the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Thursday, October 23, 2003
last day of school. sexuality talk today. the woman was pretty funny actually, but natalie hated it. 'cause of all the homosexuality is distorting and wrong and unnatural. i didn't agree with that at all. like, what? all bungs were traumatized as children or molested or raped? okay, i guess sometimes those are the unfortunate cases, but not ALL of them are. why can't they be born that way? why can't homosexuality be a choice? singapore proclaims open-mindedness. regardless or race, language or religion. so why can't it be regardless of sexuality as well? is there really something so wrong with being gay or lesbian? are they not people too? are they not human beings that need love, care and attention like *everyone* does? straight people can be so prejudiced over them, they don't mind setting serial murderers free, they don't mind killing and abusing their own children, but they protest so vehemently against a school for homosexuals. homosexuality is not wrong. it will never be wrong. there was a catholic priest that came to my school once, to give a talk, and said "Sin is the denial of love." and it was a *catholic* priest.

enough ranting. haha. nat did that all on her blog. they showed this video on abortion too, at the sexuality talk. at first they started with showing the different photos of the babies at different weeks, and there was one shot where the baby moved it's hand. and i started tearing *already*. so i knew i wouldn't be able to watch the entire thing after that without sobbing my eyes out or screaming like a banshee so i just kept my eyes squeezed shut. but tasha next to me was so pale and gripping my chair so tight, so i know it was very gruesome and horrid. i just don't understand how these people can be so cruel. they're their own children, after all, and i don't see how they can bear letting their own baby get ripped to pieces. there is no more love in this world. the human race has died.

i don't know why, but today has been quite a bad day. even when i'm broken inside, the world will see me smile. <-- jie's nick. *hugsjiejietight* ilu dear. i really miss those days last year, when you were just next door. and u still owe me a letter u bad jiejie. hahaha. but i shall be a good mei and still love you. haha. but i relate to that nick really well. i'm quite like that too. hmmmm. but i feel so empty. i'm half the person i used to be. i feel like i'm just a shell of myself. i don't feel like myself, just so empty. but then, tomorrow it'll be over, and i'll be back to my weird-ass self, so i guess i should wait for tomorrow. you always smile, but in your eyes, your sorrow shows.

going out with my dad tomorrow, finally. for like the first time in 3 months? yeahh. so i'm pretty thankful for that. my mum is unreasonable sometimes. last month, he couldn't take us out 'cause on the last week that he was supposed to take us, there was some emergency delivery or something and he couldn't make it. but my mother wouldn't allow him to take us out twice the next month. i don't understand why she still holds on to the anger and hurt. my dad told me this quote once "Holding onto anger is like holding onto a piece of hot coal, waiting to throw it at your enemy." you're definitely going to get burnt first. so why is she holding onto that anger? why is she still hating? sometimes it doesn't make sense.

i think today's entry is depressing. sorry everyone. it's just the way i'm feeling.

i hope tomorrow will be a better day.

she smiled
at 3:33 PM

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