally quit swimming, gonna talk to mrs alex or someone about joining LD. i think i'm seriously fickle and that's never going to work out for me. anyway, went for tuition this morning. it was okay. came back and studied quite a bit and that was okay too. oh, and i read something interesting yesterday about the green river killings and the murderer who got sentenced to life imprisonment. it's quite sad really, him being sexually abused by his mother then going around killing 60+ women 'cause he hates them. a crazy world, full of crazy things that i never quite understand.

i try not to think about the pain i feel inside.
did you know you used to be my hero?
now all the times you spent with me all seem so far away
and it feels like you don't care anymore.
now i try hard to make it, i just want to make you proud.
i'm never gonna be good enough for you.
can't stand another fight... and nothing's alright.
'cause we lost it all, nothing lasts forever.
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.
'cause it's just too late, and we can't go back.
i'm sorry i can't be perfect.

been thinking of simple plan's 'perfect' the whole day 'cause it's a nice song, but i swear if i hear it now i'll be bawling my eyes out. why can't i be like other people? why can't i have what they have? i can't believe she said those things. i didn't think it'd hurt so much but it did. is that what she really thinks of me? a disappointment? a selfish, heartless person who only thinks of herself and doesn't care about other people as long as she gets what she wants? i don't know. maybe i am.

nothing's going to change the things that you said.

she smiled
at 8:48 PM


Friday, January 16, 2004
i'm backkk! x)

got banned from the internet for a week and grounded for a month last friday 'cause i went to watch a movie with carol, chris, abish and bernard. didn't tell my mum but silly me left the ticket stub on the washing machine. i'm a true ditz. hahah so anyway, lotsa stuff happened this week but i don't feel like trying to recall everything. so i'll just talk about today. haha and yesterday maybe. =)

there's so much i can't say when i look into your eyes. i'm afraid that you'll reject me and hurt my foolish pride. every day this feeling gets stronger but i could never let you know. there's so much behind my smile that i could never show. so i'll dream of us together, of just how it could be. and all that you are will remain the silent part of me.

today was pretty okay. had a social studies test on japan's industrial slowdown and i completely fucked it up 'cause i didn't study last night. not that i didn't want to study, i just couldn't concentrate. hmmmm that could be a problem. so yeahh the test was horrid and mrs tan was horrid-der. she's the most irritating teacher i've ever had! every single word that comes out of her mouth is so measured and pronounced like she's placing emphasis on every word. plus she's racist and likes to flaunt her wealth (or so i've heard anyway.) yuckks. just out luck. hmm oh and we also had an english descriptive essay test today and that was pretty fun even though mine didn't turn out very perfect. nat's one was the best! but she's a writer so. =)

i've really missed blogging! -squeals-

new link!
erika!

she smiled
at 5:15 PM


Thursday, January 08, 2004
i haven't slept at all in days.
it's been so long since we've talked.
and i've been here many times,
i just don't know what i'm doing wrong.
what can i do to make you love me?
what can i do to make you care?
what can i say to make you feel this?
what can i do to get you there?

there's only so much i can take.
and i've just gotta let it go.
and who knows? i might feel better.
if i don't try, i don't hope.
what can i do to make you love me?
what can i do to make you care?
what can i say to make you feel this?
what can i do to get you there?

no more waiting, no more aching.
no more fighting, no more trying.
maybe there's nothing more to say.
and in a funny way i'm calm.
because the power is not mine,
i'm just gonna let it fly...

she smiled
at 7:27 PM


now she's walking through the clouds, with a circus mind that's running wild. butterflies and zebras, and moonbeams and fairytales, all she ever thinks about is flying with the wind...

when mrs siau was announcing the cathecism teachers today, i just knew we'd end up with francis yap. and we did. nothing like a sec3 reunion, eh? LOL. chris nearly died when she heard. haha and so did most of 4/9 la. had PE today with tps. haha she took our height+weight and i'm now 167 even though i didn't grow for about 3 months! hahaha but alyssa's already hit 70. that tall girl! not too pleased having tps as a pe teacher (i've never really liked her much) but still, it beats having tjl. that stupid flaky dry bitch. haha excuse my french, but i'm sure all the girls from ij know how badly tjl sucks. *angelic* =) mmmm. plus we had physics practical today 'cause mr tan was away, and it was quite bad. haha i didn't really know what i was doing so thanks robyn for all your help and patience with the ignoramus next to you. lol. x) haha. oh and during the pratical when mrs tang was briefing all of us, suddenly a phone's message alert tone went off! and everyone looked at me! -outraged- hahaha how dare they! but it wasn't mine, it was the cleaning auntie's. xP

