the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Tuesday, September 30, 2003
today's val's birthday! and gen's birthday and mr tan's birthday as well! mucho hugs and kisses to my two wonderful friends (enjoy what's left of your day, you two!) and a nicely warbling happy birthday song to mr tan. i would send him love and hugs too, but. i'll leave that to his wife and some (read: blind) girls in school. anyway, i feel another of my lame attacks coming on. ergo, today's entry might sound like yesterday's entry -- entirely full of crap, moanings, musing and weird english. enjoy. -evil laughter rings from the four corners of the earth-

instinct told me that today might not be that good of a day after all. and by golly, i was right. chinese in the morning was wonderful. i've always *loved* writing down primary-school-standard chinese words that link together to form an essay. *my* essay, mind you. sitting between hyeh yun and alyssa wasn't helping much either, since, although they were both so kind and helped me everytime i pulled out a tuft of my hair in frustration of my inability to converse in chinese, to hear them asking each other words that i would probably never understand and have only vaguely heard of was a mite depressing. Lord knows how well i'm going to score for my chinese finals this year. and the next. hahaha. this is unhealthy. sinking oneself into depression is never good! -wails-

had english after that, and not unexpectedly, joteo managed to make it keep-your-eyeballs-open-with-toothpicks boring. the highlight of the lesson, however, was the enormous wasp/bee/flyinginsect-withwings that entered through the window next to lulu and terrorized the both of us. it kept flying around us, and lulu was nearly hiding under her table (if i'm not wrong, she *was* hiding under her table and using her literature notes as a make-shift helmet.) wasps are evil, mean creatures. and joteo didn't even care! she was all "Miss Vanderstraaten, the more you move, the more it's likely to attack you!" i wonder if she knows that words like those do *nothing* for the palpitating heart of a 15-year-old girl who's terrified of flying insects. i'm guessing she doesn't. and she made it sound as if it was our fault that it chose to attack us by saying "If you're scared of the insects then why are you sitting there?!" hello, joteo-you-bitch, my clueless brainless fat ass teacher. i was *honestly* trying to not incur her wrath by moving (plus, i was lazy too.) and she scolds me. -scowls- what's the use of trying? all you get is pain. when i wanted sunshine, i got rain.

i received my geography marks after recess, only to find out, to my dull amusement, that i'd failed with a 9.5/25. assuming my inadequate maths skills have not gone entirely to waste, that would be a 38 upon hundred. U. U for ungraded. U for undesirable. U for u-suck-at-geography-u-imbecile. -sighs sadly- oh well. i didn't really study for that test anyhow, so can't blame anyone but myself. i hate it when that happens. it's only fun when you can blame someone else! -sobs- haha. lameshit. hmmmm. after geog was emaths and amaths so i moved to the back 'cause shireeeenbaby promised to sit with me. and she didn't. neither did john. -huffs- so i ended up by myself, sitting there, lonely and annoyed and unbearably bored. my habit of drawing on the glass came back too, and i scrawled all over the window pane 'i am very bored' and 'wo hen men' and 'jieying is very irritating!' lol! and jie was being *very* annoying! hahaha. but i still love her anyway! you hear that, you annoying adorable idiot? -hugsjietight- i thought we'd be missing ME (last two periods) 'cause our whole class was supposed to go for dental appointments (i reckon they'll make us stand in a line with our mouths open) but the nurses abandoned us to the evil clutches of joteo. YET AGAIN. i am beginning to despise literature.

well, okay, you know i don't mean that.

i'm a sucker for literature through and through. but honestly joteo can make it the most uninteresting lesson on earth. end of the 2 periods saw me drained of energy and completely lifeless. and there was amaths remedial after that too. you can imagine my joy.

lulu told me an interesting story on the way home today, too. well, not so much as story as gossip. haha. (there goes my virgin ear-drums.) apparently some people, some quite *intelligent* people are wondering why i rebonded my hair. and quite obviously, they seem reluctant to take venomous-hatred-for-curly-and-frizzy-and-untamable-hair as an excuse. -thoughtful- well, if they come up with any other ideas about why i straightened my hair (and literature students, it is *not* symbolic.) please let me know. i am as inquisitive as you are (and quite clueless too.), regarding such an amusing matter. -angelic smile- oh, lulu also quite fiercely hissed that a lot of people know my "secret". -raises eyebrow- UH. okay? lulu sweetie, thanks to an unsuccessful revision of geography just now, i *counted*. all in all, at least 27 people know. so you can understand if i'm not very hot and bothered about this right? s'not as if i care about what those rumour-mongers have to say anyhow. -beams-

tuition later. how interesting. (inside joke. hazel+candice you should know what i mean!)

i bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow. i watched the stars crash into the sea. if i could ask God one question, why aren't you here with me? < -- 'someday we'll know' by mandy moore and someone else. hahaha. it's a nice song! x)

she smiled
at 6:41 PM

Monday, September 29, 2003
quite a lot to write about again! haha so everyone can just skip along if you want to. this entry will probably be moderately filled with shit and entirely filled with crap. (go figure.)

anyway, had my english exam today and it went pretty well! i sound like i'm totally gloating, don't i? unfortunately, i'm not. just 'cause for the essay writing bit, i wrote about 'My Ideal Life Partner' and had to describe him. as usual, i got so carried away with my many cockroach-infested and completely-barking-mad ideas that my poor dream guy ended up being a surfer with dreadlocks, with a earring in his nose and a twinkle in his blue and green eyes. yes, the poor guy ended up with one blue eye and one green eye. (got the idea from the movie 'Practical Magic' starring Sandra Bullock) now i can only engage in fruitless hoping that joteo will be merciful (OH, HAVE MERCY ON US, MERE MORTALS! OH, HE-GODDESS OF THE RED NAILS AND BIG BOTTOM!) gives marks for entertaining stories like mine anyway. comprehension was fortunately easy, spent the last 20 minutes or so just staring out the window, watching the squirrels. (i have developed a queer habit of gazing out of the window during lessons. i suspect my classmates suspect that i have switched souls with a bird. that would, at least, explain the bout of lameness that has plagues me for some time.) unknown to most people, squirrel-watching is actually quite fascinating. intriguing, if you may. the apparent-innocence of squirrels... (when we all *casts a knowing glance around* know what they did last night...) where has innocence gone? *sighs sadly*

hmmm. so after some enjoyable time of watching squirrels and birds frolic happily in the sun (where i should be if not for these blasted exams! a curse upon all you heads, you filthy MOE!), joteo finally released us from her deadly, blood-red-nail-polished clutches and john and i went looking for something scrumptious to fill our pitiful growling tummies (after the entire world didn't want to join us. more curses upon your lice-infested heads! all of you! ) and we stumbled upon my sistaas at the bus-stop so we all went foraging for food (alliteration!) together. on the whole, it was quite entertaining! hahaha. but my two sistaas were being mad. -ponders- i would understand if john never wants to have lunch with them again, i guess. my sisters can be pretty freaky, but oh well. =) anyway. after lunch (which was a very unsatisfying beef noodles. i thought it would taste nicer! -pouts-) nat went home while the three of us went to the church opposite thomson to buy john's auntie's book. unfortunately, my goldfish-inherited memory has forgotten what it's called, but it's a gorgeous church. haha. at least better-looking than mine anyway! but the bookshop was closed (those lazy scumbags.) so chris and i bade a teary farewell to john and high-tailed to her very silent, very clean, very everything house.

her house is amazing. second time i've been there, but still. jaw-dropping amazing. i mean, if you didn't have to listen to chris' incessant whining (more like humming to me now. i've developed an immune system to it.) everyday (you know i still love you, right?) and you stepped into her palace of a house, you would never realize that she has 3 other sisters, younger than her. but enough about her house. so we idled our time away, going on the brain-damaging internet and talking to some of chris' numerous contacts. realization of the day: my sister can be quite mad. quite brainless. and yet, i love her all the more. alas, this is my love. after what seemed like mere nano-seconds, my darling sister chased me out of the house and i mournfully walked all the way out and caught the bus home.

so, today.

can you say going-to-fail-my-exams?

she smiled
at 6:28 PM

Sunday, September 28, 2003
i feel shitty. everyone is studying so hard and all (there's a current total of 3 out of 109 people online at this instant) and here i am, blogging everyday and not even opening my books. and yet i still complain about not doing well in my finals. -smirks- the beloved human psyche. (or maybe just mine...?) anyway. so far the day's been okay. fell down in the bathroom last night, 'cause my mum had just washed the toilet and it was slippery so yeah. went to bed with an aching ass (aliiteration. again! and again! *marvels at own stupidity*) and didn't feel like training in the morning so i locked the bedroom door. hahaha and it worked! she didn't wake me up! -blissful- i love sleeping. then had emaths tuition at 9.30 and ms millie (my teacher) looked so angry. hahaha. her face was so black because (i think) couple of the students switched around so they could attend amaths lesson on the same day as her lesson. sounds complicated, but it really isn't. =)

had steamboat for lunch! haha. so yummmmy*. but my family's steamboat is anything but conventional. we throw in all sorts of things like maggie mee and egg and sausages and prawns. hahah. is that what traditional chinese ppl do? i don't know. i feel like writing alot. hahaha. but on the other hand, i don't know what to write about. oh well.

money doesn't make a person rich. what makes a person richer or poorer are the kind of people they call friends. and with the friends i have, i think that i'm very rich indeed.

