the average goddess,

the compulsive shopaholic,

the absentminded ditz,

and just a little insane.

swimmer; drama mama; councillor;

# resolutions;
1. participate more actively in CYF/Mustard Seed.
2. participate more in CCAs.
3. be a better older sister.
4. be a better daughter for once.
5. get good grades and maintain them.
6. listen, not talk. (this applies to class too!)
7. have a journal/diary.
8. be a friend to everyone.
9. remember important dates.
10. stay happy, even when the tears fall. :)

# linkage;
temporary insanity;


carol n.

[Chinese New Year]
[Thanksgiving Mass]
[The Rockafellaskank]
[CYF Camp]
[T8 Orientation]
[31st March]
[Elects Camp]
[Discover! Camp]

blogger;cursor;angelfire; photobucket;music;

July 2003; August 2003; September 2003; October 2003; November 2003; December 2003; January 2004; February 2004; March 2004; April 2004; May 2004; June 2004; July 2004; August 2004; October 2004; November 2004; December 2004; January 2005; February 2005; March 2005; May 2005; June 2005;


Sunday, August 31, 2003
lately it seems that i'm always up so late and on the com, stoning away. hmmm. doesn't make sense haha. anyway, don't know why but i;m in such a lyrics-y mood. haha. actually i don't really like reading lyrics cos sometimes they're boring, but my dearestest [word stolen from mysweetie] alyssa likes reading them so i shall indulge all the more. x) hahha. that was super lame xP oh, btw, sheryl-dajie!! happy birthday sweetheart! i love you and don't you ever forget that. tried calling you, but you didn't pick up? ah well.. x) -hugsandkisses- i miss having you in the class next door! -pouts- haha. call me yeah? then we can bitch and gossip! haha x) love you darr. and yesterday was natalie's bdaY! i keep forgetting to mention all the impt things. haha shuckers. nat!! myslashbitch! -hugs- i'm glad you had sucha wonderful time on your bday yesterday! sorry that i wasn't so enthusiastic. xP i'll make it up to you, you'll see!! anyway, don't ever stop being the wonderful person you are. sometimes i feel that you and i are just both sides of the same coin. you understand me so well, you know that? love you always bitchsistaa. x)

she smiled
at 11:51 PM

now i've tried to talk to you and make you understand
all you have to do is close your eyes
and just reach out your hands and touch me
hold me close don't ever let me go
more than words is all i ever needed you to show
then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
...'cause i'd already know.

--the dedication song playing on friday for the teacher's day mass. sweeeeet. x) more than words.

is there someone you know,
loving them so?
you're taking them all for granted.
you may lose them one day.
someone takes them away.
and they don't hear the words
you long to say...

-- bread.everything i own. so sappy rite haha. it was playing in the salon where mysweetie and i were rebonding our hair. =) ooh plus the song below. all for one. i swear.

and i swear by the moon and the stars in the sky, i'll be there,
i swear like a shadow that's by your side, i'll be there.
for better or worse, till death do us part,
i'll love you with every beat of my heart, and i swear...

she smiled
at 3:15 PM

ahh. that song is so sweet. been singing it the whole day so far! hahaha even in emath tuition this morning, when we were having a test. =) obsessed. haha. anyway, my mum's still mad at me, even though she did buy me breakfast this morning. ahh whatever. anyway, i'm seriously bored. why isn't anyone updating their blogs? x)

my brother's being a pig. bugging me to do his website. hello he's twelve??!

she smiled
at 2:20 PM

Shakespeare In Love
he's fought and he's fallen
he's on his knees before he's on his feet
a sinister romantic
he's about to be and she's about to see

teachin' torches to burn bright
she's hanging on the cheek of night
a snowy dove trooping with crows
he never saw true beauty till tonight

she'll take him to the brink of deliverance
show him that much
oh, don't you know it...oh, don't you know it...
so he falls in love to feel that he's falling
she'll let him know his heart
oh, don't you know it...oh, don't you know it...
that's Shakespeare in love

he's fought and he's fallen
he's on his knees before he's on his feet
a glittery romantic
oh, he's about to be and she's about to see

his bounty's boundless like the sea
his love is endless, just as deep
the more he gives the more he has
`cause both of them are truly infinite

A sinister romantic
He's on his knees before he's on his feet.

she smiled
at 12:36 AM

Saturday, August 30, 2003
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What would your Japanese name be? (female)
brought to you by Quizilla

-thou shall love thy enemy. for that would hurt them the most-. -- from mycupcake's blog. sweetie i hope you're feeling better yeahs? x) don't be so sad. they hate you 'cause they can't be you.

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A GAME-BOY. Youre like a tomboy without the love of
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she smiled
at 11:44 PM

i have straight hair!! -omg- i'm so happy i tell you. let me start at the beginning. went to school at 8 this morning for amath lesson with the whole class. it was pretty okay! haha surprising, since it was trigo and all. =) anyway, after that, stephi and i went to raffles place to get our head straightened! shit man, i didn't know that it took so freaking long just to straighten my hair. lucky i cut it first. =) haha anyway, now it's dead straight man! haha but i look a litte funny. like a very bad imitation of cleopatra. haha x) but stephi looks beautiful. -mysweetie- xD

you know, i told my mum that stephi's mum paid for the thing [which is NOT TRUE. i paid for it myself.], and that i didn't have to pay a cent. then she scolded me. saying rubbish like i have no principles to suck up to people that are rich. i got no pride. i am not much better than a beggar or a thief.

i feel like slapping her and laughing my head off at the same time. i can't please her no matter how hard i try. if i'd said i'd used my own money, she'd have said i "don't know how to save money, think i very rich or what". WHATEVER, BITCH. pardon my language, but it's really true. i can't stand her. i want OUT of this living hell i reside in. x( kapui. i hate her. haha but at the same time, i'm sort of revelling in the fact that she's so miserably deluded. and that i got wonderfully straight hair ON MY FUCKING OWN, THANK YOU VERY FUCKING MUCH. -beams-

she smiled
at 7:27 PM

Friday, August 29, 2003
you know, i always seem to start with 'Today was alright, I guess.' hahaha lamer. i'll try to stop. =) anyway, today was GREAT! wonderful wonderful blessed and bestest of all days. -beams- it started with mass in the morning under the hot sun. wonder if they're going to make it a habit. hope not. anyway, sat with rachie -mycupcake- and she was screaming okay during the end when all the teachers were made to walk through a 'cat-walk' which consisted of girls lining the sides and blowing bubbles. can anyone say lame? haha. but at least they tried, so kudos for that. =) see, i'm not even bitching so that shows how happy i am! haha.