mmmm. took the bus back with robyn and met katrina and bernie on it. haha seems i'm forever meeting kat there! =) went together to kfc to get dinner and then came home. so all in all, today was pretty nice. oh and nat wrote me a story again. -big grin- that girl rocks. going out with abish and carol tomorrow to watch 'scary movie 3.' haha and they're making me buy the tickets. hope i can pass off as a 16-year-old. or if anyone wants to come and help me buy them, you're most welcome! =) haha. then gotta meet matty to go for dinner, then go for cyf. busybusybusy. haha but i like being busy so it's okay. =)

just when i thought i was safe, you found me in my hiding place. i promised never again, i wouldn't give my heart - but then: closer, closer i moved near you, the way i want you makes me feel you. love breaks and love divides. love laughs and love can make you cry. i can't believe the ways, that love can give... and love can take away.

she smiled
at 7:18 PM


Wednesday, January 07, 2004
happy birthday clare!! hahaha don't know if you'll see this but many happy returns of the day. may God bless you always. x)

nobody said it was easy. nobody said it would be so hard.

today was quite okay. food for thought: is Clinton or Bush a better president? would you rather have a president that has sex issues or a president who goes and makes war with iraq? one that lies to the public about knowing monica lewinsky or one that lies about something much bigger, like whether there are weapons of mass destruction in iraq? hahaha mind-boggling. anyway, school today was quite nice. =) ohh! and today robyn and i paid natalie to write us stories. hahaha that girl is so cheap. for 50cents she'll write you a het fic, something that she hates doing normally. hahaha. but her stories are the best. haha i'm probably going to waste my allowance forcing her to write stories. -beams-

i think my brother's having trouble mixing with the kids in his class. mmmm wish i could help him but i really don't know how. =\ maybe i'll just ask my dad to talk to him. or like carol told me, talk to him and stuff. -sighs- right. some sister i am.

i bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow, i watched the stars crash into the sea. if i could ask God one question, why aren't you here with me?

she smiled
at 6:21 PM


Tuesday, January 06, 2004
baby how i want you.

you know, it's strange but suddenly school's so tiring. yesterday i came home from school, did my homework and by 8pm i was thoroughly exhausted. then my mum let my bro and i go to bed early so i fell asleep at around 9. hmmmm wonder why. anyway, today was okay la. had moral ed with mr armstrong and i think everyone nearly died when he first spoke. his voice is the HIGHEST male voice that i've ever heard. i mean, seriously, when you close your eyes and listen you'd think he was a she. hahaha. but after that, when he spoke to us saying that he's come to accept his voice and that he doesn't blame us for laughing at him 'cause it's human nature, i felt so bad. =( yupp he's a really sweet teacher! hahah and quite funny too! x)

i stare at your face, into your eyes. outside there's so much passing us by. all of the sounds, all of the sights, over the earth and under the sky. too much cold and too much rain; too much heartache too explain.

literature was funny 'cause of mrs alex (as always!) her sense of humour is much much different from joteo's. if joteo was america-type humour, hers is british! =) double physics and chem was rubbish. well, physics was fun la 'cause of mr tan and his 'happy families' (class joke! haha!). i think we laugh the most and have the most fun in his class just 'cause of his lameness. hahaha 4/6 is lucky. oh but chem was rubbish, 'cause mrs tay is really really really really really really the most BORING teacher alive. tash, nat and i were stuffing our faces in front of her and she didn't even know. hahaha that's not sucha bad thing actually... hahaha. can't wait for tomorrow, we finally end early! xD for once!

i realise this entry and the previous one are all pertaining to school. hahaha so sorry for those not in my class/school. you lot probably won't understand. =/ sorry. mmmmm craving for muffins! hahaha it's strange but these days, every day i've got a different craving for a different sort of food. like friday it was ice-cream, monday, donuts and today chocolate chocolate-chip muffins. *yummmmm*

is it saturday yet? i don't wanna get up.

she smiled
at 6:17 PM


Monday, January 05, 2004
he broke my heart. i broke his jaw.