she smiled
at 2:14 PM

Saturday, September 27, 2003
rank these 5 animals in order of your preference: horse, sheep, pig, tiger, cow.
1. horse (represents family)
2. tiger (pride)
3. pig (money)
4. cow (career)
5. sheep (love)

write down on word you associate with these animals/things.
dog -- loyal (my own personality)
cat -- adorable (partner's personality)
rat -- sneaky (enemies personality)
coffee -- addictive (my view on romance)
sea -- serene (my view on life)

write down one friend with whom you associate the colour with.
yellow -- lulu (someone i'll never forget)
red -- tricia (someone i really love)
white -- -kelly (someone i perceive as my soulmate)
orange -- inka (someone i see as the one true friend)
green -- carol (someone i have unfinished business with)

i am now doubting the accuracy of this test that marie sent me. hahaha. i always thought i was a romantic, so why would i put sheep at the bottom? hahaha. i just liked the other animals more lol! and i definitely do not view life as 'serene'??! haha that's just weird. my life is ANYTHING but serene. =) hmmm. and erm tricia dun worry yeah?! haha red just reminded me of her bag. LOL! so lame! and carol... dear, dear. we have unfinished business, darling... *winkwinknudgenudge*

she smiled
at 8:21 PM

today has been majorly unproductive. didn't study a stitch so i'll have to try hard later. woke up at 10 this morning which means that i slept for a total of 12 hours since 10 last night. surprising that i slept so early, usually i fall asleep at 12 plus haha. hmmm. anyway. i'm so mad at tiong hyeh yun!! that girl stood me up. *roars* made me wait at the library for half an hour and she didn't even show. at least if she showed, then those fuckers wouldn't have been staring at me as if i was some retarded idiot waiting for her prince charming or something. wtf. -pissed- x(

cathecism was shit. we watched this video on 'the bible and it's greatest miracles' and some of the comments those critics made were so FUCKING ANNOYING that i wanted to hurl my phone at the screen. hahaha. *lame* oh well. i can't imagine what it'll be like for them to go to die and realise that there actually is a heaven and a God. i wonder how badly God will punish them for such blasphemy. pissing offing. whatever! then went to j8 after that and bought jay chou's the eight dimensions (or something like that. third album, apparently.) haha. my first chinese album!! hahaha. candice has influenced me lol. listening to it now, some song with the ending going 'wo jiu shi na tiao long' hahaha. it's the only line i can catch.

she smiled
at 8:10 PM

Friday, September 26, 2003
10 Ways To Get Thrown Out Of Chemistry Lab (and probably get a life-time ban)
1. Pretend an electron got stuck in your ear, and insist on describing the sound to others.
2. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, "Does this taste funny to you?"
3. Consistently write three atoms of potassium as "KKK."
4. Mutter repeatedly, "Not again... not again... not again."
5. When it's very quiet, suddenly cry out, "My eyes!"
6. Deny the existence of chemicals.
7. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
8. Casually walk to the front of the room and urinate in a beaker.
9. Pop a paper bag at the crucial moment when the professor is about to pour the sulfuric acid.
10. Show up with a 55-gallon drum of fertilizer and express an interest in federal buildings.

she smiled
at 7:16 PM

once again, i have a lot to say! hahaha. bear with me, please? lol. =) today was quite a good day. but, fellow threeniners be warned: sitting next to frances can damage your brains! x) anyway. today was scorching hot. hard to believe only yesterday it was pouring and pouring so hard. drawing on the glass windows next to me has become a thorough habit. hahaha. it sounds so lame but there's nothing to do at all in class (unless you count paying attention) and frances had so many nice markers (permanent markers, OHP markers, correction fluid) and to have a clean sheet of writing material next to me was so tempting... haha. can you imagine me just scribbling away? haha. xP hmmm. chemistry lesson (or CHAM-istry as pronounced by stephi) in the morning was shit. so hard to understand and to stay awake. x( i'm seriously going to fail my finals for chem. maybe manage a 40+ score if i can get lulu to teach me everything from redox onwards. *sighs* so dead.

chinese after that was RUBBISH!! omg. i hate tpg. had the test yesterday (and she returned it to us so quickly) and i thought i could manage a decent grade. BUT i got 27/50. *WAILLLLLLLL* not fair okay. han zi i got 23/25 and the cloze passage was 4/10 (expected la, so not that bad) but my zao ju i got ZEROOOOOO!! -pissed- chinese sucks. tpg can go to hell. didn't my sentences make any sense? wtf. *deep breath* hahaha anyway going to go out with hyeh yun tmr! yay! can't wait, even though it's only to take neos since she's mad 'cause we haven't taken one together before. haha. oh!! and she told me in class today (amidst all of tpg's "hou mian the na liang ge xue shen!") that my life is going to be very short. *horrified* oh no. so yupp. everybody must pray for me yeahs? i'm going to die young. hahhahaha *lame*.

mmmmm. oh! i realized that this week i've eaten noodles during recess about 4 times. hahaha. i don't even know why i buy it. i mean, it's so ex and so disgustingly plain and i can't even use my chopsticks properly. so the question remains unanswered. hahaha. but i've become so sick of eating the damn noodles i'm not going to touch them anymore for the rest of the year, and if i do, may i be condemned to the deepest pits of hell. *rolls eyes* can you feel the lameness in me building? haha. what's wrong with me today! lol. hmmm. hahaha the rest of the day was shit funny. frances would throw her eraser at marie and then say 'marie, my eraser.' then marie would pick it off her table and give it to frances. and frances would throw it at marie again. LOL! xD hahaha it doesn't sound very funny here, but i guess you had to be there. oh and i was vandalising everyone during emaths. started writing on frances, zijie, cheryl, yilin, qibing, alyssa, cupcake, jieying and val. hahaha. WITH PERMANENT MARKER! hahaha. -whooops- linn and jieying wrote back. and jieying scrawled all over my forearm with red ink. -scrutinizes said forearm-

not much really happened today, all in all. i just feel like writing i guess? :)
quote of the day:
(right after joteo returns us the summaries. frances got 20/25) "*wide-eyed* I think she's being sacarstic!" -- Frances.

she smiled
at 7:15 PM

Thursday, September 25, 2003
OH MY GOD. i just got back from school and my mother fetched me!!! ohmyshit. my dad was on his way there, and he was going to pick me up. and i couldn't call him 'cause NOBODY had a phone (am i the only idiot who brings her phone to school?) and i couldn't even use my OWN phone because my phone has a TEMPER and the FUCKING FREQUENCY is FUCKING SHIT. so you can imagine how horribly frustrated i am now. i tried to msg him in the toilet just now and i couldn't 'cause of that bloody frequency shit problem. I HATE MY PHONE. fucking shit. it only lets my read/reply messages and make calls as and when the damn frequency feels like working. i feel like i'm stuck in a lift.

-deep breath- anyway. today was okay i guess. cat class was boring (again) so had to entertain myself with writing poems. :) wrote one for frances (who's sitting next to me now) and the other was rubbish la. hmmmm. then the chinese test later on was quite easy! quite surprising too, since i only studied the words last night and this morning haha. maybe i can get a decent grade for once. haha. hope so, anyway. the rest of the day was pretty boring. oh! but carol got confused about how fish mate! damn comical! and that stupid joteo wants to put that fish incident plus my stupid bird incidnent on the school mag. -scowls- it wasn't my fault! haha...

afternoon study was quite funny too. 'cause carol and stephi (who taught me matrices! thanks loads sweetie.) were telling me about what a deprived childhood i had. haha. and just 'cause their parents used ridiculous baby language on them:
Carol: *shouting to no one in particular* What is the meaning of 'pom-pom'?
Qibing and Chris: *simultaneously* Bathe.
Me: *raised eyebrow*
Stephi: *gleefully* deprived childhood!
hahahaha. it was really cute. oh, did i mention that my class has appointed me as the quote collector? carol, stephi, sam and roxy would all call me during any funny parts in lessons and gesture excitedly for me to write it down. hahaha. cute.

she smiled
at 6:28 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2003
back again! haha. i wrote some poems, so tell me what you think? i'm not much of a professional and i guess it'll sound crappy but oh well. i'm trying! haha. x)

.can, but can't.
you can laugh at me, i don't care.
you can look at me as if i'm not there.
you can mock me when i'm not around.
you can try all you want to get me down.
you can ignore me or just leave me be.
you can laugh with your friends about how dumb i can be.
you can backstab me -- just be sure of your facts,
you can shout at me -- if it'll help you relax.
you can hurl your abuses but i hope you'll see,
and i hope you know it won't work on me.
because i know who i am, even if you don't you,
but to get angry is just not what i'd do.
'cause if there's one thing i know you'll see...
you can never stop me from being me.

.places and pleas.
confusion engulfs me.
i'm swirling around.
lost in a dream,
where there's nothing to be found,
the darkness is eternal.
the nights are long.
the sunlight is fading.
every question is wrong.
so many questions,
and so little in reply.
all around forgotten friendships,
and lovelorn sighs.
reach out your hand,
i need to see.
right now i need
to find my sanctuary.
the place in which
all wishes are the truth,
the place where i
can be with you.
a place for refuge,
of a world so unkind.
a place of peace,
for soul, body and mind.
a place of beauty.
a place of eternity.
of love and joy,
and tranquil serenity.
so reach out your hand...
if only to hold
someone who needs you
in a place so cold.