Games Fest after that started out really lame. 'cause i pulled outta bball, gen, abish and me were stuck doing cheers. haha but that lasted a whole of 15minutes? i think they gave up after the much much less-than-enthusiastic response and just let us go haha. went to watch the bball matches. poor GREEN house got defeated by BLUE. arghhh. blue sucks! haha. =) but yeah la... wyna and michelle yip were really damn good. michelle, esp. anyway, got bored after a while. -typical- went to buy drinks and give out Teachers' Day presents to the teachers. can you believe that tasha actually gave ALL the teachers presents? and TAKA JEWELRY and CHOCOLATE no less? -rolls eyes- someone's simply too rich... xP

anyway, then went up to class [nat was grinning like shit cos they were playing NSYNC over the PA] and tried to study SS but somehow my mind just couldn't cooperate with me. not that it cooperates very often but still. the exams are coming and yet it's still so disobedient. tsk. hahaha okay that was stupid. =) typically me. -big grin- so we blasted eminem over the com. UNCENSORED eminem! yay! eminem rocks man. haha =) after that was the teacher-bballteam telematch so we went all the way back to watch. omg the bballers are damngood okay. haha dunnoe lah but it was like there wasn't any shouting of who to catch the ball, they just kinda moved like a seamless team? hahaha i guess i'm just nuts. x) half-time and it was the cheerleading competition. GREEN HOUSE WON! WE SO FUCKING RULE! damn we did so fucking well! x) excuse my french! xD hahha by this time abish, carol and stephi were all pulling me to go eat the pizza that yappers promised us so missed the second half of the bball match. but damnit, teachers won. kinda surprising since eric tan can't shoot for NUTS haha and tjl was just showing off all her fancy-schmancy moves. -rolls eyes- poser! whatever!!

PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY. haha the food was great! Yappers had to treat us 'cause we [3/9 and 1/7] made the most money on carnival day! i'd like to say the Games people brought in the most amount of money but i think it was the food la. so three cheers for Frances and Johnnie! x) haha. hmmms. oh and annabelle chow postponed our SS test!! love that woman! haha. oh ya. apparently, mr tan and ms neo read our bloggs! omg. ehh invasion of privacy okay! haha. oh and stephi and i are going to straighten our hair tmr!! -SCREAM- so happy. curly hair has plagued my life long enough. =)

she smiled
at 7:30 PM

Thursday, August 28, 2003
Hmmm. Today was alright, I guess. Cat class in the morning was boring, as always. Spent it talking to Hyeh Yun and doodling a postcard. =) Physics was confusing. Chinese after that and I fucked the spelling again. It's ridiculous. tpg doesn't call my name at all. -ponders- Wonder why. hahaha maybe it's 'cause I'm euarasian and she thinks it'll be unfair to pick on me or something haha. Didn't go for recess 'cause I felt kinda sick so stayed in class and listened to Eminem on my discman. =) Wonder how joteo would react if she came into class while we were blasting Eminem over the speakers. These days 3/8 and 3/7 are always playing music on their coms in the classrooms. So fun haha. Oh! News! i paid attention in chemistry today! *beams* First time since...ermm. haha can't even remember. Copied quotes like mad todaY!

"Where were you?" - Mrs Mah, after Evon came in a few minutes late for her lesson.
"I went to wash my face." - Evon.
"With a book?" - Mrs Mah, looking at the book in Evon's hands.
"Wah! Pro, ah, pro!" - Candice, from the back of the class.

"*sneeze*" - me, for the thousandth time.
"*innocently*Are you sick?" - Tasha, as I blow my nose.
"*rolling my eyes* You think?" - me.
"*apparently not getting it* Are you coming down with the flu?" - Tasha, still looking at me stifle a sneeze.
"*exasperated*YOU THINK?" - me.
"*joyfully, leaning over and hugging me* HUG ME!" - Tasha.

"Natasha! Next step!" - Mrs Mah, in A-maths class.
"*panicking and quickly repeating Christine's instructions* Divide by 3!"
"She just times-d it by 3!" - Carol and Candice, silmultaneously.

"Shrapnel." - Joteo, giving us spelling during English.
"*absently* How do you spell that?" - Jessica.

Anyway, Saturday is Natalie's bday! And Sunday is my dajie's bday! Happy birthday you two in advance! May all your dreams come true and may all your days be filled with happiness!! -hugsandkisses- =) I know, that sounds so cliched but yeah. What the hell. hahah anyway. I'm sneezing like mad. Don't know what's wrong with me! Pathetically reduced to using TOILET PAPER to blow my nose, which is now sore and really painful and still not ending it's leaking. -sobs- And tmr is teachers' day. Not like I'm so eager to go to school in the house t-shirt and watch everyone get so sweaty and sticky but still. I hate being sick. x(

she smiled
at 7:27 PM

Wednesday, August 27, 2003
i feel like typing haha. would it be right to say that a hug is something that conveys feelings and emotions that sometimes words cannot express? there's just something in a simple hug that can tell you a thousand different things. 'i missed you' or 'i'm glad to have you' or 'thank you' or 'welcome home'. so many emotions and only a simple gesture. a hug is just a hug. and it's so simple and so innocent that it can never be confused with the meanings behind a kiss. right? a kiss is still a kiss. but a hug... can just be a hug. commitment free...right?


she smiled
at 7:11 PM

hmmm. today was alright i guess, lessons as usual. tpg was chasing me for a composition i didn't finish last month hahaha sucker. i hate chineseee. the government sucks. always making us study subjects we don't give a fuck about. evil bastards. hahaha excuse my french, i'm very anti-singaporegovernment right now. x) anyway, tasha is the best. i moaned and moaned and grumbled and groaned [that rhymed! xP] about my horrible hair for the entire morning, and she turns to me in the middle of fourth period [emath] and goes "you cut your hair ah?" -scowl- okay. that shows how much she listens to me!~ *pout* hahaha. amath test today too. -rolls eyes- i don't think i have to say how i think i did right? haha i'll probably get zero. no, not 'probably'. 'will'. =)

oh. and joteo was a lowdown, despicable, juvenile, pathetic, liar-ish BITCH today. she exclaimed so loudly at 1.30 that the prefects was supposed to go down to the hall to do something, then made a big BIG show like she needed to call the general office or the staffroom or whatever. then she was like 'who has a phone? who has a phone? let me borrow!' and pointed to sam, roxy and candice. then she was like 'miss ang i know you've got a phone. quick, lend me.' then candice handed her the phone and we all were laughing so loudly and so increduosly BUT she said 'thank you.' and CONFISCATED IT!!! omg. all of us were shocked into silence okay. what a betrayal or trust. i mean, if a girl can hand the discipline mistress her phone because she believes and trusts her, and the DM just confiscates it like that, what does that say about her? what a creep. that has got to be the lowest thing i've ever seen. so fucking pathetic.

she smiled
at 6:29 PM

Tuesday, August 26, 2003
oh my God.

