#vanessa;
the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

240788-->leo;
ex-IJTP.4/nine2004;
cjc.1T05;
swimmer; drama mama; councillor;
laugh_out_loud247[at]hotmail[dot]com;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
pinkstilettos;
temporary insanity;
guestbook;
poetry;


angels`
-friends

4/nine.
chij.
alyssa.
angie.
benjamin.
bernie.
bert.
brendan.
carol.
carol n.
charles.
cheryl.
chris.
corinne.
dalun.
darren.
elsa.
erika.
gen.
joachim.
jolene.
judette.
kimberly.
lester.
nat.
qibing.
roxy.
sam.
sean.
seb.
sheryl.
stephi.

-snaps
[Carolling]
[Dinner&Dance]
[CJC]
[Chinese New Year]
[Poetry]
[Misc]
[Sentosa]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

-thanks
blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

-memories
July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;

layoutandimages[by]q|en

Sunday, November 23, 2003
re-read my testimonials on friendster, and i just don't understand why people say i'm nice. honestly and i swear to God i don't understand. i mean is it possible that so many people don't really know me? that they don't know what a moronic asshole of a bitch i can be? i know some people have seen the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde side of me, but what scares me is that if it's true what people say, that i'm 'nice', then that means that my horrible alter ego hasn't surfaced in quite a while. and that's just scary 'cause when she finally does show up, the show's going to be anything but subtle. and when the bitch in me finally shows herself after sucha long hiatus, then she's going to hurt everybody.

haha i sound like a complete schizo. but i'm not, really. just... i don't know. concerned+confused, i guess. confirmation's tomorrow. couldn't wait at first, and now i'm dreading it. i'm so not myself.... then again i don't know if i can say what IS myself anymore. i feel so numb. i've cried all the tears i could possibly (ever in this entire lifetime) cry, explained all that i could possibly explain to myself, and yeah. guess what? it still sucks. talked to linn just now and she really cheered me up a little :) don't wanna say it here, but thanks dear. you may nt think it was a lot, but it really helped. and yeahh thanks for just being there. :)

anyway, nth much happened today. the whole cat class met up at EC macs to have breakfast together. haha like the Last Supper or something. haha. but it was really nice actually in a sentimental soppy sappy way. =) after that we had confirmation rehearsal for the mass that's taking place around 14 more hours in the future. and then carol, and the two elizabeths and i went for lunch (after i signed up for CYF and Mustard Seed!) at the interchange. went all the way to IMM at jurong east after that to see lulu? haha. madness* =) then came hme. how interesting. k i've to sleep. ciaos.

//I've become so numb.
I can't feel you there.
Become so tired.
So much more aware.
I'm becoming this.
All I want to do...
Is be more like me,
And be less like YOU.//*

she smiled
at 1:23 AM


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