she smiled
at 8:06 PM

i'm such a ditz. i was completely embarrassed today! -hides face- but i'll swallow my pride and tell you lot anyway, 'cause i know it was pretty funny haha. it was english period, for the first two, and joteo gave us (yet another) comprehension excerise to do. needless to say, i was so bored and annoyed that i kept myself amused by staring out of the window. (hahaha i do that A LOT!) and then i saw this bundle of black feathers hopping and flopping on the ground and i was so shocked! so i said:

me: *absently and loudly* OH MY GOD!
me: No no! BIRD!
joteo: *very annoyed* Why are you looking at the birds?!
me: *starts shrieking* It's injured, OH MY GOD! IT'S INJURED!!
joteo: *crosses over*
at this very moment, the bundle of feathers breaks apart into TWO BIRDS! no prizes for guessing what they were doing! and then everyone started laughing and laughing and laughing and joteo said 'DID YOU PASS YOUR SCIENCE LAST YEAR?!" and i was so completely mortified. -winces- hahaha. though it's not really my fault that i thought that the 'bird' was injured. they were making such shrieking noises just moments ago. but now i know that those were ummm... cries of passion?? lol! i tripped twice today, as if my earlier mortification wasn't enough, and the class laughed at me again when i got confused with the literature booklet and couldn't find a simple poem. -malu-

anyway, mrs mah is back! glad to see her again, although now it's back to the boring amaths lessons in which i'd rather shave my head than pay attention. i don't understand matrices at all! haha. but that's my fault, i guess haha. hmmmm oh and physics wasn't as boring thankfully! haha 'cause i made john sit with me since frances sat at nat's place next to lulu (nat had kindly ditched me to be all alone. -sobs-) so i wouldn't be lonely. (val and jieying are mean! they wouldn't sit with me! -sniff-) and yeah, talked quite a bit. john: hey you.. don't know if you'll read this, but i'm just trying my luck anyway. tk care of yourself yeah? i don't really understand everything that happened but i suppose i can tell you're upset about it...? well, i don't have the answers (you should know i'm a shitty adviser on stuff) but just keep in mind my suggestion and if you want me to go with you i'll definitely go yeah? your a great friend and i'd hate for you to be unhappy! x) haha. so yupps. tk care alright and quit trying to bimbo-walk! hahaha. -bighugs-

oral today was HELL. i'm going to fail and that bloody tpg was staring at me as if i'm some retarded ass. (okay so maybe i am, but she's a teacher and she's not supposed to do that!) -weeps- oh no. i'm going to get shit marks all over again. *sighs* life isn't fair. oh well. afternoon study was pretty okay too, but i spent a good 2 hours trying to study my damn chinese text and in the end cupcake couldn't even test me spelling 'cause i couldn't remember a single one. *sighs* i'm going to fail that damn CA tomorrow. *sighs* oh speaking of cupcake, she scrawled on my arm 'cupcake loves you! x)' (as i did hers! i'm being too influenced! oh no! somebody save me!) and my dad saw it as he was fetching me home. hahaha. he was *pretty* amused. lol! anyway. i want to say something more but i forgot what. oh well.

she smiled
at 7:04 PM

are you having a tough time trying to stay off your computer? do you find yourself doodling on textbooks and staring at people planting seeds in measley garden plots during class time? are you constantly drawing turtles on plastic cups? have you been failing your chinese tests while the rest of the class passes? have you? have you? if the answer is YES, then it's time to get your lazy ass off that chair and start slogging! here's the recommended schedule for the one week holiday: from monday to friday, for every three hours of studying, have two hours of relaxing. if you follow the schedule faithfully, you will end up studying/"studying" (looking at the first page of textbooks for 1/2 an hour is not counted) for approximately 9 hours every day. and if you STILL can't finish your homework and revision with 45hours of studying time, good luck to you and your future.

from gk's blog!! OMG SO FUNNY!! hahahaha. how'd she know that's exactly what i do...?

she smiled
at 12:00 AM

Tuesday, September 23, 2003
-deep breath- i have a lot to talk about today! hahaha. =) so all of you can sit back and enjoy my words of wisdom. -beams- hahah. okay. oh something funny happened this morning! stupid john was getting mydarkingupcakenumber#1 to teach her how to do the bimbo walk! L-O-L!! hahahaha. she can't even master the girl walk and she wants to do the bimbo walk. hahaha. don't change john! we need an ape like you in class! x) hahaha. that was stupid, but -ohwell- i find the oddest things funny. (nat said that to me today too, on how i observe the strangest things.)

CME exam was today and thankfully it took up the chinese periods. haha. but it was so full of shit. i didn't believe a single word i wrote down on my paper! not even the one on pre-marital sex blahblah. haha don't get me wrong! i'm nt a slut or whatever and have such loose morals but to me, if it happens, it happens. of course both should be well aware of the consequences and stuff, but if they're both so deeply in love (and not just pure lust) that they feel they're responsible enough to take the relationship a step further, then why not? haha. i don't know, it's just my opinion although i know lyss is very adamant against it!! lol!

hahaa i have a lot more to say about how shittified our government is to actually HAVE a moral education EXAM but i'll spare your sensitive ears. -smirks- anyway. joteo made us sit in our reg no arrangement. and i'm pretty sure she's not going to let us change back anymore. actually i'm quite happy sitting in this arrangement, 'cept that i'm too far front and everyone else (with the exception of nat who's pitifully stuck at the teacher's table) haha. maybe i'm a loner. sometimes i like sitting alone. and i do pay more attention this way. hahaha *nerd*. hmmmm. the day was pretty normal after that. haha roxy was listening out for quotes too! lol. x)

hmmm. oh!! my damn chinese orals are tomorrow! and i still haven't read the paper she gave us on topics that'll come out. and nat said it was damn hard! if it was so hard i'm D-E-A-D tomorrow! last year tpy gave me a 3/10 for some part of the stupid oral. so depressing. this year, i'm banking on tpg to give me a prompt in which she will explain and explain and answer her own questions and explain somemore and carry on talking and talking and talking.... then i won't have to say anything! -prays hard- i hope that's what'll happen anyway. haha x) oh and we have english orals this year too. oh no. i'm going to sound like some lian who can't speak PRO-PAH english (as joteo puts it). seriously, this year my english has taken a nosedive for the deepest pits of hell. -hangs head- i'm doomed. =(

afternoon study today was quite okay! but *someone* was sooo busy talking to her darling qb, she forgot to talk to her *other* darling! felt so lamppost-tish. hahaha. don't kill me! but anyway. i managed to get some geog notes done, which is quite an achievement! haha. i don't know how in the world i managed to pass geog in the first semester when i didn't have any notes at all! haha i guess my guardian angel watches over me... (i always try and say thank you whenever things happen but somehow doesn't affect me. like when i drop a fork in the kitchen, it'll hit the other end and away from my feet, and not jab my poor toes. haha. so i always thank my angel!) but maybe my angel is on MC (and not surprising too, since it has to keep up with my daily uncountable sins, the poor thing. "if you're gonna sin, sin whole-heartedly!" <-- that's my motto when it comes to sinning. i am truly evil.) she/he (it?) doesn't seem to be here right now when my exams are only a few sunrises away! oh no!! -sighs- oh well. punsishment i guess.

anyway, amath tuition after that. i might not be joining back my tuition class next year, 'cause it really isn't helping my amaths grades much and even though i really hate to leave everyone (you know who you are!) and my teacher too, it's just not making any difference in my grades. -sobs- maybe i should work harder too la... =( talked to mydarling there a little. and she sounded so irritated. oh no. don't be irritated okay darling? you know you have nothing to worry about at all so don't imagine things! she cares for you so damn damn much (i could tell, okay, and you're not supposed to doubt your cupcake. you promised. under the cupcake-101-oath. xP) so yupp. give her the benefit of the doubt more often yeahs. i don't think she's the kind who'll just play people! -bighugsandsloppykisses- you darling of mine. don't be sad!! you'll see. things will change! and if she's not going to make the first move, darll, then you'll have to. either way (you know i'm a lousy adviser) ilu. always and forever+

don't i have a lot to say today? hahaha. i don't know. i had a weird dream yesterday, and it was so scary and frightening i woke up screaming. at least, i think i did, i don't really know. but i know i was screaming. at least 3 times. it was shit scary. dreamt of the place outside our school, near philips, and me and someone else (i can't remember, but we were both in school uniforms) were walking down. then i saw this kitten walking in the middle of the road and i was like 'oh no!' and was telling it in my head, 'move to the other side! quick! before the cars run you over!!' and it obeyed! so i was damn shocked. so i sent it another thought 'go into the factory, you'll be safer there.' and it obeyed!! so i was pretty darn happy (who wouldn't be, if they knew they could talk to animals!) until i saw the DARK SHADOWS with a pair of RED EYES GLEAMING FROM THEM. i was like FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT. so i started shouting at it (all this time the cat was going closer and closer towards it, my stupid thought-network must have been disabled.) and it emerged! fucking shit it was a damn JAGUAR! and i was screaming 'OH MY GOD!!' and then the STUPID BLIND kitten walked in front of it and the jaguar put its head down and bit it's neck AND BEGAN EATING IT!!!!!!!!!!!! i started screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming. can you imagine how i felt? that was the shittiest dream in the world. -cries-

after that, the dream started becoming weird. haha i was on my way to sentosa in a bus which i was driving! reached world trade centre and got onto a SHIP which was like so high-tech and designed damn nicely (second time i dreamt of this!) and the next moment, we were off to space. ('we' 'cause i don't know who else was there. damn freaky to have a dream and not know who you're with!) yes, space. -raises eyebrow- and on our way to an alternate-earth. (?!?!?!) but along the way, something happened in the space thingy. i'm nt sure what, but all i know is that i heard the phrase 'by a code of conduct of -something something-, when one of us dies, ALL OF US SHALL DIE." then i saw this explosion, where a spacecraft had exploded and these separate space capsules each holding on astronaught. then the leader (some cacausian guy i've never seen before) assembled all of the people and said, "This is it. On the count of three." and on the count of three they all plunged straight DOWN INTO THE EXPLOSION AND KILLED THEMSELVES! i was horrified! -stunned-

they say dreams have meanings. symbolic and otherwise. i think i can sort of understand this one, and i'm not liking it too much. it's so scary and so depressing. =( oh no.

she smiled
at 11:45 PM

Monday, September 22, 2003
alyssa: hahaha about what i said abt you liking mr yap, i didn't mean it that way!! it just sounded like that. haha. serious!! everyone took it out of context! haha but sorry, guess i wasn't that specific anyway... i hope you're not mad at me...? -hugs- i'm sorry dear. =(

she smiled
at 7:49 PM

! You are Most Like A Ruby !
Passionate, in control - and very sexy. You tend to
be more dominant, and people long to possess your
wild nature. People find you fun, and a real live
You're most like a Ruby because people simply can't
take their eyes away from you - your bright
nature draws people to you.
Congratulations ... You're the sparkly fun gem
everybody craves.