i look like a major retarrrd. -startschanting'omgomgomgomg'- i just cut my hair at j8 and now... argh. i might as well be bald. this hairstyle sucks! it's like carol [lim]'s but with 2 bangs in front. my hair is fucked. *SCRRRREEEEAAAAAMMMM* -sigh-

okay. anyway, today was quite okay i guess... slacked like crazy anyway. hahaha chinese class was so cutee. x) cos tpg is always calling on the people around me like cheryl, yan han, natalie, kelly etc but never me. hmmm. hahaha so i'm just riding on my luck for a while until i catch up with my chinese work. =) i've resolved myself to study. and to study damn hard too since the exams are coming [29th Sept starts! OH MY GOD!!!!!] and my mum's given me a deadline of all As, max of 2Bs and NO Cs or FAILURES. i'm going to die if i don't get a move on and TRY to understand my chem. -big sigh- everyone must pray for me okay? i have no idea how i'm going to manage to pull this one off, especially since i first have to pass my amath, chem and physics. -sigh- okay. i shall stop moping. hahaha x)

anyway, rachie is my cupcake. hahaha how sweeeeet x) love you sweetie! -smucks- and i'll always be here for you yeah? ilu! hahaha and shireen!! don't be so sad okay? or i'll cry even more. thanks for distracting me today when i was like on the verge of tears =) hahaha i shall not be so thin-skinned anymore. i shall NOT cry at all. x) hahaha am i making sense? oh and shireen and i were hugging in the toilet and this fucking sec one comes in and sees us and goes 'EW! LESBIANS!" and we both gave her the finger silmultaneously. ahahaha x) i love my shireeeeeeen!

note for stephi and tasha: stephi! i hope ure feeling better! -hugs- isit your gums won't stop bleeding after the extraction yesterday? geez... well don't worry! the human body doesn't have so much blood to bleed and waste! hahaha okay that was lame but yeah. -hugsandkisses- see you tmr hopefully alright? ilu x) tasha!omg i'm so sorry i passed you my gastric flu... -wails- are you feeling better now? gastric flu sucks shit doesn't it? [ooh that rhymes! x)] anyway, hope you're feeling good enough to come back to sch tmr yeahs? miss you like hell man! x) -smuckers- love you babe!

she smiled
at 4:41 PM

Monday, August 25, 2003
obs girls are back! my dearestest stephi is chaota like nobody's business! hahaa so black and red. pooor thing. -hugs- but she's beaming from ear-to-ear so i'm sure she had loadsa fun. =) i'm happy for her! and happy for all the obs girls who went and had a blast and got burnt like hell. hahhaa how gracious of me. *rolls eyes* you know, i don't know if it's just me or something but today it's like everyone's a bit mad. hahahaha how fun! then the whole world can be as mad as me. x) *cheer*

PE was rubbish, as usual. tjl took our height/weight and i haven't grown a milimetre. how depressing. -sigh- and i didn't gain weight too, so that's good. but i didn't lose any either! so disappointing. hahaha okay, as of now, i resolve to be 48kg by the end of the year. =) i don't know why but it seems like an ideal weight. ahahaha =) chem was... bad. wong was saying that our class is the most talkative in the level. so sue us. and she said "In the staff room, there's a lot of talking about 3/9." -rolls eyes- how ironic. we talk and then they talk even more. -whatever- x) oh. and joteo's an ass. today she was making all of us do presentations on the PM's national day speech. and who did she pick? ME. okay, so it was by register numbers, but still. so predictable. can't stand her. so i had to go up and yak about something i had no idea. hahaha freaky but ahh it's over. =)

hmmm. lulu is driving everyone mad with her entrepeneurship [spelling?] thing. hahha i'm pretty sure erika wanted to wring her neck as we were walking out aft sch with yilin too. hahaha and yilin just takes it. i think she's realised that to argue with lulu is like arguing with the wall. x) just kidding lulu!! you know i love you! -smucks-

she smiled
at 5:41 PM

Sunday, August 24, 2003
my site is back up. hahaha i'm the world's most fickle person. =) here

she smiled
at 4:34 PM

valencia lost to real madrid. 5-6 on penalties. shuckers. was hoping valencia would win... those brazilian players in r.mad deserve to die! made me lose $5 to carol last year because we betted on the world cup. stupid brazilians. hahaha anyway. i'm feeling mad today. more mad than i usually am. x) and i've no idea why. xD

mmmm. oh my lips are aching like crazy! i don't know why but whenever i'm thinking about something i'll pull my lips. hahaha sounds so sick right? but it's like i've got chapped lips so i'm forever pulling the hard dead skin away. and it hurts like mad i tell you. so i was pulling and pulling in the bus on my home after emath tuition that everyone was staring. hahaha whatever. i came home and my mum was like 'why are your lips so red! who have you been kissing!' crazy woman. hahha okay it's a horrible habit. gonna make it a point to stop. or i'll bleed to death during exams. x)

she smiled
at 2:34 PM

Saturday, August 23, 2003
Waste your own time
I don't care
Anything you can do...I can do better.

You're superficial. I'm a misfit.

she smiled
at 9:35 PM

got back a little while ago after mass. =) today was so much fuN! *big grin* hmm. after my dad picked my brother and i up we had breakfast at macs at j8 and then we went to the tapz arcade!! *cheeeeerrr* so happy man. i played the daytona racing game and i was constantly screaming cos the girl next to me kept making me overturn. i ran into the wall and overturned a grand total of 4 times! my god. i'm the world's lousiest driver. hahahaha but i managed a time of 17 seconds! *goofy grin* x) hahaha anyway, went to choa chu kang cemetery after that to see my grandad. he passed away 6/7/82. so many years before i was even born. anyway it was on a hill and standing there i could see so many grave-stones and all... kinda spooky. but at least it was a christian cemetery so... it was kind of comforting? hahaha i don't know. oh! and my bro was being an idiot and he said "i see dead people." and next second he slipped and nearly fell. hahaha spirits either have a sense of humour or very little tolerance for stupid young boys. xP

anyway, after that we went to takashimaya in town to have lunch! so fun! hahaha didn't really think my dad would take us to town. and for some weird reason, my bro hates going to orchard. *scratches head* weirdo. hahaha anyway it was so crowded at kfc but we were so hungry so we bought the food and ate it at the van where we could watch the skaters at the skate park. man i wish i could skate like those guys! *envious* bro and i used to invent all sorts of weird tricks with our blades and board but i haven't skated for so damn long i think my skills have disappeared. hahaha lame. hmmm. oh and my dad kept calling my kuniang cos i was fanning myself with a fan he has in the van. he has a fan and i get called kuniang. hahahaha and it's kuniang cos he can't pronounce the 'gu' x) and he says meinu [pretty lady] as may-noo. xD hahahaha i love my daddy!

she smiled
at 9:26 PM

going to leave soon for my day out with my daddy =) sometimes i feel like i live for these days. it just... i don't know... just makes me happy i guess. ahahaa that didn't make sense, i know. but then again, i hardly make sense all the time. =)

anyway, i had coffee late last night so i was still unable to sleep at 1.40 in the morning. haha how smart of me to drink two cups of coffee in the evening. *rolls eyes* anyway, so i was reading a lot of my old letters from my friends... hahaha about 3/4 of them are from sheryl-jie and the rest are from kelly, matty and all. so yeah... some of them were quite sad actually... i mean, not that the contents were sad. just that after reading it you feel kinda sad and all... found a few that were about the 'cold war' even kelly's poem on it! hahah it was all really quite sad you know? but now i think maybe it was for the best...like yeah maybe i never really fit in at all so yeah it was a blessing in disguise la. any of us reading this don't take it the wrong way. i'm not depressed or whatever. just being an idiot and musing over it. =) i guess it was a good thing i left la... though it was pretty sad for me to just up and leave like that. i was just wanting to get rid of the tense and awkward atmosphere you know? i don't know whether you believe it la but i just wanted you guys to be happy. so i left. seems stupid to write about sth that happened half a year ago but like yeah... hahaha like i said i just found the stupid letters. ignore me! =)