mondays used to, do and will always suck. nat didn't come today! anyway, had lotsa subjects today and eric tan is infuriating! walked into class for the first lesson and gave us a test all on last year's work! i couldn't remember a third of it! plus we still have to pass up his stupid homework that 39 of us (apparently) didn't do! haha. hmmm had geography too with ms wan. she's really really really nicee! hahaha i thought a lot of people said she was very annoying and irritating but she was actually quite fun haha. she herself said we have to get a life and not study so much! hahaha she ROCKS. oooh and mrs alex too!! ahhh! she's the funniest woman ever. hahaha like a giant bubble you just want to squeeeeze! hahaha i'm mad. but really, she's so much cuter than joteo last year. then again, almost anyone would look cute next to joteo, so. =)

english was funny haha. 'cause ms chow gave us a spelling test and tasha got 4/10 hahaha. x) then chinese after that SUCKED. annoyingly, i dropped from a grade-A class to a grade-C one. and my teacher's tpy! -sighs- but i'm to blame for that i guess. didn't really study for chinese that hard so i've got to study much much harder this year to get that A. after that was chem with tay yit ming. again, she was much nicer than i expected though a little boring. but i've got to pass chem this year, even if i don't make it to an A. xP did all my homework just now. i feel like a nerd.

a kiss is just a kiss
til you find the one you love.
a hug is just a hug
til it's the one you're thinking of.
a dream is just a dream
until you make it come true.
love is just a word,
til proven to you...


ouchh. my eye hurts. =(

she smiled
at 6:21 PM


Sunday, January 04, 2004
i'm not supposed to love you.
i'm not supposed to care.
i'm not supposed to live my life
wishing you were there.

she smiled
at 5:25 PM


Saturday, January 03, 2004
i live in a crazy world, full of crazy things
that i never quite understand.
but i know that the people that care for you
are the measure of any woman or any man.
and if you need anything, then i'll share.
and if i need you, would you be there?


open your eyes and you will see that
little truths are scattered all around.
in the middle of the madness,
is a place where quiet can be found.
if you don't see that, or believe that,
you'll disappear without a sound 'cause
we all live in a house of cards.
take one away, and they all come tumbling down.
all come falling down...


she smiled
at 11:49 AM


pain is pain, however arcane it's origin.

first day of school was quite bittersweet haha. was the first one in class 'cause my mum sent me especially early. so we're in the new block now, st raphael instead of the old st gabes. i wanna go back! oh and they repainted the classrooms so they're all white and blue. yuckks. i want our old classroom back! we slogged so much over it and it was so pretty. pui. stupid school. hmmmm anyway, my form's ms yue now (hahaha no mr yap!) and she's quite okay la. actually not much happened at school, just that i got a ton of presents and now i feel terrible for not buying them anything! haha alright you guys will get gifts over the year k? x) much thanks to stephi, natalie, tasha, chris, erika. thanks you lot!

this yr's teachers aren't that nice but at least we've got eric tan again and mrs alex for lit! and not mag low or joteo! hahaha. oh and that shithead jenny lee, my amaths teacher, gave us homework. HELLO! FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL! pui. x( anyway, after school carol and i went to j8 to buy a present for a friend. and that lovely girl bought me a 'bracelet' that has the word 'ditz' written across it! and she bought it from right under my nose and i didn't even know. hahaha guess that confirms that i'm really a ditz. xP haha thanks dear! mmmm. went home after that, did my homework (like a good girl should, apparently.) and headed down to church for cyf after that. ahhhh of all days to wear a skirt man! sat on the floor for over an hour watching a video. my whole leg was cramped! haha. hmmm it ended early so ange and i went to wait outside for my mum to come pick us up and lester, shawn, ethelbert, calvin and marcus waited with us? hahaha thanks! x)

new link!
lester!

i want things back to the way they used to be.

she smiled
at 11:45 AM


Thursday, January 01, 2004
and i'd give up forever to touch you,
'cause i know that you see me somehow.
you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be,
and i don't want to go home right now.

and i don't want the world to see me.
'cause i don't think that they'd understand.
when everything's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

she smiled
at 9:09 PM


much ado about nothing.

happy new yr, everyone! woahh. already 2004, the year of the dreaded Os. the beeeg exam. -sighs- on the brighter side, i watched my mvp valentine today. hahaha taizi rocks man! and duanchengfeng sucks. don't understand why everyone likes him. just 'cause he's the angsty hero. hahaha i'm going to get carried away. anyway, school tomorrow. ARGH. hope i don't get mag low for a teacher! but then again we're one of the two classes doing pure lit so i doubt we won't get her. -sighs- still, can't wait to see everyone! x)

resolutions.
1. study HARD for the Os (target: 9 pts.) and get into a good jc. (everyone knows this by now right? hahaha.)
2. to pay attention in class! even if it's chem.
3. to try not to keep arguing with my mother.

catch ya on the flip side.

she smiled
at 9:06 PM


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