?? Which Precious Gem Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

hahahaha. so coincidental. that's my birthstone! haha. but it's not me. =)

she smiled
at 7:43 PM

happiness. bliss. joy. hahaha. not words i usually use to sum up a monday, but. =) today's been great! haha. quite, anyway. had PE in the morning and we did rock-climbing! -beams- but i can't climb for shit with shoes on and without a safety harness so yeah... haha kinda embarrassed myself! -goes red- LOL! mmmm. and tjl has a nice butt. hahahaha not like i was staring at it (!!) but really, when she climbed the thing and squatted i saw. she really does have a nice ass. lucky her. -snickers- x)

anyway. then chem after that was sorta okay... paid a little attention, could even solve a few problems! -pats self- so proud of myself. hahha. *ego* then i missed recess 'cause i went to see mrs ho. she's damn nice man! and quite fun to talk to lol. and she knows my aunts! i guess that isn't really surprising since she taught at chij victoria street, but still! hahaha and my aunt knows mrs siow too. lol. it's a small world isn't it? x) then the counselling was so long, i missed physics. haha and i thought i had it made! no physics test and joteo wouldn't know a thing! but! Murphy's law: if anything can go wrong, it will. -sigh- joteo and eric tan were *both* there. -grumbles- and mr tan made me do the stupid physics test after school (-BIG SIGHS-). english was shit boring. joteo is getting boring. whole life talk abt her precious politics and blahblahblah. -annoyed- oh well. chinese after that was okay la. not so bad. paid attention! hahaha but i guess i should start again, since the damn eoys are coming! -breaks down- oh well. assembly period was boring (as always) but yeahh. hahaha since joteo was the speaker it was better than normal...? i guess so. =)

afternoon study after that was lame. so little people! since nat and some others went for chinese oral (mine's on wed! -eeeeeekkkk!!-) and the higher chinese girls went for their prelims. hope they all did well! x) missed my cupcake! so sad okay. studying by myself with only stephi and abish in front since chris and carol were both sick. -sobs- missed her like hell. she better be honoured to hear this!! x) LOL i'm so lame today. -shakes head- but yeahh. ahaha i hope she's not still mad at ... . hahaha -hugsmycupcakenumber#1- love you!!

she smiled
at 7:26 PM

Sunday, September 21, 2003
"Diplomacy is to fuck the other side. Deterrence is to fuck the other side with knives and guns." -- Shireen. class quotes are up!! go and see! they rock man. hahaha 'cause i did them! LOL. x) anyway, thanks stephi, nat and carol who did all the hard work! i have a lot to say today. haha i feel like writing! yay! and all of you can be entertained by my funny words. -gags!- hahhaha i'm being a prig. excuse me! xP

oh!! mel and i were very very very bored in cat class. it was about saints and stuff and obviously we're not saints so... haha. that was lame. anyway we were passing notes and she wrote them in chinese. her -sighs- = -tan qi- and her guestbook = guest ben. and she wrote a song for me yesterday too! wen na sha ah wen na sha! ni de ming zi hao xiang yi li sa! wo men yi tian yi ding yao dao hai bian wan sha! ha ha ha. LOL! don't even ask me what yi li sha has to do with anything! apparently it's the chinese name for elizabeth, minus the bai at the end. haha oh well! =) ilovemymelliedarling. -smucks- x)

she smiled
at 2:33 PM

yilin is finallie updating!
did i mention i like to read vanessa's blog?
cus its so colourful and in-ter-est-ting.
haha. i mean other blogs are also interesting.
but hers is crappy. and veri "i write my thots down" kinda blog

dotdotdot. hahahaha. linn is evil. meanie! haha and i wrote you a shout out too... never mention me. -sobs- hahaha. anyway. glad you like reading my blog! -smucks- love you dearieee.

she smiled
at 2:04 PM

My Bloginality is ENFP!!! it's pretty accurate! haha so go and give it a shot =)

today's been fine so far i guess. had training this morning which was tiring as hell. but i haven't really been training la so can't blame the coach. x) then went for tuition where my mum signed my bro up for maths tuition for sec 1 when he hasn't even taken his PSLE. -raises eyebrow- she's so annoying. always pushing and pushing and pushing. can't she relax for even a second? she's so uptight. i tell you if you shoved a lump of coal up her ass and twist it, you'd get a diamond. haha. Ferris Bueller's quote, not mine. *angelic* haha. anyway... i'm shit bored. nothing to do. well, not really nothing to do, but nothing that interests me anyway (think studying... revision... all those evil words!

haha. anyway, i'm really bored. and tired and sleepy. i want my bed. i want everyone to go away and come back next year. -sighs- sucha bitch. oh well. got this from gen's email:

1. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? 6 on school days...

2. IF YOU COULD EAT LUNCH WITH ONE FAMOUS PERSON, WHO WOULD IT BE? aaron carter? haha i dunnoe... or maybe clay aiken! haha. then he can sing to me while i eat my desert of whatever. LOL!

3. GOLD OR SILVER? silver! gold is so ahma haha. but of course in competitions etc gold's the best la =)

4. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? hmmm this is hard. haha. i think it was bruce almighty. i can't really remember la.

5. FAVOURITE TV SHOW? charmed, gilmore girls, dexter's lab... oh! spongebob squarepants!! hahahaha! it's the most stupid/lame/funny-like-shit show ever! -kisses spongebob-

6. WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? rubbish. haha ermmm just a milo or a coffee. can't really take food so early. =)

7. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH? mmmmm. a few friends to gossip and bitch about! currently i wanna talk to my mellie darling again. hahha i miss her!! -hugsmel-

8. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? nope hahaha my tongue is too short. but it's a pretty tongue okay! haha -gross-

9.WHAT INSPIRES YOU? life, my kick-ass friends, quotes etc.. haha i don't really have only one source of inspiration.

10. WHAT'S YOUR MIDDLE NAME? ann. haha but my mum wants my confirmation name to be clare (clare of assissi or sth like that) so it'll be vanessa ann clare vanderstraaten. haha so weird! =s

11. BEACH, CITY, OR COUNTRY? all are okay.. though i prefer beaches more! tanning! haha. and country's a bit dull la but qt okay if i'm feeling melancholic? lol.

12.SUMMER OR WINTER? summer i guess... i haven't experienced winter yet! -sobs- so deprived.

13. FAVOURITE FOOD? just food. haha i'm a pig -- just feed me. *angelic* x)

14. BUTTERED, PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? salted. the rest taste funny ahaha.

15. FAVOURITE CAR ? porsche! haha i don't know la. not like i can afford a car and drive it right lol.

16. FAVOURITE SANDWICH FILLING? mayo! haha ham, bacon, cheese. haha i don't know la. JUST FEED ME~

17. FAVOURITE TYPE OF MUSIC? pop. hahaha i'm such a teenybopper. rock, country, oldies+ballads, rap's fine too. x) so quick all of you go out and buy me HMV!

19. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE? dishonesty and backstabbing-ness. haha. just 'cause i guess.

20. FAVOURITE FLOWER? daisies! hahaha and lilies.

21. IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN IN THE LOTTERY, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT TO SPEND ALL? just a little while. i've to call my parents first! and hire a bodyguard to take me to the bank, scream my lungs out and make sure no one from sch knows... *evil grin*

22. DO YOU WEAR PYJAMAS? nope... sleep in whatever i'm wearing at the moment. haha that's why i fall asleep pretty easily too =)

23. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? brown. darkish amber. haha i don't know!


25 WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO RETIRE? by the beach! in a little cottage with the sea breeze blowing in the day-time.. haha so NOT me!

26. CAN YOU JUGGLE? nope. hahaha i'm a psycho-motor moron.

27. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY OF THE WEEK? most days just 'cause i see my friends and we'll just go mad haha. but mondays suck. xP -pukes-

28. RED OR WHITE WINE? red looks more classy but i don't drink anyway so yeahh haha can't really answer that. =)

29. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? ummmm. this year? stayed at hme and went online. hahah it's really depressing i know.

30. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? nope. should i?

31.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? nothing... got no time to read haha.

32. FAVOURITE BOARD GAME? cluedo. hahahaha the rest are quite boring since there're card games and all now.

33. FAVOURITE MAGAZINE? lime. seventeen, teens, teenage too. i think lime is the only one with a cute name. -raises eyebrow-

34. FAVOURITE SMELLS? rain! haha grass after it's just rained.

35. COMFORT FOOD? i don't eat comfort food haha. it's not very comforting! i just cry and sleep it off lol. but if i did, i guess it'd be chocolate! -highfives carol-

36.FAVOURITE SOUND? my name! haha.x) and the school bell right after chem/phys/chinese/amath. *innocent* =)

37. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? unhappiness, insecurity, hatred, bitterness and guilt! haha. so many right -sighs-

38. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? shit. hahhaa if i was more coherent, i'd be cursing.

39.FAVOURITE FAST FOOD PLACE? burger king, macs...most places la. don't really have one in particular.

41. FINISH THIS STATEMENT. "IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY... i would donate some to my school, some to charity, some to my mother and father, save some and BLOW the rest on everything i want! x) *wishful thinking*

44. STORMS, COOL OR SCARY? both. hahaha i'm still kinda freaked by lightning and thunder claps and all, but mostly it's just nice to snuggle in bed and sleep with all the rain pouring outside. =)

47. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, "IF I HAD THE TIME, .... i would start writing stories again, take up acting, singing (again!), dancing (classical) classes.