//i just don't understand why you're running from good man baby / why you've turned your back on love / why you've already given up / cos you know you've been hurt before / but i swear i'll give you so much more / i swear i'll never let you down / cos i swear it's you that i adore / and i can't help myself babe / cos i think about you constantly / and my heart gets no rest over you... / you can call me selfish / but all i want is your love / you can call me hopeless, baby / cos i'm hopelessly in love / you can call me unperfect / but who's perfect? / tell me what i gotta do / to prove that i'm the only one for you / so what's wrong with being selfish?

she smiled
at 10:11 AM

Friday, August 22, 2003
happy birthday hyeh yun! love you lots sweetie! -hugsandkisses-

today was normal as it can get in school. in other words, it was shit boring. was copying quotes off everyone in class, some teachers even. cos carol is starting a 3/9 class website and apparently i have good hearing so. =) it's quite fun to copy quotes actually hahaha but then again i'm just weird. x) anyway, chem was rubbish was usual. and i beat my own record of the worst chem results since the start of the year. i got 9/45 for quantative analysis. how fun. =) amaths... omg it was hilarious. mrs [madam?] laleeta came in and taught us trigo. and madam laleeta is the indian teacher with the very very very indian voice. omg nat, tash and i were laughing so hard at her and she kept scolding us but ahhh. who cares. x)< /b>she's so cute and irritating at the same time. hahaha reminds me of someone i know xD

tasha was being even more of a ditz than i am today too. she was like "what's a co-sec [pronounced sack]?" and waving her drumsticks going "i've got two antennas!" ummm... then emath geog lit and ss were all the same la... so bloody boring. oh! rachel has also dubbed me her new cupcake. i'm honoured! ahahhaa then she shall be my ohsosweet brownie or something haha x) love you lots sweetie! -hugs-

sense and sexuality class again. a bit incredulous that mrs ho actually knows what a butch is. i bet my mum would say it's a nickname for a butcher if i asked her. haha but i guess it's kinda inevitable when you're in an all-girls school. anyway. went for lunch with cheryl and lulu after school. quite fun x) those two are forever arguing and pissing each other off then the next day they're talking and joking again. hahhaha a mini soap opera. =) and cheryl was like so shocked when i [once again, i couldn't keep my big mouth shut. i hate myself.] told her about -ahemahem- hahaha and lulu was telling her about who likes johnnie -hinthint- lulu you big goon. then we went to buy lulu's bras but fussy fussy fussy lulu decided not too in the end. hmm right now they should be at lulu's hse if they haven't already made their way to orchard to meet roxy and sam they all. =) hahaha i'm a little mad.. still suffering from the side effects of spending an hour or so with those two. x) oh! and in the bus i saw this girl from my school carrying an obs cert. they're back! welcome home everyone!

she smiled
at 5:40 PM

Thursday, August 21, 2003
today was alright i guess... had a basically shit-boring day. oh, and rachel and i had a nice long chat today too... told them about -ahemahem- and she told me about her own -ahem- hahahaha she says i should let -ahemahem- know about my feelings but i just... i don't know. i guess i'm scared of rejection.. that's only normal isn't it...? anyway we were talking with shireen too and shireen and i were sharing the chair, and like we had our hands draped over each other. hahaha the malay teacher at the front was GLARING at us okay! hahaha prude. x)

loser yap gave us a test during emath and i slept through most of it. hahah i think the people waiting outside were laughing at me cos i was just leaning against the door-jamb and snoozing away. =) hahaha yap can go to freaking hell for all i care. *angelic smile* x) hmmm. lulu was mad on the way home... talking about how happy she would be if i got together with -ahem-. (the girl's mad i tell you) then i asked her if she would be happy if i got together with -ahemahem- and she was 'NO!!' biased woman. xP *grin* hahaha i've ahem-ed so much in the entry i'm going to get a sore throat. anyway, au revoir mademoiselles, i'm off to buy mysweetie's birthday prez. x)

she smiled
at 4:36 PM

Wednesday, August 20, 2003
You represent... naivete.
You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.

What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

she smiled
at 4:18 PM

hmmm. just got back from school. gonna do some blogging before i hit the books. how nerdy. *rolls eyes* anyway, i guess the reason i was such a bitch/brat to tasha and nat for a few days the past week was cos i was pms-ing, since i got my period today. which is funny since i've never gotten pms before, and this would be my second period this month. hmmm. haha okay i guess everyone has *TMI, VANESSA!* signs exploding from their heads. =)

anyway, today was rubbish. pure, unadulterated rubbish. i've never had a more shitty day than today. english was shit boring... talking about the pm's national day speech for two whole periods. amaths was okay since it was a free period and mrs mah wasn't around to give us the quiz. =) *whew* emaths and chinese was, as usual, the worst subjects i've ever faced. (even if emath is my best) yap was being a prig today. fuck him. like it's our fault that he can't control the class! *rolls eyes* go to hell la. lit was only good since we finished our stupid book! *cheer* i like lit alot, but when you read and analyze the same story for 3/4 of a year... it gets a *little* boring. xP i am so crappified today, excuse me. x)

any event, i'm pretty sure all the teachers hate our class. forever scolding us and telling us that we're not performing up to standard or talking too much or not being studious enough or being rude or whatever. *argh* why can't they just leave us alonE! it's not like we're not studying what... we are! okay never mind. i guess i don't make sense. -sigh- 'kays should go and do my amath hw. taa.

she smiled
at 4:12 PM

Tuesday, August 19, 2003
*whew* i just changed the skin. does this look nice? hahaa i don't know... seems kinda melancholic and sad right? ah well. then it's a good fit. matches my mood. hahaha *rolls eyes* okay i'm starved. gonna go cook some rice and eat. but you know, the funny thing is that i'm hungry, but i've no apetite to eat. it sounds confusing, but it really isn't. for example, when you're lying in your bed and feel really hot, but you can't *move* your legs to get up and turn the air-conditioning on? yeah, like that. i think i've just gone slightly mad. okay, never mind. hahaha laterss.

