the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Tuesday, September 23, 2003
-deep breath- i have a lot to talk about today! hahaha. =) so all of you can sit back and enjoy my words of wisdom. -beams- hahah. okay. oh something funny happened this morning! stupid john was getting mydarkingupcakenumber#1 to teach her how to do the bimbo walk! L-O-L!! hahahaha. she can't even master the girl walk and she wants to do the bimbo walk. hahaha. don't change john! we need an ape like you in class! x) hahaha. that was stupid, but -ohwell- i find the oddest things funny. (nat said that to me today too, on how i observe the strangest things.)

CME exam was today and thankfully it took up the chinese periods. haha. but it was so full of shit. i didn't believe a single word i wrote down on my paper! not even the one on pre-marital sex blahblah. haha don't get me wrong! i'm nt a slut or whatever and have such loose morals but to me, if it happens, it happens. of course both should be well aware of the consequences and stuff, but if they're both so deeply in love (and not just pure lust) that they feel they're responsible enough to take the relationship a step further, then why not? haha. i don't know, it's just my opinion although i know lyss is very adamant against it!! lol!

hahaa i have a lot more to say about how shittified our government is to actually HAVE a moral education EXAM but i'll spare your sensitive ears. -smirks- anyway. joteo made us sit in our reg no arrangement. and i'm pretty sure she's not going to let us change back anymore. actually i'm quite happy sitting in this arrangement, 'cept that i'm too far front and everyone else (with the exception of nat who's pitifully stuck at the teacher's table) haha. maybe i'm a loner. sometimes i like sitting alone. and i do pay more attention this way. hahaha *nerd*. hmmmm. the day was pretty normal after that. haha roxy was listening out for quotes too! lol. x)

hmmm. oh!! my damn chinese orals are tomorrow! and i still haven't read the paper she gave us on topics that'll come out. and nat said it was damn hard! if it was so hard i'm D-E-A-D tomorrow! last year tpy gave me a 3/10 for some part of the stupid oral. so depressing. this year, i'm banking on tpg to give me a prompt in which she will explain and explain and answer her own questions and explain somemore and carry on talking and talking and talking.... then i won't have to say anything! -prays hard- i hope that's what'll happen anyway. haha x) oh and we have english orals this year too. oh no. i'm going to sound like some lian who can't speak PRO-PAH english (as joteo puts it). seriously, this year my english has taken a nosedive for the deepest pits of hell. -hangs head- i'm doomed. =(

afternoon study today was quite okay! but *someone* was sooo busy talking to her darling qb, she forgot to talk to her *other* darling! felt so lamppost-tish. hahaha. don't kill me! but anyway. i managed to get some geog notes done, which is quite an achievement! haha. i don't know how in the world i managed to pass geog in the first semester when i didn't have any notes at all! haha i guess my guardian angel watches over me... (i always try and say thank you whenever things happen but somehow doesn't affect me. like when i drop a fork in the kitchen, it'll hit the other end and away from my feet, and not jab my poor toes. haha. so i always thank my angel!) but maybe my angel is on MC (and not surprising too, since it has to keep up with my daily uncountable sins, the poor thing. "if you're gonna sin, sin whole-heartedly!" <-- that's my motto when it comes to sinning. i am truly evil.) she/he (it?) doesn't seem to be here right now when my exams are only a few sunrises away! oh no!! -sighs- oh well. punsishment i guess.

anyway, amath tuition after that. i might not be joining back my tuition class next year, 'cause it really isn't helping my amaths grades much and even though i really hate to leave everyone (you know who you are!) and my teacher too, it's just not making any difference in my grades. -sobs- maybe i should work harder too la... =( talked to mydarling there a little. and she sounded so irritated. oh no. don't be irritated okay darling? you know you have nothing to worry about at all so don't imagine things! she cares for you so damn damn much (i could tell, okay, and you're not supposed to doubt your cupcake. you promised. under the cupcake-101-oath. xP) so yupp. give her the benefit of the doubt more often yeahs. i don't think she's the kind who'll just play people! -bighugsandsloppykisses- you darling of mine. don't be sad!! you'll see. things will change! and if she's not going to make the first move, darll, then you'll have to. either way (you know i'm a lousy adviser) ilu. always and forever+

don't i have a lot to say today? hahaha. i don't know. i had a weird dream yesterday, and it was so scary and frightening i woke up screaming. at least, i think i did, i don't really know. but i know i was screaming. at least 3 times. it was shit scary. dreamt of the place outside our school, near philips, and me and someone else (i can't remember, but we were both in school uniforms) were walking down. then i saw this kitten walking in the middle of the road and i was like 'oh no!' and was telling it in my head, 'move to the other side! quick! before the cars run you over!!' and it obeyed! so i was damn shocked. so i sent it another thought 'go into the factory, you'll be safer there.' and it obeyed!! so i was pretty darn happy (who wouldn't be, if they knew they could talk to animals!) until i saw the DARK SHADOWS with a pair of RED EYES GLEAMING FROM THEM. i was like FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. so i started shouting at it (all this time the cat was going closer and closer towards it, my stupid thought-network must have been disabled.) and it emerged! fucking shit it was a damn JAGUAR! and i was screaming 'OH MY GOD!!' and then the STUPID BLIND kitten walked in front of it and the jaguar put its head down and bit it's neck AND BEGAN EATING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! i started screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. can you imagine how i felt? that was the shittiest dream in the world. -cries-

after that, the dream started becoming weird. haha i was on my way to sentosa in a bus which i was driving! reached world trade centre and got onto a SHIP which was like so high-tech and designed damn nicely (second time i dreamt of this!) and the next moment, we were off to space. ('we' 'cause i don't know who else was there. damn freaky to have a dream and not know who you're with!) yes, space. -raises eyebrow- and on our way to an alternate-earth. (?!?!?!) but along the way, something happened in the space thingy. i'm nt sure what, but all i know is that i heard the phrase 'by a code of conduct of -something something-, when one of us dies, ALL OF US SHALL DIE." then i saw this explosion, where a spacecraft had exploded and these separate space capsules each holding on astronaught. then the leader (some cacausian guy i've never seen before) assembled all of the people and said, "This is it. On the count of three." and on the count of three they all plunged straight DOWN INTO THE EXPLOSION AND KILLED THEMSELVES! i was horrified! -stunned-

they say dreams have meanings. symbolic and otherwise. i think i can sort of understand this one, and i'm not liking it too much. it's so scary and so depressing. =( oh no.

she smiled
at 11:45 PM

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