48. DO YOU EAT STEMS OF BROCCOLI? (gen go and die! xP) i hate brocolli! haha even though i've yet to eat it but still...

49. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? reddish streaks! and overall lightening of the hair la. =)

50. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? a pull out bed, a little dust, lots of my poor hair. haha don't know why i just lose hair like mad.

she smiled
at 2:02 PM

Saturday, September 20, 2003
happy...shalala everybody should be happy... hahah that stupid song is stuck in my head! but im feeling so happy! haha dunnoe why. talked to alyssa yesterday and caught up on stuff. haha can't help thinking it's so coincidental that we were both so happy for the same (or similar anyway) reason! haha. love you lots dear don't you ever forget that! -hugs-

anyway, life sucks. i haven't started studying for my stupid finals yet. so dead. and i can't seem to force myself to study when i'm at hme or alone. wish the damn school had afternoon study for the past month instead of 10 days before stopping. not much use right?! wtf. i'm on an emotional rollercoaster. feeling so happy and sad and angry all at the same time. -puzzled- oh well.

confide in me your nightmares.
touch me with your dakness.
trust me with your thoughts.
embrace me with your words.
tempt me with your passions.
let my soul be the pillow for your tears...

she smiled
at 1:38 PM

Friday, September 19, 2003
today has been satisfying! haha. was so tired (as always!) 'cause i had a bad night last night and yeah... my eyes hurt! =( and everytime i put my head down on the table i nearly fell asleep. like i almost dozed off in chem this morning. but i persevered! -beams- actually listened and paid attention and i could do all those sums with some help from nat. haha so proud of myself! xD mmmmm. but i got 16/35 for my chemistry test. -sobs- oh well. not like i studied so hard. mainly copied off nat anyway. =) the rest of the day was pretty boring la. not much going on throughout... 'cept that yappers didn't come and we had PC class early! haha. quite enjoy PC class with that mrs ho. have an appointment with her on monday too. anyway, watched this stupid video abt some relationship things. omg that was just pure horror! everyone was just laughing so hard and rolling their eyes! hahaha. lameshit. hmmm. after that nothing much happened. too much cold and too much rain, too much heartache to explain...

(nick carter rocks.) anyway. afternoon study today was quite okay. sat next to mycupcake again but we studied!! hahaha. well, not really studied la. just did our amaths hw. and that took 2 hrs itself! wtf. ahaha i hate that bloody mrs whatever. so annoying! -pissed- oh well. but she's a better teacher than mrs wong la. even if she can't hear herself speak. x) bored. crapping. HYPED! hahaha. i do not make sense. =)

//The Eyes of A Dragon.//
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a dragon?
Seen their heart, and known their soul?
Have you ever seen the stairsteps to heaven
that within them reside, and show their bright role?
Do you know their songs, their ancient harmonies
Do you know their past, and their wisdom hold?
Can you hold the world in the palm of your hand
and with storm-worn wings, curl and enfold,
to heal the world, to show the way,
and be a banner unfurled to light of day?
This is a dragon, a creature of light,
No, they are not gone, just taken to flight.

she smiled
at 7:41 PM

Thursday, September 18, 2003
for those who've asked, the guestbook is under 'notes' in the link box. haha. thanks to all of you! -hugs-

anyway, today was just boring. cat class was just rubbish. slept through most of it, sometimes (i think) even with my mouth open! *blushes* regret not ponning with mycupcake! -sobs- haha. i don't mean to sound unholy or anything but yeah... i think the teacher just can't hold the interest la. ~whatever. hmmmm. physics was quite satisfying! though it was pretty confusing and hard to understand and we kept bombarding Mr Tan with so many questions (which i started since i couldn't understand how pressure lowers the melting point when it actually means increasing it. go figure! x)) i still think it was quite a good lesson on the whole. paid attention especially since there was a new teacher (or maybe cadet) sitting just next to me in tash's place. maybe if they got a different teacher to come in everyday to sit next to me i'd get top grades. haha. *wishful thinking* x)

amaths was so annoying. trigo sucks. and that stupid mrs however-you-spell-it is the biggest imbecilic idiot in the world. can't stand her. she was constantly screaming and screaming and shrieking and shouting. maybe she should scream a *little* louder... I DON'T THINK THE PEOPLE IN ANTARCTICA HEARD HER!! *wails* my poor ears. haha. oh and it was raining so hard today too. we're getting a little of the typhoon in hongkong or whatever. =) english was dead boring. joteo was being a bitch. sent almost the entire class out 'cause they didn't do their homework. i did it, but it was so stupid to just sit there with cheryl and analyse the damn summary with 9 other people. -raises eyebrow- xP

afternoon study was... dotdotdot. haha. all i managed to do was complete my amaths and emaths (mr yap will be *so* pleased!) homework. which totals about 10 sums in total. how very productive! hahaha and all thanks to mycupcake who sat next to me 'studying' her physics. more like feeding her imaginary friend limbo ('L' for ... and 'imbo' for bimbo!) lollies! LOL!! hahaha xD but i had a great time with her although i guess we (rachie, helena, carol, chris, stephi, abish, qibing and me) were pretty loud and probably pissed off some of our classmates. whoooops. so sorry you guys! x( mmmmmm. then went home with gk. even saw my meimei and cheryl on the bus! haha. love you both lots yeah. -hugs-

notes for... tash! you poor girl! sucks to hear you got the flu, but was it really me who passed it to you? haha i don't remember having it! LOL. and you're more sickly than me d'you realize! hahaha. lameshit. anyway, get well soon darling! missing you already! -smucks- shireen! heyy. missed you for two days already... don't know whether you'll see this but i don't know your number either so i can't msg you. anyway, tk care alright? this is one helluva dark patch you're going through and you probably feel like giving up, but you must remember that all your friends will be right there waiting to wipe away your tears. -hugsandkisses- ilu.

she smiled
at 7:28 PM

changed the template. -crosses fingers- a little boring, but orlando is dropdead gorgeous. hahaha. x) ppl, from now on sign the guestbook okay? thanks lots! -hugsallaround-

she smiled
at 12:19 AM

Wednesday, September 17, 2003
today was fun! haha not really *that* fun, since there was lotsa studying to do and rubbish like that, but still. i'm in love with my class. hahaha seriously, we rock! haha lameshit. didn't blog yesterday so blogged on paper instead:

11.30 now. so damn late and i'm so damn tired and i'm doing my stupid fucking zuo wen now. wtf. i want tpg to die. xP anyway, today was quite a nice day la. went to school half dead 'cause i was so tired since i slept at one the night before (doing another of tpg's stupid essays that she can't seem to forget.) -yawwn- anyway. chinese first 2 periods. nearly strangled that stupid woman. and i would have too, if i'd had any energy to even stand. oh! NEWS! for the first time in my life, i handed in my zuo wen *early*. just bullshitted my way through as usual, and i thought maybe i'd get brownie points for effort. then that fucking shit turns to me and says zhe ge zuo wen bu tai hao. bu ke yi zhe yang xie blahblahblah. GO TO HELL. she's so like my mother, it's scary! honestly, i simply can't please the both of them right. haha. but tpg's one up 'cause she never seems to call on me in class. maybe for that i'll try to stop hating her so much. LOL.

hmmm. then geog after recess was just insanity. god. i wrote half of what everyone else wrote. couldn't even finish one side of full-scap, even with the notes that i copied from. couldn't really help cheating, 'cause i hadn't time to study the night before but anyway i hereby pledge to stop cheating on geog. x) so guai haha. got my report card back too. didn't fail anything for the past 2 mths! -thrilled- but i think that's 'cause i haven't got back my chem test yet. oh well. gotta study harder though. exams are so close!! *WAIL* ME period after that was shit boring. stupid joteo did nothing except talk abt her shitty politics. but afternoon study after that was okay. quite productive actually. x) managed to memorise half a chapter of physics. although i had to go to the other side of the class so i wouldn't drive nat insane with my constant muttering. x) haha. ooops.

that's yesterday's blog. -hohum- i realise i write too much. i've got pieces of paper EVERYWHERE with quotes from TV shows or lyrics from random songs on the radio and i'm on my third notebook in 9 months. yeah i definitely write too much! haha. hmmm. today was pretty good though i was still tired (slept at one again. all thanks to tpg.) i'm so sleep-deprived. -sobsob- lol. ponned amaths (stupid indian woman with the forever shrieking voice reliefing mrs mah til she gets back from vancouver. haha. actually this teacher is pretty good but i just DON'T LIKE HER. lol.) with mycupcake. haha just sat in the toilet and talked lots. =) -hugsmycupcaketight- love you mynumber#1! haha. lame. hmmmm. oh then recess was funny as hell. tasha sat with us and since gen was helping me with my compo (i still hadn't finished the blasted thing) tash was trying to help. haha. and she said "You mean your commas take up one *box*?!" and "So you cannot write capital letters right?" hahhahahhahaa. goon.

phys was reliefed by tpy. and she wrote on the board "Physics test postphoned to Monday." nearly died laughing! postphoned??? hahaha. and the whole class (nearly, anyway) was eating lollies, myself included, in front of her and i don't think she even knew! *yummmmmy* thanks marie! x) afternoon study was not very productive. hardly got any studying done, except for some amaths questions. *sigh* =( i'm gonna get retained. *cries* shit man i really have to start studying now, so i might not come online all that often. *wails* no one else will ever know, the part of me that can't let go.

she smiled
at 8:06 PM

Monday, September 15, 2003
back to school today. was quite fun haha. i'm such a geek. oh well. x) got to see everyone again! haha missed them all man. lol. PE in the morning was quite fun, got to play bball a little. my shooting was completely off today! not that it was ever that good or whatever, but today it was worse than usual. haha. anyway, i was playing with chris against marie and jess and i slammed right into chris! omg. (whoooops.) and dented her specs a little. so sorry! *embarrassed* xP anyway, all in all, today was quite okay. haha not much to blog about though, 'cept that chinese was supremely annoying. tpg is SITLL CHASING ME FOR THE FUCKING ESSAY. can someone PLEASE tell her that if a student doesn't hand up an assignment within a month, that she should JUST GIVE THE HELL UP! -exhales- so mad. =( now i've to do 2 essays and tomorrow we still have one to do. I HATE CHINESE.

exams are coming up fast. so annoying. honestly, i can't really see myself doing that well (graduating?) or even maintaining double science next year. i've been sucha slacker this year. worse than ever. mrs wong will definitely tell me to drop chem and i'll probably be forced to if my physics end-year bombs. have to make sure i pass physics! my last hope! haha. ARGH. school bites. afternoon study tomorrow though. =) quite happy about that.