//forever and for always//
In your arms I can still feel the way you want me
when you hold me...
I can still hear the words you whispered
when you told me...
I can stay right here forever in your arms...

she smiled
at 11:47 AM

my second day of MC. life bites man... heard from my mum last night that my uncle is in hospital, critically ill. my aunts and cousins even called my mum a few times to tell her that he might not make it through the night. thankfully, i talked to my mum just now and she said he's unconscious but... i guess he's in stable condition. i don't know... i mean, i've never been close to the people on my mum's side and this brother of hers is a little mentally unstable so yeah.. i don't know how i feel about that. =/

hmmm.. anyway. i wonder how the people at obs are doing. wonder if it's the residential or mobile one. haha if it's the mobile one then tricia must be really happy. =) haha i bet all of them will be completely burnt and peeling when they come back to school. wish i could be burnt and peeling too. *sigh* okay, i'm really bored now. no one's home, my legs have developed rashes [maybe someone at obs has telepathically transferred them to me? xP] and i feel so full of it. shit. whatever. so i shall just type on. hmmm... read a couple of blogs just now.. and they're all like so... fake. i mean, i can't just judge someone by what they write in their online diary and stuff, but what they write is just so... not them?

ahaha am i making sense? =) anyway, i don't feel like being in a particularly nasty mood today, so i shan't bore you lot. xP and everyone goes "whatever, vanessa."

she smiled
at 10:13 AM

Monday, August 18, 2003
Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing, And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.
You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.
Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.
Do you stay for their confessions of Love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love.
Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.
Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.
But do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for? This torture, this powerful death of


Because it's...Love.

she smiled
at 9:32 AM

180803 [8.29am]
well well. you know how Murphy's law goes: "IF ANYTHING CAN GO WRONG, IT WILL. i went to the doctor's yesterday night, cos mum said i had to, since my fever returned not long after i wrote the last blog. he said i have gastric flu. my tummy's bloated. and going to OBS? definitely not, young lady. so here i am, stuck at home, with no one to talk to,
and with two days of MC. isn't that ironic? i am despondent, depressed, dismal and severely disappointed with my weak shit body. oh, and God? thanks for the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse, oh, and by the way, YOU SUCK.

she smiled
at 9:07 AM

okay, my com is fucking itself up again so i'm typing this on notepad first and post it on my bloggie later. anyway, yeah chinese period was bearable only because stupid tpg wasn't around. can't stand her lor.. always talking and talking and talking... and she's damn biased too. like she'll always scold xian wei and kelly and angeline for not paying attention but i'm always writing in my notebook or doodling in my textbook right under her nose and she doesnt say anything. i don't
mean that i *want* to be scolded or whatever.. it's just plain biasedness and i hate that. *bleahs* hate her. poor bballers. but then guess who the sub was? mr yeo. that fucking faggot who took our class a few weeks ago for a free period and who didn't even talk to any of us and just came in and said "You girls have a very bad attitude, and i'm not the first person to say this." what the fuck man. stupid fag has a bloody attitude problem, not *us*. for eg, today after the bell went he simply packed his stuff and walked straight out of the door. *furious* has he even heard of common courtesy?? go to hell!

hmmmm then english and lit [we've only got 10 bloody pages more! hurrah! xD] was shit boring but recess was cute! hahhaha cos tricia helped me buy food and she couldn't remember the orders at all. during the five minutes i was waiting there, i think matty had to repeat the orders about 5 times! hahaha and kelly says i have goldfish memory. x) hahaha hmmm missed half of emath too cos shireen chris and i didnt feel like going back to listen to that pile of dung talk to we stayed in the toilet and listened to shireen go on and on about her darling. who is probably the sweetest boy in the world. after zh, of course x) you be flattered okay! haha xP

after school we had this personality and career exploration thingy til 5 plus but it was so cool! hahaha i'm a sucker for these sorta things, i guess. but really, it was super accurate and the speaker was very funny~! kinda reminded me of my amath tuition teacher harold. =) haha well according to the test, i am I.S.D. i don't know what I or S or D stand for, but i know the character traits:
I personality:
//good sense of humour
//thrives on compliments
//inattentive, short attention span.
//decides by feeling
//more concerned with popularity than grades/results.

and can you believe that in the entire world this only makes up 12%? hahhahaa i'd bet anything half of the 12% comes from the IJ girls all over the world. we rock! haha 3/9 rocks! xD i am so full of crap today. hahaha sorry. hmm than the S traits: difficulty establishing priorities, holds grudges, indecisive, too laid-back, not easily upset, possessive, reluctant leader, hates confrontation, avoids conflict, understanding, super nice. D: dislikes routine, oversteps authority, born-leader, risk-taker, demanding, impatient with poor performance, dominant, determined, dynamic, driven, not complimentary, argumentative attitude, strong-willed, feels a need to correct wrongs, rash decision maker.

hahahahaa sounds like me or not? hahaha but some of them are contradictory so yeah. may not be that accurate after all. =) ah well. it was fun to just do the stupid test. =) anyway, OBS is less than a week awaY! kinda worried about whether it's mobile or residential and whether i can take it [yes i know, i'm a huge worrywart.] but still... haha can't help but feel excited! of course, the idea that you miss five fucking days of school is also looking extremely good. =)

haven't blogged for two days cos i'm scared of the virus. hahaa but really, just a few days ago i was telling zh that my com was fucking up and always shutting itself down, and two days after, it comes out on the news that it's the Blaster Worm virus. thanks so much for telling me. *rolls eyes* stupid shit. now i'm like saving all my stuff so i won't lose anything should my fucked up com decide to crash. anyhow, today was okay i guess. i totally fucked my chem test on quantitative analysis. i didn't even understand one godforsaken word in the entire thing. well who can i blame right.. i haven't been listening since redox. =( *sigh* after that, went to wait with tasha for her mum to come and sign the form so that she can go to australia for the next two days!! so unfair. xP ahahha so i missed most of chi *cheer* because of that. hahaa and tash was grinding all the seashells we found in the mud. =)

hmm.. most of the day passed okay la.. not much to say about it. just total slacking with shireen for the rest of the day. yap is being a prat. prig. prune. my alliteration skills are wonderful, don't you think? ahahha sorry just crapping. but really lor... he's the biggest asshole on the face of the earth. and he never picks on me. just poor shireen and candice. am i invisible or what?? hello, won't you pls send me out of class or something so i don't have to listen to you! XD hahaha.. hmm oh then PC was great fun! the lady [mrs felicity ho i think] was so cute and fun for a 65 year old. =) she was like "I have 8 grandchildren, and i didn't get them by imagination." hahha x) so cute. sense and sexuality classes with her for the next 8 weeks. joy! haha well it's better than spending quality time with our dear
form teacher, crying on his shoulder on how we *can't* just kick the habit of drinking and go pubbing every night. *sigh* x) hahaa i'm being an utter retard, forgive me. school has fried my brains.

oh then we had an OBS briefing after that with mrs nicks. haha she's so cute. so funny. =) kinda excited for OBs, though i'm a little nervous too... like what if i can't cope with all the activities and all... hmm at least we're in a group and there'll be someone with me. hope it's someone from our class! hahaa but i really hope it's not some nerdy shit. *crosses fingers* haha so mean. *slaps self* tsk. hmmmm.. then had lunch with erika, though for her it was like desert since she had alr eaten. *pout* hahah and the stupid girl made us take the wrong bus! even me, with my complete direction-challenged mentality knew that you can't take 130. *rolls eyes* haha but yeah.. went to macs and ate. x) we talked abt jolyn and her BO tOOO!! hahaha she said when she walked past her today she purposely took a deep breath so she could smell it cos she didn't believe that anyone could smell *so* bad. *whacks head with exasperation* stoops. =) then she nearly choked. hahahha deserves it! =) hmmmm... i wish i could go online!! so unfair............. ='( i can't even read my own tagboard now.. *sigh* deprived. XP *jumps up and down* so excited for OBS! and sunday's MAD hair day! *cheeeeeeeeerrrr* XD hahahaha okay laters.

