the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Saturday, November 01, 2003
Day 1.
just made a call to my dad. i'm gonna miss him a lot. and just now i didn't even get to say goodbye to my mum. fuck it she didn't even respond when i tapped on the window. whatever. i just noe i'm gonna miss her like hell i'm gonna miss everyone! hope i can survive out there, having my thing and all. argghh and it's second day?! fucks. why must i be a woman. why must we all have wombs!! ARRGGHHH. waiting...waiting... boring! //i'll think of you, will you think of me? don't let time pass us by. weep not for memories.//*
okay! i'm in a group called dhanabalan with marie, qibing, alyssa, sam, eunice, livia, val, evon, priscilla, cerise, gen liu, bonnie, michelle, carrie and myself. haha our name is so absurd we just call it nana-nana or balan-balan!! lol. and the rest of the watches have equally weird names like bo seng, eng soon and kurt. kurt is the mgs watch. how unfair that they have a single-syllable name while we have a four-syllable one! lol. had a briefing in the morning frm adam, our camp director with the sexysexy legs! *insidejoke!* and our instructor is PAULINE! ex-ij girl who loves talking! but she's really so nice and quite funny so i'm pretty content even if the other watches have guy-instructors and therefore do things a bit faster than us. seems we're always late for any activity! lol! as you can tell, we are in residential. along with the rest of ijtp girls and the watch of mgs girls. at first we thought it would be mobile, and all of us sighed as one when we heard it was residential instead, since we expected mobile to be tons funner than reisdential. but now i'm pretty happy it's residential! haha it's quite a relief to see a bed and a shower when you're tired, dirty and wet. been kayaking the whole day! it was shit fun. but quite tiring too. haha and qibing and i were both worrying that it'll start dripping once we got out of the water! helena's got it too haha such luck! and she told me she couldn't seem to get the tampon up?! LOL! *tmi!* haha. marie and i were having so much trouble trying to steer the bloody thing! it was like 'turn LEFT! NO WAIT! turn RIGHT! A BIT MORE! RIGHT RIGHT! NO NO LEFTT!!' lol. you wouldn't believe how heavy the bloody kayak is. cut my nose on it too haha. and we had to carry EIGHT up and down the rocks! very tiring. we had to do capsizing and rescuing which was fun, 'cept that it's damn tiring getting back into the kayak when you're already in the water. started raining half-way through so we were all soaked to the bone and freezing. i've got so many cuts. and i was bathing just now and all the horrible fibreglass is stuck in my hands and feet. fibre glass HURTS. specially when you rub against it? yeah. hmmm the mgs girls are very dao. haha they seem like the sort to 'act-big' like sam says. oh well. haha i'm shit tired. gotta go for a talk later then wake up at 5 am tomorrow. i cannot wait to sleep. nights.

Day 2.
today. i'm EXHAUSTED. my feet HURT. someone woke us up at 5.05 (i think it was gen) by yelling so loudly and carrie, who was sleeping on the bunk next to mine (it's a double-decker. marie's sleeping below me.), yelled for us to go back to sleep. after gen woke me up i couldn't sleep anymore. so i just lay awake and packed til 5.20 when i woke the rest up by shouting. haha *embarrassed* :) went down to the expedition court where two watches already were. at least we weren't last! and we had 'assembly' but w/o saying anything. it was quite funny 'cause the flag-raisers couldn't coordinate! lol! after that was PT. PT SUCKS. we actually ran up and down the hill twice. it was so hard and so tiring. this campus is so biggggg and my thighs are hurting like crazy now, so bad i can't even squat or walk down the stairs without wincing. i'm glad it's residential. after that was breakfast and the food here is RUBBISH. for supper we had a coconut bun? major ick. bleah bleah bleah. haha i'm such a whiner. anyway, after blekfast (as pauline would say! lol!), we had breakfast duty. i hate mopping! the floor is shit dirty okay. and the water was like cocoa. haha reminded me of my chores at home. thank goodness i don't have to fold clothes here. lol. after that we had the rest of the day learning how to wear a harness (mildy obscene?), learning how to tie different knots (of which none i can understand) and a small rope-climbing excerise. shit fun! =) i even walked an enitre rope course without falling! what an accomplishment. ahem ahem. the ditz actually has a sense of balance! yeahh baby yeahh! haha whatever vanessa. we set up a tent today too and yhat was hard. i even giaped my pinky which is throbbing now. and we were expected to sleep in it tonight but we're all so dead tired and so pampered (haha) that we just chose to sleep back in the dorms. who in the world wants to sleep on grass and soil when they have a bed free from bugs!! lol. went on a night trek too. it was very very very scary. i mean, i didn't think i had such a problem with being in darkness. it's seriously scary when you can't see your feet or your own hand in front of you and you still have to navigate your own way through rocks and all. i think i was sweating so much from more of panic and fear than actually sweating? yeahh haha. qb even told me to relax! lol! i'm tired. my feet hurt. and i really felt like giving up but i'm glad i didn't there's only three days and 2 nights left and i'm SO going to survive this. =) even though the mobile girls may 'sneer' at us lol. =) this dorm is like a house, and i'm sleeping in the living. on my right is qibing and michelle and if i stretch a little higher i can see the michelle's bed. and in front of me is alyssa's bed on the upper bunk, sam, bonnie, gen liu and cerise in their own 'room'. out here is me, marie, priscilla, eunice, carrie, livia and evon. anyway. going to sleep now. i hope tomorrow will be a better day. i hope tomorrow i will have the strength to go on. NIGHT.

she smiled
at 10:18 PM

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