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming,
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights.
oh, how i long for the deep sleep dreaming,
the goddess of imaginary light...

she smiled
at 6:45 PM

Sunday, September 14, 2003
i'm mad. hahaha. quizmad. -gleeful-

I walked outside and blew kisses into the sky. So one day you'll be sitting down or maybe on a walk and all of a sudden, seemingly out of the blue, you'll stop to think of me. Only it will be because those kisses finally found their way to you.

she smiled
at 5:40 PM


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
i took this ^^ test twice. haha and both times the results are pretty accurate! x)

Noon - You are pleasant, friendly, and an overall
nice person. You enjoy the energy and activity
of the daytime, and tend to be very productive.

When are you?
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You Are Beauty
You are Beauty.

You are beautiful, whether it be on the inside, the
outside, or both. People are drawn to you as
strongly as you are drawn to the beauty in the
world around you.

What Emotion Are You?
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Pirates of the Caribbean!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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she smiled
at 5:37 PM

you are blood

Blood, Sweat, and Tears
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Sweet Dreams
"Sweet Dreams" (by Eurythmics)
Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Which 80's Song Fits You?
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You are strong, and very fast. You like to see just how far you can push people. You aren't afraid to just go right out and do what you want to because you're pretty damn sure no
You are a Shark.
You are strong, and very fast. You like to see just
how far you can push people. You aren't afraid
to just go right out and do what you want to
because you're pretty damn sure no one could
stop you. You are a little selfish sometimes
but you do it because you have to. You believe
that you must beat out the competition and be
on top. And you usually are. If someone tries
to stand in your way, you're not afaid to slap
them back down to ant status and keep on going.
No sweat off your jaws...I

What Is Your Inner Wild Animal?
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Sun Goddess
Goddess of the Sun and there's no doubt that you
have a bright and cheery exterior!

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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she smiled
at 5:33 PM

Stellar!  I'm Serena!
Which Daughters of the Moon Character are You?Find out!

Ooh...I'm Rachel!
Which 'Friend' Are You?Find out!

Ok...I have a Joyful Personality
What's Your Personality?Find out!

A pirates life for me...
Which Pirates of the Carribean character are you? Find out @ RelentlessDivas.Net!

she smiled
at 5:31 PM

-bliss- happiness! woke up at 6.45 today and went back to sleep smiling 'cause it meant that my mum didn't wake me to go swimming! *cheer* x) hahaha. such a slacker. then woke up again at 10.10 after a very strange and funny dream and realised she forgot that i had emath tuition at 9.30. hahaha. but it didn't last very long. stupid bro went to ask my mum why am i missing tuition. then she dragged me out of bed and made me go. haha. but i skipped and went to Macs for breakfast instead. quite lonely eating breakfast alone though. xP Long lost words whisper slowly to me... Still can't find what keeps me here.

oh, and i watched The Leage of Extraordinary Gentlemen today too. quite a nice show, but it didn't really
have much of an 'oomph' to it...? hahaha. and the director obviously likes all the stunts and special effects. oh and fighting scenes too, 'cause there were a lot of those haha. "You broke my heart once. This time, you missed." -- Mina Harker.

hmmmm. i'm bored outta my mind. school starts again tomorrow. and unfortunately i have to go, with a bag full of homework that's been stared at and cursed at and ultimately ignored. -sob- joteo's going to kill me.

"*amused*So what now, Jack Sparrow? We 2 immortals locked in an epic battle 'til the trumpet sounds on Judgement Day?" -- Captain Barbossa.
"*thoughtfully*Or you could surrender." -- Captain Jack Sparrow.

she smiled
at 5:30 PM

Saturday, September 13, 2003
just finished watching pirates of the caribbean! OH MY GOD. it's the best show i've ever watched! seriously! haha. johhny depp is the most talented actor i've ever seen. -squeals- haha. copied about 4 pages of quotes! LOL. i have no life right. x) "Elizabeth's safe, like I promised, and she's about to become Mrs Norrington, like she promised, and you get to die for her, like you promised. So we're all med of our word, except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman."-- Captain Jack Sparrow. hahaha. couldn't stop laughing. jerry bruckheimer and crew did a brilliant job! *standing ovation* x)

anyway, today's been boring. nothing to do at all. tried to study physics a little, so my mother wouldn't say anything. -annoyed- oh well. ahhh! i still can't get over how great pirates of the caribbean was! LOL. "You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here, there be monsters." -- Barbossa.

rach: heyy cupcake. -hugs- don't know if you'll read this but i just wanna say/tell you to just ignore those fuckers who keep signing your guestbook and leaving rubbish there. they're not worth your time you hear. -hugs- love you babe. and there are so many others that do too, so just ignore those asses k? -hugsandkisses-

she smiled
at 7:40 PM

just completed collecting all the quotes for the class web. everyone go see alright! it's awesome! haha. x) watched a little of potc just know. orlando bloom is the hottest actor i've ever seen! omg. hahah -hormonal rush- x) anyway, school is starting soon. SOB. i don't want school to start! -scowl- the rampant chaos, your reality... oh, btw, all the italized words are song lyrics. =) mmmmmm. bored like hell now. it's so dark. dead spooky. haha. this entry is crapped. nothing to say la... just felt like typing? x) lameshit. listening to rap metal, turntables in my eyes.

she smiled
at 12:44 AM

Friday, September 12, 2003
at natalie's house now! god, i love her house. it's so big and so nice and her keyboard is great! haha. lameshit. oh well. we're supposed to be doing lit now, but we both kinda gave up. wait, actually i gave up and nat figured she might as well give up too since making me do something i don't want to usually turns out badly. lol. x) i'm super lame today, can ya tell? haha. anyway, i can taste food again! yay! i haven't been able to taste any food for the past two days 'cause of my nose. imagine my joy. LOL. xP

hmmm. haven't done any of my school homework! HOW! i'm so dead man. two amaths final-year exam papers to do, two emaths worksheets, 3 literature essays, 3 english comprehensions, chem worksheets, geography workbook stuff and some more i can't remember. OH! i haven't had my OBS check-up. shitshitshit. damn. got to remember that. plus chinese orals [which i haven't prepared for] and a chemistry [physics maybe?] test on the first week when school reopens. all in all, life sucks. honest, let's make this night last forever.

she smiled
at 3:41 PM

Thursday, September 11, 2003
argh. i don't know why i'm so sickly these few days. last time i couldn't get sick even if i stood in the rain for a few hours then went home and sat in front of a fan. these days i'm falling ill at every little thing. -grrs- life's not fair. my sore throat's gone but my nose has been giving me hell. leaking and leaking and leaking. ugh. x( yesterday was funny though. tash and stephi were so mean to poor roshila. haha. john you must tell rosh that none of the things said in the smses were from me okay? haha i don't want her thinking that i'm sucha mean bitch. lol. =)

i feel like blogging and writing and there's just so many things that i want to say and so many things that i have to get out of my system but i just don't know how to phrase it. how frustrating. arghh. -PISSED OFF-

she smiled
at 2:40 PM

Wednesday, September 10, 2003
Look into my eyes, you will see
What you mean to me...

Search your heart, search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more
Don't tell me it's not worth trying for
You can't tell me it's not worth dying for
You know it's true
Everything I do, I do it for you

-- Rod Stewart 'Everything I Do, I Do It For You.'

Please forgive me, I know not what I do.
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.
Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through.
Please forgive me, if I need you like I do.
Please believe me, every word I say is true.
Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you.

-- Rod Stewart 'Please Forgive Me'.

damn his songs are nice!!

she smiled
at 10:19 AM

have a sore throat now, that sounds absolutely disgusting. tried calling nat just now and her mum answered. wonder if she thought i was a boy or something 'cause she even asked me for my name. didn't do that before lol! arggghhh. i need someone to go with me to watch pirates of the carribean! x) but no one's free... -sobsob- unfair. x( ugh. my voice is yuckyyuckyyucky. so hoarse. hahaha i think it was clare that said in primary school that when i got a sore throat my voice became very 'sexy'. LOL! hahahah ermm. xP whatever. enough crapping. gotta go sleep somemore.

she smiled
at 9:58 AM

"You must remember this, a kiss is still a
kiss". Your romance is Casablanca. A
classic story of love in trying times, chock
full of both cynicism and hope. You obviously
believe in true love, but you're also
constantly aware of practicality and societal
expectations. That's not always fun, but at
least it's realistic. Try not to let the Nazis
get you down too much.

What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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You're the Goddess spirit of Sun! A bit ditzy (er,
a bit?) you are pretty organized and very nice.
You have high spirits and a cheerful attitude,
though you are not one to mess with.

(For girls) What (imaginary) Goddess Spirit Are You?
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Your a very warm person who wants to be loved for who you are. Love means the world to you but you want it to be right. You have a vision of perfection when it comes to true love.
Your a very warm person who wants to be loved for
who you are. Love means the world to you but
you want it to be right. You have a vision of
perfection when it comes to true love. Just
remember, love is always perfect, but people
never are. You gotta be willing to take the
good with the bad, just as you want people to
except that about you.