170803 [6.55am]
i have had a lousy night. i threw up twice, disgusting brown gunk, and i vomitted so hard, i was tearing. anyway. i have shit luck. yesterday i was fine, had swimming training in the morning and cat class in the afternoon and i was COMPLETELY FINE until evening. then i started feeling lethargic and tired and sick. then i got a fever. mum had to sleep in my room with me so she could 'monitor' me. so yeah. i'm not going for MAD hair today, even though it's one of the things i've been looking forward to for so long. it's so fucking unfair. my life/luck sucks. everytime i'm looking forward to something and wanting it so much, something'll happen and it'll all fuck itself up. *sob* current temperature: 38.6 fuck. i have to concentrate on getting well today man.. I AM NOT MISSING OBS! =) shit la...i wanted to see what everyone's hair style would look like. stupid fucking shit. anyway. i miss my daddy. he better meet me at school tmr or i'll die at OBS. haven't seen him for so long *sob*

i'm feeling so much better! =D the fever's almost gone and i managed to eat porridge, thus ending my absence of apetite! yay! hahaha at least i won't miss OBS. XD lulu is so nice! msged me such sweet things. =) *hugslulu* love you darling! and i'm sorry you can't go for OBS. =(

she smiled
at 9:06 AM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003
back again, long lost friends. =) today has been quite a good day, surprisingly. had two FREE periods of chinese this morning cos tan poh geok didn't come! that made my day man... hahaha x) speaking of which, i still haven't written the essay she made us write last week. hmmm.

she smiled
at 11:18 PM

Monday, August 11, 2003
hello all! today was generally a good day... had PE first thing in the morning and i passed my PFT! yay!! xD i actually managed 3 pull-ups. as opposed to my previous test in which i did none, i'm pretty darn happY! hahaha lame. x) hmmm oh and i managed to do a 190cm for my standing broad jump which was better than my last try. anyway, after that had chem. stupid shitty chem. hardly paid attention at all... i think mrs wong has given up on me. haha yeah she should. she's just wasting her time on me. *angelic* hahaha.. physics today started out fun. haha cos Mr Tan is constantly bantering and teasing the dance girls - sam, roxanne and all. then it got *so* boring, even nat was "is this the part where we stop paying attention?" hahah i don't think anything could get more boring than conduction, convection and radiation. *snoooze*

oh. then we had english. [speaking of which, joteo and eric tan totally behave like an old married couple. constantly arguing and bickering -- as concluded by natalie and me today =)] english was infuriating. it was about homosexuality. and yeah whether it's nurture or nature. joteo is the world's most biased bitch. she can't even say the word 'homosexuality'. prude. prune. *scowl* and tasha is completely against it. i swear, if i didn't love her to death, she'd be dead by now. tash: it's disgusting! *rolls eyes* natalie: don't worry i've met many ignorant people in my life. a few more won't kill me. and guess what. i'm sitting in between the both of them. while i definitely don't agree with tasha, i'm not that dedicated to loyally standing up for gay rights and stuff. i mean, i encourage and support it, [hell i'd even kiss a girl right in front of joteo if only to shut her up] i'm not as... well, insane as nat. hahahaha just kidding nat you know i love yoU! x)

okay, i guess that's enough crapping for one day. laterss.

she smiled
at 5:27 PM

Sunday, August 10, 2003
wheeeeeeeee~ Today is yet another lazy loony Sunday! Went for training this morning with Ubrina and Stephanie. and Steph was so nice! She asked me to write in her autograph book even though I only knew her this year and don't really know her that well at all. =) I'm so flattered! hahaha and Ubrina and I discovered how hard it actually is to raise both your legs straight into the air without bending your knees. *grin* All in all, training today was quite okay. =)

Oh! I went to the National Day Parade yesterday! It was the most wonderful, beautiful, superb and brilliant parade that i'v ever been to! Everything went so smoothly, and it felt like the whole stadium just kinda... bonded? I don't know haha =) When we did the Kallang Wave, it actually went around the stadium 4 times! And usually it just dies after 1. haha Gurmit Singh was so funny! You know how they divide the whole stadium into two teams and make them compete against each other in cheering and stuff like that? yeah well he was in charge of Team B and i was in Team A la. Then after this one cheering thing, he was like 'Oh, Team A isn't so bad after all... I heard about 5 people screaming." hahaha it doesn't sound very funny, does it? haha but I laughed so hard! x) *twisted* =) I was tingling during all the sentimental and touching parts cos I felt so sad... They had this segment about the crisis on SARS and everyone was like completely silent. =') So moving... hahaa and I think this year's song for National Nay, the "One United People" by Stefanie Sun is the best National Day song for a very very very long time! =D hahaha and I like the "Stand Up For Singapore" version that Celest Chong and some other people sang. hahaa I'm in a very patriotic mood right now! *grin* xD

I drove you to the edge of the map and after that / I pushed you off just to watch you fall / You never were the bounce back kind / But boy this time you've proven me wrong after all / Now I'm the one who's gonna crawl...

she smiled
at 1:42 PM

Saturday, August 09, 2003
going for national day parade later... i don't really want to go but my mum has seats so yeah, she's making my bro and i go anyway. hmmm. had a nice long talk with marie yesterday... playing truth or dare over MSN. it sounds stupid but yeah. haha boredom kills. haha she's scared of my dares! how flattering x) okay, i'm feeling supremely full of shit so i shall just write rubbish. *cheer*

What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? get over them.
What would you do if you never got the chance to say "I am friends with all of my family and they know I love
very true... so yeah, if i died tomorrow, or today, or tonight, i hope that all of you, my darling friends who read this know that i love all of you. and you have made my life so special just by being friends with me. i could never repay you...so yeah. thanks and i love you! -hugsandkisses- god that sounded crappy. x)
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't, or saying nothing and wishing you had? i think this is a very true question... honestly, i don't know which hurts more. but i think it depends on the situation... but i think saying nothing would be less painful. at least you would never have to deal with reality right? you can just dream on and on and make up your own fairy-tale ending to whatever it is. okay, i don't know what i'm saying. *shakes head*

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. what if i don't want to...?

she smiled
at 2:41 PM

Friday, August 08, 2003
J. Lo
Ur more suttle in ur hair style. U might like to be
curly or have hair with volume.

Witch Hair style would you have.
brought to you by Quizilla

right. i don't think i'd be able to stand letting my hair down like that. and i do not want poofy haiR!

hilarious: you are as funny as the cheekiest guys
in class and know everything thats happening on
TV and all the hot places to chill. you aren't
a typical bubblegum princess, you pride
yourself on your musical picks and your
attitude. sometimes you get carried away and
often get scolded for that, but otherwise if
people want to have fun then you're the person
they'll come to! you can be as girlie as
britney when you're in the mood and as hard
assed as pink when you want. your mates love
you for being so; fun, interesting and
unpredictable, you go girl!

what kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

erm. right.

Shania Twain-You're modest and humble and you like
to spend time with your loved ones! You are
bound to last.