What does love mean to you?
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she smiled
at 1:10 AM

Driretlan is your Vampire name.
You are a witty Vampire with a certain style that
others are drawn to.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:

What is your Vampire name?
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You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
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Your Claim to Fame by Danika
Day of Birth:
Lucky Number:
Claim to Fame:Cooking Show
Years You Will be Remembered:97
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Previous Life Meme by quill18
Zodiac Sign:
Favorite Colour:
Last Life:Diplomat
Attendants at Funeral:38
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

she smiled
at 12:41 AM

just came online 'cause i couldn't sleep and yeah. read some stuff i probably shouldn't have read? i don't know. but really. why'd you go and say things like that? why didn't you just tell me and then i'd stop doing it if it makes you *so* unhappy? isn't it a little like backstabbing by not telling it to a person's face. i don't know okay. and i don't know what made you so mad. i'd really love to help with whatever the problem is and you know i'll be here for you. but why go to the extent of that...? i don't see the point. sorry.

lulu: i'm sorry i left without you. i really thought you knew i was leaving since you were sitting right behind me. plus i thought you didn't want a lift from my mom. i'm really sorry. =(

tash: hope you're not still mad...? sorry...

i don't know what is wrong with me today. i mean, i managed to piss off 3 people and ended up pissed as well. whatever. *shrugs* whateverwhateverwhatever.

she smiled
at 12:36 AM

Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Sea Elf: Unlike the myth, you are not elven
mermaids/men. You do have the ability to stay
under water for extremely long time periods,
but you do not breath the water, nor have gills
or fins (just some slight webbing). You always
live near water, and often keep safe holds for
your goods in hidden underwater caves. Some of
your kind actually spend more time in the water
than out, and thus how your kind developed the
strange marine coloration of blues, greens and

Which Elven Race are you?
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Death, the second of The Endless, you are responsible for ending all lives and taking them to your realm, from which no one ever returns. You are bright, positive, happy, optimistic%2
Death, the second of The Endless, you are
responsible for ending all lives and taking
them to your realm, from which no one ever
returns. You are bright, positive, happy,
optimistic and enjoy everything about life, but
that does not mean your silly or stupid. You
can lay the smack down when you have to!
Everyone loves you, and they don't know why.

Which Endless are you?
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Earth girl
You are a true nature girl!

Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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she smiled
at 5:50 PM

DKNY: Classic with clean edges and very business
like. You don't like to get outrageous or
overly boisterous. Keep It Simple is your
motto and you do it well.

What fashion designer fits you
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she smiled
at 5:31 PM

-sighs- tiredtiredtired. my brother's birthday today! happy birthday jus! anyway. =( got back from school a little while ago. god. we had a whole day's work okay! literature for 1+ hrs with joteo at 8 in the morning: i can't believe she has the nerve to make us wake up so early on a holiday! -grrrs- meanie. hmmm... oh, then after that jieying, chris, val, john, marie, frances and me all went to the shops opposite the school to buy snacks to eat. hahaha. i looked like i just went grocery shopping. x) and this morning, my throat was being a bitch. so sore and hoarse and painful that i could barely speak. -sobsob- how saddening. x( but it kinda cleared up later on... though now it still kinda hurts. dang.

hmmmm. then SS for abt 1 and a 1/2 hours. so fucking boring. and annabelchow is sucha bitch sometimes. *bleahs* oh well. anyway, after that, natalie, chris, carol, abish, stephi and me went for lunch at novena! today i ate so much. i'm bound to be a few kilos overweight already lol. oh and so coincidental! hahaha lulu, jieying marie and all went to the same place as us. then on the way back, the whole bunch of us got onto 54 and saw sam, roxy, cheryland alyssa on the same bus! hahaha it doesn't sound like sucha big deal but i thought it was funny how half the 3/9 girls were on the same bus and were all going to be late for amaths. x) haha lameshit. stoops.

anyway, amaths after that with tehkengseng. GOD. HE'S SHIT BORING. and it didn't help that the topic was so stupid too. permutation and combinations. *lost* lol. whatever. tasha: sorry i couldn't leave earlier with you. i thought lulu need the lift home and yeahh. stupid girl was being a goon. -sticks tongue out at lulu- anyway since amath was so dropdeadboring, marie, frances and i left earlier. hahah. by just a little bit. and marie encountered a ghost in the toilet! Xs so scary! and the ghost was pretending to be me. either that or it was someone else named vanessa or lulu being an idiot. lol. either way, it totally freaked marie! -huggs- hahaha. don't be scared! x)

melliedarling: why'd you get rid of your guestbook! now i can't sign it to tell you i love you. x( -sniffsniff- i miss youuuu! haven't seen you for the past 2 weeks? then this week will make it 3. -cries- missing you so much darl. msg me or something yeahh. feel like talking/gossipping/bitching to you! lol. but really, if something's wrong or if you're feeling upset or whatever, call me yeahs. ilu babe and don't you ever forget! -lotsahugggs-

she smiled
at 5:31 PM

Monday, September 08, 2003
be warned: this entry will contain absolute rubbish. i'm really pissed off and i need to vent. today has SUCKED. my life SUCKS. do you know what i've spent the day doing? pretending to study!! why?? because my mother is home. yeahh. HERRR whatthehell. i've had about 5 arguments with her already. wtf. -grrrs- sometimes i really want to live with my dad. =(

hmmmm. anyway, yesterday i fell asleep at 7! and woke up at 8 today. -blissfulsighs- life rocks. lol. but my mum scolded me (again) for sleeping so much and my throat hurts anyway. -sobs- tmr there's a whole day of supplementary lessons! -faints- why are all our teachers so sadistic. meanies. argghh. that bitch is chasing me off again. laters. -GROWL-

she smiled
at 8:21 PM

Sunday, September 07, 2003
sundays suck. haha. i'm having a particularly lousy one anyway. oh! happy birthday tricia! haven't really talked to you for quite some time but i'm still loving you loads yeahh. x) -bighugs- tk care yupps! x)

anyway, went for training this morning. but since the hairdresser said i couldn't swim 'cause of the chlorine, i just had land training. and some bloody fuckers were laughing at me when i was trying to do those inclined push-ups. fuckers! excuse my french yupps. x) argh! this week is going to SUCK. so much freaking work to do and no time to rest! everyday is nothing but studystudystudy. -sighs- if i don't get my As at the end of the year, i will find shireen and we shall both jump down from some building. oh, i know. the SLF building opposite our school. pretty high up. if we jump, at least we'll REALLY die and not go to jail if we don't manage to kill ourselves. hahahaha. i'm so fuckedup. -peace-

she smiled
at 2:18 PM

Saturday, September 06, 2003
1. When was the 1st time u remember crying? ermm. can't remember. hahaha my motto in life is 'conside anything, only don't cry.'

2. What time do u wake up in the morning? 6am for schooldays. 9-10 for weekends. and once i slept til one. x)

3. Gold/silver? silver

4. What was the last film u saw at the cinema? bruce almighty. i think anyway.

5. Fave tv show: charmed. everybody loves raymond! haha so funny. x)

6. What do u have for breakfast? milo or coffee with biscuits or bread.

7. Who would u like to be left in a room with? with a whole bunch of friends! =) *innocent*

8. Can u touch your nose with your tongue? nope.

9. What are u most afraid of? cockroaches!

10. What inspires u? quotes, poetry, my friends x)

11. Whats your middle name? ann.

12. City, beach or country? all three!! x)

13. Summer or winter? both //we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun...//

14. Buttered, plain or salted popcorn? salted

15 Fave car? convertibles.

16. Fave sandwich filling? ham or bacon.

17. Fave type of music? mostly anything on the radio. but not heavy metal or anything like that

18. fave past-time? slacking! ermm... reading, writing, sleepinG!

19. What characteristics do you despise? dishonesty.

20. fave flower? daisies.

21. If u had a big win in the lottery, how would u wanna spend it all? a house, round the world in a yr

22. Do u wear pyjamas? nope

23. What colour are your eyes? darkish amber

24. How many keys on your key ring? 3.

25. How many doors are there? err a gate and a front door?

26. can you juggle? hahaha NO!

27. What is your fave day of the week? everyday that i don't have chem or physics. oh, wait. no. everyday that i can slack. =)

28. red or white wine? neither.

29. what did you do for your last birthday? can't remember. ermm just chilled at home i guess.

30. do you carry a donor card? nope

31. say something nice about the person who sent this to you...? marieee. you're one of the sweetest people i know! -hugsandkisses-

32. who do you least expect to send this back to you? ermm everyone.

33. who is the person you expect to send this back first? nobody since this will be on my blog?

34.what book are you reading now? nothing at the moment.

35. favourite board game? cluedo.

36. favourite magazine? lime!

37. favourite smells? impulse. givenchy perfume ahaha.

38. comfort food? everything chocolatey.

39.favourite sound? 'vanessa...' hahahahaha xP

40. worst feeling in the world? depression, sadness, loneliness blablahblah.

41. what is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? 'fuck.' hahha. and '2 minutes more...'

42. favourite fast food place? none in particular... macs?

43. future child's name? kyle.. haha or skye. i like those weirddd name. lol.

44. finish this statement. "IF I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY, ........" i would buy lotsa clothes and lotsa prezzies for my friends and family.

45.u drive fast? if i could i would

46. do you sleep with stuffed animals? no

48. what was your first car? haven't had one yet, but it'll be a bright red convertible! -drools-

49.favourite drink? coke. hahhahaha even if it does corrode my poor stomach lining. oh well.

50. finish this statement, "IF I HAD THE TIME, ....." i would sleep forever. and be online forever.