Which Music Artist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

okay, this is really pushing it. i have to stop doing so many quizzes

she smiled
at 4:38 PM

Just finished watching "Anti-trust"... It's the best show I've seen for ages! So intriguing and Nat, you were right! Ryan Philippe looks so good when he was stretching and when he was in bed with his girlfriend (Claire Forlani). *hormonal rush* hahaha I have *got* to watch "Cruel Intentions" again! x)

Anyway, half-day today cos of National Day... School was so fuckedup! Had an outdoor mass, which was quite cool but poor, deprived and now traumatized me had to sit behind FLY. Who smells worse than stinky feet and rotting cheese put together. -faints- haha okay, I don't have much of a conscience. But really lor... She doesn't give a shit about her appearance [and her smell] even though she knows we are being terribly emotionally mauled by it. sheesh. haha Anyway. After that, we had to go back to class to sew some "Fabric-of-the-Nation" shit and Mrs Wong was being a pain in the ass. Oh, and all this happened while some lame-ass teacher [I think it was Yvonne Ng] played crappy national day songs that the teachers sung [although, it would be much more accurate to say that Mr Yap was warbling like a strangled lorikeet and not singing] over the PA system. If that isn't the cherry on top of my traumatizing and perpetually embarrassing day at school, I don't know what is. =)

I was supposed to go to Changi to eat Popeye's Chicken [I think] with Savvanah and Bobbee and Icee and Dennie, but mum said I shouldn't cos of the Bali bombings and her own misguided paranoia. *rolls eyes* Aje couldn't go too, so we went to J8 to eat breakfast and take neos. Had a niceAll the neos look so fuckedup! I look like crap. xP And Aje you looked good okay! I wouldn't lie! And stop saying the sky is not falling down...! xP I am not a bimbo. I am not a ditz! *pouts* hahaha. Anyway, saw my brother there too, and for some reason, he's being totally nice to me today. *ponders* hmmm... Anyway. I'm trying to write properly. As in with caps and punctuations. haha I'm just being lame, I know. =) And today has been my first successful day in not thinking about *ahem-ahem* at all. I RULE. honestly, I can't remember when's the last time I've had so much self-discipline over someone. hmm. haha oh I have to leave a note!

mellie darling: don't be so sad yeah? it makes me sad too... -hugsandkissses- i love you so much! and remember when you need someone to talk to or to just bitch and all about life, there's always me and the whole bunch of friends that are flooding your guestbook everyday. =) chin up, darling. the world hasn't ended yet. and if the world does end tomorrow... well i'll be grateful that i've got you. -smucks- love you!

she smiled
at 3:25 PM

Thursday, August 07, 2003
just got back from training a while ago, so i'm just sitting here blogging away while waiting for my hair to dry so i can go to sleep. training sucked. saw pui quan and cheryl there but they didn't train. so naughty! hahaha...and the people i'm swimming with now suck big man... all they're holier-than-thou shit. can go to fucking hell. but there was one nice girl, inez or izez from RGS. surprising... hahah that an RGS girl would be so nice to a mere mortal like me. *rolls eyes* i'm being a dick, forgive me.

haha.. today was okay. cat class was, for once, quite interesting. and kinda moving too, cos it felt like all of us were really united. haha what crap! but never mind. =) got my shitass chem results back. 19/40. *cheer* well, at least i did a little better. beats my mid-year results by about 6%. so yeah, i'll count that as an improvement. =) hmm... school was basically just rubbish today.. had to attend a stupid lecture on the M.A.D hair-raising thing we're doing next sunday. so completely boring. waste my time only. x( hmmm... actually, today was quite uneventful. *sigh* this boring life of mine. but at least i'm going out tomorrow to eat chicken. even if it *is* at Changi. x)

bobbee! lennie! you two pieces of shit. don't believe me when i said i'm over *ahem-ahem*. i am, okay. haha i didn't think about him for the whole freaking day. what an achievement! yeah, so i swear i won't ever talk and moan your ears off with my incessant and unbearable ranting and raving again. cross my heart. hope to die.

she smiled
at 10:27 PM

Wednesday, August 06, 2003
oh forgot to add. today, during literature, joteo was being an ass. hahaha i swear she loves picking on me! cos we were discussing alfieri and eddie's conversation and talking about why eddie kissed rodolfo. and i was just sitting there. listening, and unconsciously playing with tasha's hand, like kinda holding it la. [i hereby swear that i do not have any feelings for natasha, so yeah, tash, you can rest easy!] then, joteo sees me and says 'no need to hold hands. you're putting ideas in my head.' WHAT A PERVERT. i blushed like hell lor and tasha was like 'WHA--???!' i think joteo thinks tasha's crooked now hahaha since she's seen her hug another girl frm behind and some other stuff that i can't remember. *so* maluating. but hey, that's her pervy little fantasy, not mine. mine's different. x)

she smiled
at 6:43 PM

hmm.. at home now. today was okay...mundane. boring. typical. hahaa i starved for recess, only had one pathetic slice of watermelon, 'cause i'm now trying to save up for the hair straightening when i go with stephi in september! yay! hahaha... hmmm... got back amath and emath today! i want to scream!! i actuallt goy 17/20 for amath! amath! the same amath i failed with a 40% last semester... yay! so happy... and emath was 13. not that good but at least it's 65%. xD so thrilled! hahaa... hope my mum lets me go out on friday. abish, stephi, carol and nat want to go to changi airport. why? to eat chicken. yeah. CHANGI. CHICKEN. *rolls eyes* but stephi says it's the best chicken ever so... i'll take her word for it. then if it's not good, we'll just fry stephi and eat her. x)

went to do my IC after school today... all the way to lavender. and by myself some more. so scary. hahaha but it was okay la. my photo looks damn retarded though, my hair *poofing* up at the back as usual, as chris would say. =) had chicken rice just now for my lunch-dinner. i think i've lost about 10kg today already. feel so hungry. i hate being broke. hate saving. x'( hahaha okay i have to go do carol's bloggie now. or she'll complain to nat that i'm being selfish again. the things i do for her! sheeeeesh. x)

she smiled
at 5:17 PM

i'm in school and having english lesson in the com lab now... supposed to be looking for some stuff on euthanasia, mercy killing an whether it's good to legalise it. i think it's legalised murder. but if the person is suffering so much then would it be a good idea to just kill them and end their suffering? it's all so confusing. anyway, mum has allowed me to straighten my hair! finally! ahaha =) okay hafta go now. laters.

she smiled
at 8:40 AM

Tuesday, August 05, 2003
had half-day today! haha and i didn't tell anyone =) anyway, went to bugis with stephi, carol and abish to eat! hahaha had yoshinoyo [is that what it's called? i can't remember] beef bowl for lunch then went to take neos! x) ahahaha we took twice and they were all so retarded looking. hahaha but it was cute lar. then went shopping around a little, saw rachel and her sister there too. anyway, had lotsa fun with you guys! let's go out again soon yeah? and stephi remember we still have to take a neo together! x) hmmm... i wanna pierce my ears agaiN! but then if my mum sees it i'm as good as dead lor. shucks. =( anyway. i went to do my IC today! met up with my dad at the ICA and went up to register but GUESS WHAT. *screams* i forgot my fucking birth cert!!! so pissed off. i'm the most forgetful idiot in the whole wide world. x( argh! hmm. we have so much fucking homework today. how pissing offing. and i still have tuition later. fucks. =( life BITES.