51. do you eat stems of broccoli? nope.

52. if you could dye your hair any color, what color would you choose? reddish brown.

53. how many different cities have you lived in? err. just singapore...

54. what is under your bed? a pull-out bed and dustbunnies i guess.

56. foot-note for all.... i love all of you. -hugsandkisses- smilesmilesmile because the sun is shining and the sky is blue...

57. foot-not for sender... marie! one of these days MUST go out yeahh. me u and lulu. haha okay!!

she smiled
at 12:09 PM

Green Eyes

What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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You are Chanel!

What (non drugstore) Makeup Brand Are You?
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cute but psycho
you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I see the world in Pink
You see the world in bright pink. The world is a
happy, happy place! You love all people and
things!! Life is great! You're just like a
happy child. Spread the cheer.

Made by

What color do you see the world in?
brought to you by Quizilla

she smiled
at 11:48 AM

ARGH. i hate blogger! yesterday, i posted once and my post disappeared. Then i tried posting it again, and it GOT DELETED TOO. i feel like suing blogger. hahaha. anyway, i wrote it down on paper anyway, after that [i'm a diehard blogger haha x)] whole blogging fiasco. i feel so tired now. i don't know if i was asleep and dreaming or if i was wide awake, but i think i was awake at 4 in the morning 'cause i remember looking at my alarm clock. –yawwwn- tired as hell now. hahaha you hanky-pankyers! i was not sad okay, just was [and am] tired! haha. yesterday was quite nice~

<5th September 2003>
nat didn't come to school today 'cause she's in malaysia. shuckers. xP hurry up and come home okay! your bitchsistaa is missing you~ x) remember to buy me something okay! haha oh and linn! you must buy me something too okay! lol. shameless. oh well. anyway, since nat didn't come, shireen sat in her place. i tell you, if i was depressed and i went to look for shireen, i might as well jump down a building 'cause that’s what we’ll both end up doing anyway. haha. shireeeenbaby. don’t be so sad all the time okay? and don’t be so depressed too. he's not worth it if he's gonna make you so sad and down and out all the time, you know? i know you're thinking 'easier said than done, vanessa' and yeahh it's true. but you have to believe yupps? -bighugsandsloppykisses- you tk care of yourself babe. you're a wonderful person, don't you ever forget that! x)

anyway, this morning shireen dragged me off to sit at the stone benches just opposite St Gabes' to watch people. -raises eyebrow- i was all 'this is your idea of fun?!' but actually it was quite okay la. haha saw a lot of frens anyway. hmmmm. oh, then john came too. john: ehh you. hope your mouth is feeling better yeah? haha the ice-cream yesterday must have helped a little. these sorta ungrateful people aren't worth it yeahh? you tk care of yourself yupps. don't make me worry okay? haha xP

haha oh i didn't wear socks to school today too, 'cause i couldn't find any clean and nice ones so i just wrapped a bandage around my foot and pretended to limp when teachers were around. haha. it worked too, surprisingly. x) chem was alright, i guess. paid attention since jenniferchu was there supervising wong and sitting quite near me, tash and shireen. haha i actually understood quite a bit! happiness. haha maybe I won't fail so badly for chem la. haha, yeahh and the sky is green. and wong laughed in class today! she was teaching us proportions in mole and she gave us an example: "3 boys have 240 balls." and *everyone* burst out laughing! then she was like 'whoops!' and changed it to marbles. not before, though, i caught her laughing! hahaaha. maybe wong's not so bad la. -ponders-

my SS test sucked. so freaking hard. i was just bullshitting my way through the paper. i had a dream last night that i got 2/25 for my SS test, 'cause i didn't know what to write. there were like 4 questions and i skipped the first one. for the second questions, i wrote two lines and then i got so pissed off, i just shouted 'fuck it!' and handed it in. lol! so yeahh. i'm pretty scared now haha. and i dreamt about other stuff too... some of you know what it is, anyway. they say that dreams are the opposite of what will really happen, but i think this time it can't be la... 'cause i can really see it happening. how saddening. oh well. not as if there's anything i can do right...? what's done is done and cannot be undone. nice quote! x)

mysweetie came over to my house yesterday, just to relax before going for the mooncake festival thing the school organized. i wanted to pon and go to town or the arcade at toa payoh, but she convinced me to go. hahaha she still hasn't mastered the art of flushing my toilet. x) hahaha. but i had a blast with her! -hugsmysweetietight- x) then we went to j8 to take neos! haha she looks gorgeous in them! haha i just look retarded lol. anyway, the mooncake festival thing started out lame. nothing to do but sit around and listen to all the cheena juices flowing. can die! haha so i just listened to jie's discman. but it was so full of ballads and soppy songs, i ended up repeating the first song over and over since it was the only punk-hiphop-rock one. haha. hope i didn’t spoil her discman. ohh and she was my bung girlfriend yesterday too lol. x) saw quite a number of people there... like jie, yan han, bernadette, hyeh yun, hazel [who wouldn't 'pei' me. -pouts- haha go and die!], mycupcake!, carol [my ex-chocolate club partner haha], john, cheryl and lots more that i can't remember. went down to the bball courts after a while to play sparklers! hahaha carol and her screaming and howling sparklers were the best. even her sparklers make noise. completely like her! haha. x) ohh. cheryl gave me my first ever bite of mooncake. it was quite okay actually. =)

so after a whole 3 hours of sitting around and trying to burn our lanterns [it was fun okay! x)] cheryl, john and i decided to go thomson for ice-cream. [sorry, stephi for abandoning you. -sobs- i feel like crap. x'( sorrysorrysorry.] we were still hungry, even though we ate some buffet food and john ate about 5000 prawns?! hahah. haagen dasz ice-cream sucks. so bloody ex. $4.20 for a single cup?!?! daylight robbery! what the hell. hahaha now i'm dead broke because i gave in to cheryl's persuasion. haha. but the ice-cream was good. *yummsters* cheryl, john: had lotsa fun with you two today! hahaha although i felt pretty lamp-postish... hahaha next time if you want time alone, i'll just go and hide in one corner okay...?! haha just kidding don’t kill me. x) haha but anyway, must do it again sometime soon yeahhs. love you two loads! -smuckers-

yepps. that pretty much sums up my day yesterday. [carol: two words pretty much sums up my life: FUCKED UP.] hmmmm. maybe i'll go for the mooncake thing again next year. oh! my teachers are horrible. we're all buried up to our eyebrows in homework and revision. wtf. so many worksheets and tys to do. might as well die. x( -sobsob- oh well. at least they're introducing afternoon study again! -cheer- haha i’m not being sacarstic, i actually *like* afternoon study a lot. can *actually* study so yeahh. quite productive la. okay i'm going to do my emath now. laters!

she smiled
at 11:34 AM

Friday, September 05, 2003

she smiled
at 10:58 PM

Thursday, September 04, 2003
just updated my site! x) go see!! here! x))

she smiled
at 8:35 PM

you know, i just looked at my fish. the new fishes that my mother bought 3 or 4 days ago, and i'm surprised they're still alive. haha generally fish don't survive for over a week in my house. they just start dying one by one the day after we buy them. then we spend the next few days scooping out dead skeletons. hmmm. x) my house and it's stupid jinxed fish. oh well. anyway, today was quite alright. i was so damned happy in the morning for absolutely NO REASON, which is kinda scary, but as time wore on... gottired.gotjaded.gotohsosad. oh well. thanks shireen, john, for all the hugs. =) ponned cat class in the morning to talk in the toilet with shireen and mycupcake. cupcake: pls don't feel so sad alright? it's just one of those things... and you know, that which doesn't kill us just makes us stronger. and you know you've got so many wonderful friends to back you up and be there by your side everyday. so just keep that pretty smile where it is okay? haha that was shitlame but i hope you get my meaning. love you always my darling cupcake. x)

anyway, physics was free periods and after that was chinese. supershitlame like always. classes these days don't have the same effect on me like they used to in sec1 and 2. seems funny, but these days it's like i don't really care if they find out that i ponned class or if they see me roll my eyes at them or hear my cursing. strange. haha i guess i've changed. =) but then again so does everyone right? oh well. anyway, chem test after recess [which sucked since the canteen was foodless. xP] and, well, that sucked too. copied off nat mostly. xP ahh well. amath was okay. haha sitting between shireen and natalie, since tasha didn't come to school again today! [tash! i hope you're feeling better yeahh. i got your msg. omg! anaemic?? god. you have to eat more iron okay haha. love you sweets. hope you can come to school tmr yeah? and sorry abt the table incident alright? x) -hugs-]

hmmm. english was free period again. joteo didn't come. spent most of it talking to mycupcake and shireen. actually i spent most of my day talking with those two. haha. sorry nat! xP and i hope you liked your present yeahh? haha. x) hmmmm. let's see... oh then emath was disappointing. -BIG SIGH- got 10/20. i hate yappers. i don't care if he reads this. first time i got so low on an emath test. -sigh- and it's not like i don't listen okay. i do listen and i even have tuition. if not for tuition i think i'd have failed. bleahs. I HATE YOU YAP! -whew- finally out of my system. anyway, geography enrichment after school. MY GOD. that guy is the biggest loser in the world can. hahaha. gosh, pants so tight, so short. looks like a cross between a bung and a fag. -rolls eyes- and with the world's lamest personality:

"Name your group the most ridiculous name you can think of!" - Wekie Tay [can you believe 'wekie' is a name? haha so mean.]
"-muttering under her breath- 'Wekie'?" - Shireen. [LOL!]

had a very enlightening talk with lulu on the way home after that. i love you lulu, and thanks for telling me all that stuff. x) really touched! -hugs- thanks for always being there yeahh. okay gtg now, been online for decades. laters peeps.

she smiled
at 7:42 PM

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