// Don't follow in my footsteps... I walk into walls. //

she smiled
at 5:36 PM

Monday, August 04, 2003
today i woke up feeling happy. jovial. delighted. i think, maybe i even woke up smiling, which happens about as often as the world revolves backwards. generally, you don't wake a girl up at 6 in the morning when she only fell asleep at one the night before and expect her to leap out of bed singing "Happy days are here agaiN!" so. anyway. my wonderful feelings of utmost bliss didnt even last til first period. i don't know why. it wasn't as if anything bad happened. these days i've been so down and out... ah well. anyway. we had PE today... hahaha and rugby was so amusing! cos we were playing full-contact rugby and like we were all tackling each other to the ground and kicking and whacking when we got the ball, and our dear old darling stephi kicked jolyn... *there*. not up there. down there. hahahahahahaha so mean to laugh about it but really lor. hahaha so funny. okay i should stop being mean. *clears throat* there. stop being a bitch vanessa. tsk. =)

then bathed and missed a little of chem *cheer* oh, and i tried the pull-ups again. i thought 450 arm-pulls by my stupid coach must have helped a *little* but, nope. so, nat and i have decided to pon PE next week. hahaha just to get out of doing our stupid re-test. and then this will be the first year that i failed pft. like i give a fuck. hahaa anyway, mr tan is back! yay! he's quite a good teacher la so i'm glad he's back. plus today when joteo was ragging us for talking during his period, he kinda defended us a little! was saying 'no la, they're not so bad' and all! hahaha at least i think i heard that. kudos to him! =) hmmm... oh. heard the OBS is the mobile sort. SHIT. x( i hate camping!!! was hoping and praying it was the dormitory sort. but no. of course not. grrr. and i got back my chem and chinese marks today. chem was shit, but it wasn't the first test though, it was the previous one which i had to take after coming back from the nationals and missing 5 periods of chem. yeah. got 17.5/55. fucks. hahaha and then my chinese! *squeals* hhahaa so happy! i got 64/100!! hahahaa not that good but i improved by 2 grades since mid-year so, yeah. thrilled. x)

and tomorrow is a half-day!! *cheer* hahaha can't wait to watch "2 fast 2 furious" with them. =) i think devon aoki is dman cute haha x)

she smiled
at 7:39 PM

Sunday, August 03, 2003
today has been a shitty day. i am tired. and sleepy. didn't go for training this morning 'cause i wanted to sleep in for at least a day a week. that was a big mistake, because i've just realized that my mother is more enthusiastic about swimming than i am. she's going to force me to go for training this evening, just wait. and i still have PE first thing tomorrow morning where, undoubtedly, stupid teojingling is going to tell us that she's disappointed that our class has -gasp- failures for PFT and probably make us run 10000 rounds before wasting the rest of the two periods explaining the precise way to play rugby. like we don't know. i'm still aching from yesterday's training. my mum is nuts. oh, but on the bright side, which in this case, is honestly quite dim, i bought shoes yesterday. the kind of track shoes but with no back and no laces. yeah. that. i have no idea what they call those sorta shoes. hahaha. oh and i wrote two poems yesterday. yippee.

// weak //
i've bared my soul for you to see,
i've exposed all my vulnerabilities.
i've stripped myself naked too,
and all because i'm in love with you.

you know, i think my poems suck. they don't really make sense. ah well. what can i do.

// what i am //
if i was a millionaire, i'd give my gold all to you
if i was God, i'd make all your wishes come true
if i was a nightingale, i'd sing for you everyday
if i was devout i'd offer prayers up for you each day.
but i'm only human, only a girl, you see
so all i'd hope for you is that you'd be happy
even if it doesn't for me

yeah this one sucks worse. hahaha =) well i'm glad that at least tasha likes the one i wrote for her. -huggs-

she smiled
at 4:27 PM

Saturday, August 02, 2003
hmms. went for training this morning with ubrina and bonnie. stupid jiao lian made us do like 450 arm pulls... can feel my poor muscles beginning to go mad. oh and i forgot to blog yesterday that i kissed sam see hahaha. on the cheek only la so it doesnt matter. can't remember who dared me but it was like since most of the ppl in our [very very very smart] class went for honours day, we had nothing to do and joteo wasnt arnd either. so we played truth or dare. at first it was just chris, carol, shireen, robyn, alyssa, lulu and me. then candice, qibing, sam see, corrine and nicole frm 3/7 came to play too. hahaha and the dares got so sick. ahahaa anyway, mr yap is a loser. big full-time LOSER. he was talking about drugs, drinking and shit like that during PC. and he looked so shocked when i told him that i go to pubs to play pool. and shireen was like 'next time let's tell him we drink, we go pubbing every school nite, we've experimented with marijuana and ecstasy, we've run away from home, we've had 100 different boyfriends blahblahblah." hahaa one of these days maybe i shld do that. if only to see his eyeballs pop out of his sockets. x) fun.

i'm bored. b-o-r-e-d-d-d-d-d. =( going for cat class later... *sigh* hate going for cathecism! and end of this year i have a cat camp also. *wail*haha so unholy right. no la it's just that it's soo boring and i only go to see my friends and get attendance. *sigh* life sucks.

she smiled
at 10:34 AM

Friday, August 01, 2003
You should be dating an Aquarius.
20 January - 18 February
Your mate is communicative, thoughtful and caring.
Though he/she can be tactless and rude and
sometimes self-interested, he/she enjoys the
intellectual experience of sex.

What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

^^^lulu's test results!! hahaha she should be dating vera. x)

You're Perfect ^^
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

^^lulu's and my result. lulu: bullshit. me: riiiight.

Become a nun! You are the one that turns in disgust
at public displays of affection. Have you ever
even had a boyfriend/girlfriend?

How Perverted are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

^mine and lulu's. lulu: that's true... that is very sad. me: i do not.

innocent kiss
innocent kiss - you're cute and sweet and like it
that way

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


she smiled
at 4:34 PM

today was shit. had stupid double chem in the morning and i actually tried to pay attention and kinda succeeded. *cheer* go me! hahhaa *lame* anyway, besides that today has been quite okay lar. like we had 3 periods free after amaths and emaths cos joteo and annabellechow werent there today... haha so shireen and chris and i just slacked lit away in the toilet cos we didnt want to do the homework joteo set for us. so fun! hahahaa and we were like teasing everyone and this sec 2 girl that came in thought we were making fun of her just cos we said 'hello!' to her after she came out of the toilet and when she was inside. hahahaa sec 2s. *throws hands up in exasperation* ah well. but it was soo much fun... shireen dont be so sad abt you-know-who okay? not worth it dearie... *hugs* soon someone new will sweep you off your feeT! hahahaha and it was so fun chillin with you today.. let's do it again sometime yeah? *hugsandkisses*

oh and lulu is at my hse now! hahaa and she wants to say sth: i found a BUG in my rice! A BUG!!! a big black ugly shiny BUG!!! i dunno wad to say. as usual, lulu makes such wonderful sense. ghoondu. x) hahhaa supposed to dye my hair today but i was broke and then we forgot to go to J8. stooopss.

she smiled
at 4:19 PM

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